re: All this inheritance talk has me curious, fill all the cup equally? Or fill it the same?

Give it to all equally. If one is that irresponsible it is my failure

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Skip a generation and give it to the grand kids.

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That’s a good way to ensure your grandkids are dipshits.

Our kids are in their 30s. They have established themselves in life, as responsible industrious adults. Only now are we changing our will to give them life changing money. Had we died 10 years ago they would have gotten a small amount, and the rest would have gone to charity. Trusts are not the answer either. When a young person knows there is a trust he tends to plan to reach the date of trust maturity.

I've recently been discussing this w my mother. My brother really needs the $ just to survive and I dont. I've suggested leaving more to him but establishing a trust w clear guidelines so he cant squander it and I wont be stuck in middle making disbursement decisions. Anything left in trust can go to my kids eventually (he has none.) My nightmare is spending rest of my brother's life responding to his demands for $ from a trust but he would squander it himself in no time and have no idea how to manage withdrwals to meet 10year rule and pay taxes etc.
I've asked that she consider giving him her entire 401k (since he has almost no income) and if she wants to give me and/or grandkids anything prioritize small Roth IRA, taxable brokerage, cash accounts and home (so I get stepped up basis) since he has no ability to maintain or manage them responsibly. I urged her to get a basic will in place ASAP and work w an estate attorney to figure out trust but she isnt always good on timely follow through.

I would have felt cheated if he got the bulk of inheritance when we were younger but now I just feel sorry for him and know his survival weighs heavy on my Mom.

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That’s great advice. Just one suggestion, because I have this same situation, too, just with a seventh kid who is a niece. Give specific instructions on how the money is to be parceled out. That gets the responsible kid off the hook with the irresponsible one.

We have told our son that we are putting a substantial amount in trust for an irresponsible niece with he as trustee. There will be annual disbursements such that the principal will not run out. She can’t get pissed at him because he is just following instructions.

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For sure. My SIL's trust doesn't specify any periodic distributions (at least not last time I saw the terms), but my wife will only be able to release funds to pay directly for specific types of expenses that are outlined in the documents (healthcare, housing, education, etc.).

You have to earn the glengary leads. To give them to your BIL would just be throwing them away.

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I wonder how many people actually leave one, everyone tells me that end of life care takes ends up with most of what people ever had.

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This is popular on Reddit with millennials.

What’s also popular is the notion these same people that don’t have any money to leave them are the ones they complain about saying they had it so easy and have all the money.


It doesn’t really jive.


It’s more like some boomers are well off and some aren’t. Some millennials make more than their boomer parents did, some don’t.

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housing

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If it’s a good amount, vacation home you also earn income on.