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re: A good buddy called me asking for money yesterday. Update 6/12

Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:34 am to
Posted by Slickback
Deer Stand
Member since Mar 2008
27685 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:34 am to
Sure I’ll lend you some cash. By the way, do you still have that side by side? I got a camping trip coming up in a week or so, you mind if I borrow it?
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83583 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to
quote:

If a buddy called me asking for money and had two boats I would tell him the exact same thing. There’s a reason he is in this situation


"Look man, I'll help you out this time because I trust you will pay me back, but after this, you may need look at selling some assets. This is a one time thing."

Posted by Jaydeaux
Covington
Member since May 2005
18759 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to
Bro, dont listen to the noise you were a great friend in this case
Posted by SeeeeK
some where
Member since Sep 2012
28066 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to
Having a 1500. Truck is impressive? It's the base, bottom. Level truck
Posted by ibldprplgld
Member since Feb 2008
25010 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to
I agree with your approach. Americans have a spending addiction, but don’t want to face reality when the chickens come home to roost.

He’s no friend if he expects you to give him money without him making changes. Good money after bad and all…
Posted by LittleJerrySeinfield
350,000 Post Karma
Member since Aug 2013
7709 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:37 am to
quote:

Cosmo


Dude. That was a private conversation.
Posted by Jyrdis
TD Premium Member Level III
Member since Aug 2015
12800 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:37 am to
quote:

I also can fathom, as a friend, telling them that they would have to sell shite before I considered helping them out,


I can because that same person who doesn’t know what changes they’ll make, likely won’t make any changes and be right back to asking for more money.
Posted by Putty
Member since Oct 2003
25486 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:37 am to
quote:

Hope I didn't lose a friend.


Your response is the only way to avoid losing a friend with 100% certainty. If he was willing to take your money and burn it on luxuries, perhaps he wasn't that great of a friend. If he took your money and made no lifestyle changes, he'd be no better off and you'd likely be out what you "lent." You gave him good advice...if he takes it to heart he may come out the other side o.k. and respect/love you for it. If he doesn't, losing him as a friend is inevitable and its just a matter of timing.
Posted by Saskwatch
Member since Feb 2016
16571 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to
quote:

Hope I didnt lose a friend.


If my friend can't sell off two boats and a side by side before asking me for money then he isn't a friend I want.
Posted by Crowknowsbest
Member since May 2012
25878 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to
Your response is as reasonable as your friend could hope for imo. Unless he has some big promotion coming soon, this will be a repeated request unless there are lifestyle changes.
Posted by LSUtwolves
Member since Jun 2016
871 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to
quote:

You should have lent him the cash if you trust and love him and believe he will pay you back. No to any of those and it’s a hard no.


You only loan money to friends and family that you don't expect to get back and you're okay with not getting it back.

It's a gift in your mind, that if it gets paid back, cool, if not, so what.

never loan money to friends and family if you need the money back. that's a good way to burn relationships
Posted by stout
Smoking Crack with Hunter Biden
Member since Sep 2006
167294 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to
quote:

He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.



There's nothing more aggravating than having someone that owes you money yet when you look at their Facebook and they are traveling, buying shite, eating out, etc
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
422585 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to
quote:

I could tell it hurt him to call. I asked him what lifestyle changes is he making. He basically said nothing yet, just gotta get through this stretch. I said I would only consider helping him if he helps himself first and shows me he is cutting back, selling some stuff. He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something. Calms down and we just kinda end it. Hope I didnt lose a friend.


He needs to watch some Financial Audit or Till Debt Do Us Part videos on the 'tube
Posted by Cosmo
glassman's guest house
Member since Oct 2003
120303 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:39 am to
quote:

Having a 1500. Truck is impressive? It's the base, bottom. Level truck


They are 70k these days
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
422585 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:39 am to
quote:

Usually you ask family first.

I'll bet 100 SFP bucks that he's already hit up all the family that will loan him money.
Posted by Techdog89
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2016
874 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:40 am to
Your friend has an obvious problem of maintaining a lifestyle he cannot afford. That is a big problem that takes big life changes to correct and a real humbling of his priorities in life. His toys may have not be paid for either. He may have notes on them and be upside down on them. Selling them may still leave him in debt to the lender. He could surrender the toys to the lender if this is the case and work out some sort of payback of the balance. It happens. As his friend, I would consider the amount he wants to "borrow". If it is a few hundred then I would not loan it to him. I would gift it to him, "bless" him with the money. Then there is no expectation of repayment and you remain a good friend to him. If it's thousands then I would explain that you cannot afford to do that and you would be happy to help him sort out some other choices he could make. That might be your opportunity to help him understand what's really necessary going forard. I mean if he has all of these toys, he must be insuring them too, right? All of that, with maintenance and upkeep gets really expensive really fast. If he is looking to you as another form of an ATM then you're not really his friend. You're just a source of cash. You'll also know this if blessing him once turns into another request for money and he hasn't made any changes to his lifestyle. I know this is long but this is not an easy situation if he is really your friend. Best of luck but you may still lose a friend no matter how kind you are.
Posted by TideHater
Orange Beach AL
Member since May 2007
19706 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:40 am to
quote:

Hope I didnt lose a friend.



You did. If you truly thought of him as a friend, you would have helped him out. Instead, you come here looking to clear your mind....you should contact him and take him what he needs.
Posted by stout
Smoking Crack with Hunter Biden
Member since Sep 2006
167294 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:41 am to
quote:

If you truly thought of him as a friend, you would have helped him out.


He offered to help if the friend made changes. That's not unreasonable.

This post was edited on 5/26/23 at 8:42 am
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:41 am to
quote:

They are 70k these days



have you considered banging his wife as a side piece for use as a collateral?
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68301 posts
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:41 am to
You're correct. I can't imagine asking for money and not having first sold off the toys and downsized the vehicles.
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