re: A Horrible Question To Face: Did I Marry The Wrong Person?

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I now wonder if I missed the girl that I was meant to marry

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The odds of running into your soul mate are incredibly small. The number of strangers we make eye contact with each day is hard to estimate. It can vary from almost none (shut-ins or people in small towns) to many thousands (a police officer in Times Square). Let’s suppose you lock eyes with an average of a few dozen new strangers each day. (I’m pretty introverted, so for me that’s definitely a generous estimate.) If 10% of them are close to your age, that’s around 50,000 people in a lifetime. Given that you have 500,000,000 potential soul mates, it means you’ll only find true love in one lifetime out of ten thousand.

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- Randall Munroe

Also -


Ana Ng
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular
To the name of this town in a desk-top globe
Exit wound in a foreign nation
Showing the home of the one this was written for
My apartment looks upside down from there
Water spirals the wrong way out the sink
And her voice is a backwards record
It's like a whirlpool and it never ends

Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each others majestic presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me for you

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Any of us could make marriages work with a million different people. Might someone else be a better fit? Yes. But it doesn't mean the person you're married to is the wrong one. You suck it up and try to be content if it's not miserable. It doesn't matter who you marry: sometimes, it'll be boring, stressful, etc.

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Agree, except I'm not sure there are all that many compatible partners.

well I am married and I am exhibit A


I turned exhibit A down because she was orthodox in the sense of being in the box.
Owned by the parental diety, and her dad and all of authority.
Jewish like me. She and her dad rejected a translation I did from Hebrew to English which challenges the very core of such statements as Martin Buber's book I/Thou.
it was the crux of my understanding of reality and in the Jewish tradition of scholarship. they could not even consider it. it was obviously not the official dogma and therefore could not be entertained.

I think sometimes I should have married her and thought what I wanted to.


since you never married, I will share the equipment that will make your journey easier and better

1. CNVC website of a negotiator. center for non-violent communication.
it can give you a structure to open communication when times are tough, or just to make sure your side of things is understood. People new to relationships often stifle themselves to keep the peace. learn to say your piece without targeting your intimate partner.

2. the Revelation of Prior Unity (my rejected translation stated that there is only God. no God apart. no parental diety. just God as all.

The teacher of prior unity.

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The One Who Would Awaken You
I am not merely on one "tribal" side or another.
I Transcend all — and I Include all.
My Divine Avataric Revelation-Teaching is Offered to everyone — as Universal and Unique Wisdom That Cuts Through the limitations in everyone, without selectivity.
I cannot be compartmentalized as a Westerner, or as an Easterner, or as a Hindu, or as a non-Hindu, or as a Buddhist, or as a non-Buddhist, or as a Christian, or as a non-Christian, or as a "whatever".
I Am the Divine Avatar — Transcending both East and West.
I Am the Truth of Reality Itself.
I Stand Prior to all-and-All — and I Transcend all-and-All.
— Avatar Adi Da Samraj
The Aletheon

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the aletheon

LINK /

Well, judging by the divorce rate, 50% of all marrieds married the wrong person.

So you can get a divorce or do like I did: negotiate an open marriage. Either way, problem solved.

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Yet I have been in relationships where I now wonder if I missed the girl that I was meant to marry. I have no way of knowing for sure. I suppose it comes down to faith? Chance? I know people that are in committed relationships yet still carry a flame for someone else. Some are even married. Such a situation has to be tortuous. I suppose you bury it deep down or perhaps you shrug and settle for the next best thing.

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Don't let that thought pass through your head. Even if it's true, how does it help you? Do you have a time machine to tell your past self exactly what to do to keep her? That thought is merely self destructive and will lead you down a road of massive depression. It does you no good to dwell on it.

Turn off lifetime dude....ette.

You aren't "meant to marry" any one person.

There are no such thing as soulmates.

You find people that you want to be with and you grow your relationship through shared experiences.

Sometimes it lasts. Sometimes it doesn't.