re: 1st time flying need advice. Have any of y'all ever flown before? and......

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Assuming you are an adult, how is this possible?

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Im an Ostrich. We don't fly.

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My mother is 88 and never flown before. Been all over the country in her lifetime.

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My MIL is like 67 and has never flown. She's absolutely terrified of it.

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When they turn the seatbelt light off you are free to masturbate

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”You are now free to cum about the cabin.”
-Southwest Airlines

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My MIL is like 67 and has never flown. She's absolutely terrified of it.

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My mom has serious claustrophobia. I do, to an extent, too. But not like her. She doesn't even like to try to retrieve items from under a bed, if it involves putting any of her body under the bed.

if the wings start to oscillate up and down in light turbulence, you are on an aircraft that is slated for a recall. Try to avoid heavy turbulence or the wings may snap. But only a 43% chance of them snapping.

In the song Ironic by Alanis Morrisette, the example of the guy who waited his whole damn life and was afraid to fly, was the only example that really explains things that are "ironic".
Rain on a wedding day is not, free ride when you've already paid is just dumb, winning the lottery and dying the next day is just bad luck, plus his estate gets the money, not taking good advice is dumb, not ironic,

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You are now free to cum about the cabin.”
-Southwest Airlines

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Probably better suited for Spirit Airlines

Ya got more balls than me... I AINT getting on a plane !!!

All the time.

Worst thing happened to my SO though, she was flying into new Orleans, in the process of decent, the entire plane lost power. it was at night and she said it felt like immediately they were falling. The stewardess were freaking out, the drinks and carts were bouncing and moving around. Then, all of a sudden the power came back on and things leveled out.

I was waiting there and remember thinking everyone looked visibly shaken as they were coming through the gate.

I was on a plane 3 days ago, had to sit next to an Asian guy who spilled his drink all over himself.

Bring a fresh bag of McDonald's with extra onions on the flight. You're likely to get hungry and the in flight food options aren't good. Bring your dog to help your anxiety. Just put a service dog vest on it and you'll be fine. Take off your shoes and socks once you reach cruising altitude to maintain good circulation. Relax by watching hardcore porn on your laptop.