- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Score Board
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- SEC Score Board
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Advice for dealing with a loved one who is in cognitive decline?
Posted on 10/14/21 at 11:29 am to Will Cover
Posted on 10/14/21 at 11:29 am to Will Cover
Sounds like you've done what you can do up to this point. Does someone have power of attorney for this person? If not, it needs to get done. With respect to the driving, get those keys away from them at all cost and get the vehicle out of sight. We have dealt with a lot of this with my father who has altzheimer's. My parents are very close with their insurance agent and they very quietly let us know what would happen if he got in a wreck post diagnosis. Unlike your case, my father has been very docile and submissive, but it can change on a dime. Had my first encounter with sundowners not too long ago and it was unreal. Big thing I learned from my dad's neurologist is most if not all of the care orders will come from his PCP. You mention personality disorder. Some of the meds can go a long way to simply turning off the person. It's a horrible thing to contemplate, but it may be for the best.
Best advice I can give you is those who will be closest to and providing support to the person need to make sure to take care of themselves. Our neurologist has has begun focusing on this alone with our situation. It's incredibly stressful and draining. Seek support anywhere you can.
Best advice I can give you is those who will be closest to and providing support to the person need to make sure to take care of themselves. Our neurologist has has begun focusing on this alone with our situation. It's incredibly stressful and draining. Seek support anywhere you can.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 11:31 am to Will Cover
Call the White House -- they deal with this on a daily basis.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 11:41 am to Will Cover
Place them in an Assisted Living Facility.
It’s your only choice unless you can afford round the clock in home trained sitters.
The decision is painful but correct.
It’s your only choice unless you can afford round the clock in home trained sitters.
The decision is painful but correct.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 11:49 am to Will Cover
You need to be very patient and kind to them because they can't help it and the situation is very difficult for them.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 12:03 pm to Will Cover
As others have suggested, if this person is still lucid enough to give you or another trusted person a durable power of attorney, have that done immediately. You will regret it if things go farther. Someone needs authority to handle decisions that are non medical in nature and sign on that person's behalf.
I have a friend dealing with her mother right now. She moved her mother into her home and has sitters during the day while she works. Her mother has turned mean and fires the sitters. She also calls the police on the sitters. She gets up in the middle of the night and cooks. Once she got up, got dressed and was found at midnight by a neighbor on the ground in the street with injuries. My friend is trying to keep her mother in her home, but it's not working for either of them. She's about to move her to a private facility. It's safer for her mother and saner for my friend who is exhausted from little sleep and working all day. Hard choice, but sometimes, it's the only way and professional care is needed. Her mother is simply unable to be cooperative due to the cognitive issues. Remember, that you have to take care of yourself as much as possible to care for your loved one.
If you do get sitters in the home, don't have a different person every day. The first agency my friend used sent a new one each day and there's no way for the person at issue to become comfortable and secure that way. I'd never heard of it done like that, but maybe that's the norm in some areas. Most folks I know will have one for a week and then another for a week and those same sitters stay on schedule, week on and week off. Others have a day sitter and a night sitter, but they are the same people all the time. Having strangers in the house can be daunting for anyone, but especially for those going through these cognitive changes.
Best to you. It's an extremely difficult situation and you have to ignore what the person says if it's hurtful. Remember that this is not who that person is or was.
I have a friend dealing with her mother right now. She moved her mother into her home and has sitters during the day while she works. Her mother has turned mean and fires the sitters. She also calls the police on the sitters. She gets up in the middle of the night and cooks. Once she got up, got dressed and was found at midnight by a neighbor on the ground in the street with injuries. My friend is trying to keep her mother in her home, but it's not working for either of them. She's about to move her to a private facility. It's safer for her mother and saner for my friend who is exhausted from little sleep and working all day. Hard choice, but sometimes, it's the only way and professional care is needed. Her mother is simply unable to be cooperative due to the cognitive issues. Remember, that you have to take care of yourself as much as possible to care for your loved one.
