re: Anybody go to a shrink?

Find a rabbi srs

Men typically do better in group settings than 1 on 1 therapy.

The origin of most mental health issues for men revolve around shame. (Women it's depression and anxiety).

Find a male therapist who specializes in men's issues. Book some 1 on 1 sessions with him. Then ask him about his various men's groups. He will have them. He probably organizers at least one. They're similar to AA style, meeting in church basements or restaurant back rooms etc.

Theyre free.

The key to the group dynamic is that you hear other men talking about similar problems. And the group gives acceptance and encouragement, not judgement. That gives you the courage to stand up and talk about your issue.

And two things happen: one is that you don't get the reaction you're terrified of; judgement and ridicule. You get love from your peers. The next thing that happens is that you realize that your problems are not as bad as the guy's problems next to you. There's comfort in comparative suffering.

When all this hits, the shame starts going away. And then the problems seem way more manageable.

Good luck

Yes.

Through the VA

I would avoid the big Telehealth groups like BetterHealth or Talk Space. I’ve had clients come from them that complained of shitty scheduling, just handing out worksheets, etc. They’re pretty exploitative so most good therapists aren’t working for them.

Go to Psychology Today and search your area. At the top are filters that will allow you to select Men’s Issues, the gender of your therapist, and the insurance you’d like to use.

You can also search for therapy groups on there as well.

I did Betterhelp online for months with an awesome dude that has his own practice in Slidell

When you sign up you can put if you want a more religious person, man or woman, etc to get someone you’re more comfortable with

Wasn’t cheap but my mind is worth more than money

I went to one as a kid. Incredibly helpful. I am a huge proponent of seeking help if you feel you need. Our brains are incredibly complex. Go to one, if you don’t feel better or you don’t find a good fit, seek another. I bet there are specialists in grief support. Heck, big churches have support groups, start there if you are leary of psychotherapy

What may be "good" in the eyes of a PCP may not be good for a patient. While it can't hurt to get recommendations from doctors, it's only an opinion based from their perspective. It's not like an opinion on who's a better surgeon or Oncologist. Therapy is largely dependent on the similar ideologies from provider to patient. It doesn't mean you need to agree on everything but there are some basic fundamental basics that should be shared especially when it comes to grief and dealing with the loss of a loved on. The existence and belief in God and his son Jesus Christ for example

Do not do telehealth and absolutely do not do better help

Do in person, it's far better. You and the therapist, not shrink, can read each other's movements and emotions much better.

Edit: where do you live?