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re: A good buddy called me asking for money yesterday. Update 6/12
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:27 am to Cosmo
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:27 am to Cosmo
I know a few people like this, the issue is they're typically so upside down in the cars/boats/ATVs/toys that they can't even get out from under them to relieve themselves. If they bought all those things within the last 2 year I'd imagine they're upside down on damn near all of it.
I reckon there's about to be a whole lot of people in a similar pinch, paying $100k for a $70k truck that's now worth $50k was a bad idea.
I reckon there's about to be a whole lot of people in a similar pinch, paying $100k for a $70k truck that's now worth $50k was a bad idea.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:28 am to Cosmo
You handled that as well as you could have. Getting money from you won’t fix that actual problem of overspending his income.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:29 am to Cosmo
The circumstances of how long and why he needs the money are important. If he needs emergency money to make it to the next paycheck or two because of a liquid cash issue and you didn’t give it to him, that’s messed up.
If he’s looking for a long term indefinite loan, no go.
If he’s looking for a long term indefinite loan, no go.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:29 am to Cosmo
quote:
It sucks because I think its coming for a lot of people in that income range.
Gonna see this more and more soon.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:29 am to Cosmo
Depending on the amount, just let him use one of his boats for collateral. He doesn't pay you back, keep the boat.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:30 am to BR92
quote:
I mean are we talking a couple of hundred dollars or a lot more ?
Didnt ask the actual amount. But he mentioned homeowners premium and a 6 month car premium so 3-4k Id guess
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:30 am to Cosmo
quote:
he needs to show lifestyle changes
this is a shitty situation, I've offered to test for compatibility for a kidney for a friend that needs one, and a bone marrow match for the daughter of a friend, and I'll gladly do it, seems this dude just wants you to help finance his lifestyle
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:31 am to Cosmo
i would hate to get that call. you know he had a lot of pride to swallow before making that call.
having said that....I would give a hard no to that request. at least at first. he would have to make what sounds like a long list of life changes before loaning him money.
he HAS money, just makes bad decisions with the money he has. you loaning him money will not change those decisions. Timing is funny to me because I explained to my daughter just yesterday what "keeping up with the Jones's" means. and how that can lead to bad financial situations.
the part that makes this difficult IMHO is that the kids and their activities sound like they will be a part of the cuts. however, your buddy and his wife can hide that from the kids by making time of their own to do different activities.
Good luck to your buddy. and real friends are 100% honest with those friends knowing well that most people do not like honesty.
having said that....I would give a hard no to that request. at least at first. he would have to make what sounds like a long list of life changes before loaning him money.
he HAS money, just makes bad decisions with the money he has. you loaning him money will not change those decisions. Timing is funny to me because I explained to my daughter just yesterday what "keeping up with the Jones's" means. and how that can lead to bad financial situations.
the part that makes this difficult IMHO is that the kids and their activities sound like they will be a part of the cuts. however, your buddy and his wife can hide that from the kids by making time of their own to do different activities.
Good luck to your buddy. and real friends are 100% honest with those friends knowing well that most people do not like honesty.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:31 am to VernonPLSUfan
quote:
Depending on the amount, just let him use one of his boats for collateral. He doesn't pay you back, keep the boat.
That's not a terrible idea.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:32 am to Cosmo
I understand your point to provide some coaching to your friend on reasonable and practical steps to take but I don’t think he was looking for that. You may not agree with his lifestyle choices but tough to change those at this point. He trusts and respects you enough to ask which says a lot. If you have it and can do it then don’t expect to be paid back just consider it a gift. If he pays you back great but money isn’t worth losing a friendship over.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:32 am to Cosmo
Only give them money if you can consider it a gift, not a loan.
If the friend were creditworthy he would have already gotten money from a bank or loan company.
A similar scenario happened with a family member. They gave a longtime friend with a lavish lifestyle a big "loan" and it was never repaid.
It made things awkward for both families and put a real damper on the friendship.
If the friend were creditworthy he would have already gotten money from a bank or loan company.
A similar scenario happened with a family member. They gave a longtime friend with a lavish lifestyle a big "loan" and it was never repaid.
It made things awkward for both families and put a real damper on the friendship.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:32 am to Ralph_Wiggum
quote:
Usually you ask family first.
Not always. I seemed to be the money-lender for people who made mistakes, while I was making a cool $39K/year, post-college. I respectfully asked for the money back (interest free) when I saw them out at bars. Installments were fine. It wasn't really about the money, just don't flaunt your spending in my face when I just gave you $2K.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:32 am to Cosmo
quote:
I asked him what lifestyle changes is he making. He basically said nothing yet
I would've ended the call right then and there.
There are LOTS of things you listed in this post alone that could go before they ask friends to borrow money. Also, this:
quote:
He basically said nothing yet, just gotta get through this stretch.
..sounds like a gambler's mentality. That attitude alone tells you that nothing is going to change.
If you help him out, good on you. But I hope you realize that a) you'll never see that money again, and b) this won't be the last time he hits you up for it.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:32 am to Cosmo
I wouldn’t be friends with someone who lives like that.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:32 am to Cosmo
quote:
Love the guy and his wife but will admit they are the classic 80-90k millionaires that the OT talks about. He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time
That’s a lot of meat on the bone right there. I quit restaurant dining and get rid of the boat and side by sides before I make that call.
This post was edited on 5/26/23 at 8:56 am
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:33 am to Salmon
quote:
I also can fathom, as a friend, telling them that they would have to sell shite before I considered helping them out, especially if it was a first time thing and I was confident they would pay me back.
If a buddy called me asking for money and had two boats I would tell him the exact same thing. There’s a reason he is in this situation
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:34 am to Cosmo
Banks and Credit unions lend money- Not friends.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:34 am to Honest Tune
quote:
That’s a lot of meat on the bone right there. I quit restaurant dining and Sell the boat and side by sides before I make that call.
or start banging his wife until the money is repaid

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