If you do get sitters in the home, don't have a different person every day. The first agency my friend used sent a new one each day and there's no way for the person at issue to become comfortable and secure that way. I'd never heard of it done like that, but maybe that's the norm in some areas. Most folks I know will have one for a week and then another for a week and those same sitters stay on schedule, week on and week off. Others have a day sitter and a night sitter, but they are the same people all the time. Having strangers in the house can be daunting for anyone, but especially for those going through these cognitive changes.
Best to you. It's an extremely difficult situation and you have to ignore what the person says if it's hurtful. Remember that this is not who that person is or was.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 12:10 pm to Will Cover
Get in home help ASAP.
People are often resistant but if you can afford it, get it.
Caregiving breaks people on a lot of levels.
People are often resistant but if you can afford it, get it.
Caregiving breaks people on a lot of levels.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:02 pm to mahdragonz
I have a future in-law dealing with their mother in this situation and it’s really bad. The worst part is it’s a complete drain on her and she’s at an age that she could be absolutely living her life to fullest but she’s basically has 0 time or freedom because of taking care of her mother.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:12 pm to Triple Bogey
quote:
As far as money, the nursing home will want all of their financials and will drain every account before getting government assistance. I think they look at the previous 5 years.
Because you can't have government assistance if you have means. It's not that the nursing home is doing something wrong, but that you must pay until you no longer have means.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:14 pm to Will Cover
quote:
Will Cover
email Sent my brother
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:15 pm to CoachChappy
quote:
As far as money, the nursing home will want all of their financials and will drain every account before getting government assistance. I think they look at the previous 5 years.
Those places bleed people, because they know they are needed. It's really terrible.
Those places require payment. They are not free. We don't have free eldercare services in our country, nor should we. As long as someone has means, they will be required to pay.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:24 pm to BROpaneTANK
quote:this is what I think of when people say they have children so they have someone to take care of them when they are old. I have 4 children but never want to put them through this.
The worst part is it’s a complete drain on her and she’s at an age that she could be absolutely living her life to fullest but she’s basically has 0 time or freedom because of taking care of her mother.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:36 pm to Will Cover
In LA you'd need to start a legal interdiction ASAP. Look up what TX has that gives full legal control and take over. Been there, done that. Do not delay.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 1:39 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:44 pm to Will Cover
quote:
Advice for dealing with a loved one who is in cognitive decline? by Will Cover
Email Jill Biden. She will have first hand info.
Sorry you're having to deal with this. I've seen others struggle with this. It's tough.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:46 pm to LaLadyinTx
quote:
Those places require payment. They are not free.
Um...no fricking shite!
Why not have set rates based on customer need? Why not publish those rates? Why do they want to see your financials?
Because they want to bleed you for every dollar they can.
It's like these blood sucking roofers after a hurricane. They want to know what insurance is giving you before they start working. they are leeches who are bleeding you, because you have no other options.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 1:47 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:48 pm to HotBoudin
quote:
Look up what TX has that gives full legal control and take over. Been there, done that. Do not delay.
Agreed. Very important.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:01 pm to Will Cover
Only one of the two remaining Democrat relatives will speak with me, All of the other cannot stand the leftists.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:42 pm to CitizenK
Disable the car by removing battery or possibly starter fuse. Removing drivers license won't get the job done and no one with dementia or alzhemiers should be driving.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:51 pm to Will Cover
Good Luck to the OP. I truly hope i never get to be this type of burden on my family. Getting old sucks but having to live like this must terrible. I work in the medical field and see some patients spend 90% of the year doing test/procedures and medical visits. How is that living?
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:58 pm to Will Cover
Will, this is mr h from the batcave… love ya bud, hope all is well despite this situation 
Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:04 pm to Will Cover
Be patient. More challenging times are coming. Do what you can to handle things like bill paying and other responsibilities. If you can arrange to handle errands and getting them to doctor's appointments, do so to help keep them off the road. If it comes to it, a doctor can help. Understand that they are doing the best they can.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Popular
Back to top


0










