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Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to Ed Osteen
quote:
If a buddy called me asking for money and had two boats I would tell him the exact same thing. There’s a reason he is in this situation
"Look man, I'll help you out this time because I trust you will pay me back, but after this, you may need look at selling some assets. This is a one time thing."
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to Cosmo
Bro, dont listen to the noise you were a great friend in this case
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to Cosmo
Having a 1500. Truck is impressive? It's the base, bottom. Level truck
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:36 am to Cosmo
I agree with your approach. Americans have a spending addiction, but don’t want to face reality when the chickens come home to roost.
He’s no friend if he expects you to give him money without him making changes. Good money after bad and all…
He’s no friend if he expects you to give him money without him making changes. Good money after bad and all…
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:37 am to Cosmo
quote:
Cosmo
Dude. That was a private conversation.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:37 am to Salmon
quote:
I also can fathom, as a friend, telling them that they would have to sell shite before I considered helping them out,
I can because that same person who doesn’t know what changes they’ll make, likely won’t make any changes and be right back to asking for more money.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:37 am to Cosmo
quote:
Hope I didn't lose a friend.
Your response is the only way to avoid losing a friend with 100% certainty. If he was willing to take your money and burn it on luxuries, perhaps he wasn't that great of a friend. If he took your money and made no lifestyle changes, he'd be no better off and you'd likely be out what you "lent." You gave him good advice...if he takes it to heart he may come out the other side o.k. and respect/love you for it. If he doesn't, losing him as a friend is inevitable and its just a matter of timing.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to Cosmo
quote:
Hope I didnt lose a friend.
If my friend can't sell off two boats and a side by side before asking me for money then he isn't a friend I want.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to Cosmo
Your response is as reasonable as your friend could hope for imo. Unless he has some big promotion coming soon, this will be a repeated request unless there are lifestyle changes.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to Lsupimp
quote:
You should have lent him the cash if you trust and love him and believe he will pay you back. No to any of those and it’s a hard no.
You only loan money to friends and family that you don't expect to get back and you're okay with not getting it back.
It's a gift in your mind, that if it gets paid back, cool, if not, so what.
never loan money to friends and family if you need the money back. that's a good way to burn relationships
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to Cosmo
quote:
He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.
There's nothing more aggravating than having someone that owes you money yet when you look at their Facebook and they are traveling, buying shite, eating out, etc
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:38 am to Cosmo
quote:
I could tell it hurt him to call. I asked him what lifestyle changes is he making. He basically said nothing yet, just gotta get through this stretch. I said I would only consider helping him if he helps himself first and shows me he is cutting back, selling some stuff. He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something. Calms down and we just kinda end it. Hope I didnt lose a friend.
He needs to watch some Financial Audit or Till Debt Do Us Part videos on the 'tube
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:39 am to SeeeeK
quote:
Having a 1500. Truck is impressive? It's the base, bottom. Level truck
They are 70k these days
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:39 am to Ralph_Wiggum
quote:
Usually you ask family first.
I'll bet 100 SFP bucks that he's already hit up all the family that will loan him money.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:40 am to Cosmo
Your friend has an obvious problem of maintaining a lifestyle he cannot afford. That is a big problem that takes big life changes to correct and a real humbling of his priorities in life. His toys may have not be paid for either. He may have notes on them and be upside down on them. Selling them may still leave him in debt to the lender. He could surrender the toys to the lender if this is the case and work out some sort of payback of the balance. It happens. As his friend, I would consider the amount he wants to "borrow". If it is a few hundred then I would not loan it to him. I would gift it to him, "bless" him with the money. Then there is no expectation of repayment and you remain a good friend to him. If it's thousands then I would explain that you cannot afford to do that and you would be happy to help him sort out some other choices he could make. That might be your opportunity to help him understand what's really necessary going forard. I mean if he has all of these toys, he must be insuring them too, right? All of that, with maintenance and upkeep gets really expensive really fast. If he is looking to you as another form of an ATM then you're not really his friend. You're just a source of cash. You'll also know this if blessing him once turns into another request for money and he hasn't made any changes to his lifestyle. I know this is long but this is not an easy situation if he is really your friend. Best of luck but you may still lose a friend no matter how kind you are. 
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:40 am to Cosmo
quote:
Hope I didnt lose a friend.
You did. If you truly thought of him as a friend, you would have helped him out. Instead, you come here looking to clear your mind....you should contact him and take him what he needs.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:41 am to TideHater
quote:
If you truly thought of him as a friend, you would have helped him out.
He offered to help if the friend made changes. That's not unreasonable.
This post was edited on 5/26/23 at 8:42 am
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:41 am to Cosmo
quote:
They are 70k these days
have you considered banging his wife as a side piece for use as a collateral?
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:41 am to Cosmo
You're correct. I can't imagine asking for money and not having first sold off the toys and downsized the vehicles.
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