re: Anyone here ever get hit by sudden and seemingly random crippling depression?

king, you have a college degree?

I'm late to this party but...

Some good advice in here. Happens to me all the time. None of this life means shite accept to you and your immediate loved ones. Even that meaning is fleeting, and once your kids are older and have kids and grandkids, you'll just be the old dude and then just a name and maybe a picture. I was walking through a cemetery recently when it dawned on me that eventually, you're just a name and date etched in stone forever, that maybe people will read and maybe no one will read.

So, I'm with you, but I got no real advice. I take hour plus walks whenever i can. I enjoy my family as much as I can, listen to good music, go fishing take vacations etc.

Sometimes my solution is to just enjoy various drugs. Sometimes I drink too much. We are all part of a pointless rat race.

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About three weeks ago it hit me that I’m going to die one day. I started thinking about how everything is finite and pretty much meaningless. Been feeling really low and down since and can’t seem to shake it. Like thanatophobia has suddenly become a thing for me.

I’ve got no reason for this. In the past two years I’ve run a marathon, four half marathons, joined the 750 pound club in the gym, gotten a new job, and had more success as a musician than I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve also had a daughter and been cultivating a great relationship with my son while boosting the quality of my marriage all at the same time.

I should be fricking ecstatic and full of life and energy but I’m honestly having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

I’ve got a feeling I’m just overwhelmed with stress. I go 100mph from the time I wake up until I pass out and it’s mostly just keeping up with the house, my job, and my kids. It’s relentless. And while finances are good in terms of being safe and secure, we aren’t living high by any means. Teacher salaries don’t go anywhere.

Anyways, thanks OT. I know I’ve come to the right place.

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I read all of this and can't find ANYTHING in there that mentions your wife still giving you proper and timely frickins and suckins.

That's what you're lackin boy. Tell that Birmingham Blueblood Bride of yours to get to work.

Dealing with it now. I also started a thread about a week ago. It's been overwhelming. I have an appt with the psychiatrist next week.

Not at all, I'm really looking forward to it. I've accepted that there's something wrong with me and I need some help. This is no way to go thru life.

You just identified your problem. You were “once devout christian”, renew your faith and relationship with Christ. Go to Church this Sunday!

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You just identified your problem. You were “once devout christian”, renew your faith and relationship with Christ. Go to Church this Sunday!

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I'm not so sure that this will help OP, but it worked for me. I engaged in terrible substance and sexual behavior for years to fill "the void", but about 2.5 years ago, I underwent my catechism in the Orthodox Church in America and have been going to Liturgy and Orthos ever since. It gives me a peace that I had not known before.

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and had more success as a musician than I’ve ever had in my life. Yeah..well, I know this has drastically reduced my lifespan.

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How so? I am a musician as well, granted, I’ve never seen much success. Lately, I’ve found myself feeling miserable performing on stage and practicing at home, and those things used to be things I really looked forward to. That used to be my release. Instead, I just feel this overwhelming dread up there. I just feel frustration with my instrument in my hands, like the connection between it and my creative side has been severed. It used to be an instrument through which I could channel my pain and emotion and turn it into art. Now, it just feels like a heavy hunk of wood around my neck.

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Lately, I’ve found myself feeling miserable performing on stage and practicing at home, and those things used to be things I really looked forward to. That used to be my release.

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Saw you said you went to law school. Are you still a lawyer working at a firm? I was miserable all through law school and tax school, thought I was just down be cause my dad died my first year and then had a bad breakup with a long time gf. I got out of school and was working at a firm, at first the money was nice enough to be doing something that made me unhappy. It finally got to where I wouldn't let myself enjoy things outside of work anymore, things like I would change the station if a song came on that reminded me of being happy. I thought, "I'm not happy, why can I listen to this?". The day I put in my notice and knew I was getting out of the law firm life, it was like a huge fog was lifted off of me.

Apparently our typical day was up with sun and down with sun. Ancient ancestors spent a couple of hours hunting and gathering then returned to the tribe to share & socialize. If the large herd was on the move then you and your people were too.

Now days this is still possible. You can move off the grid and out in the wild. or when you reach OT Boss lvl start writing off hunting/fishing trips for meals & entertainment. When the ducks dont come south just take your clients north.