New Orleans Pelicans vs. AD vs. Memphis Grizzlies: An Open Letter to AD

AD,

FOR 7 frickING YEARS I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE THE frickING TRUTH. I REMEMBER WHERE I WAS WHEN WE WON THE LOTTERY. I REMEMBER WHEN YOU FINALLY BROKE THROUGH AND GOT TO THE PLAYOFFS AND MADE DRAYMOND GREEN YOUR frickING BITCH. WE GOT SWEPT BUT WE MADE THE CHAMPS FIGHT FOR FOUR GAMES. I THOUGHT OUR TIME WAS NEAR.

THEN, THE PELS HIRED ALVIN GENTRY. THE PELS frickED UP AND SIGNED AJINCA AND ASIK AND HILL. THE PELS BROUGHT JRUE BACK TOO FAST, MISDIAGNOSED QPON AND REKE GOT HURT TOO. shite WENT TO HELL REALLY QUICK.

THEN WE DRAFTED BUDDY. I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE A GOOD PIECE, I STAYED PATIENT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD CONTINUE TO GET BETTER. YOU WEREN'T IN YOUR PRIME. WE HAD TIME.

AND THEN WE TRADED FOR COUSINS. PELS TALK WAS LIT AS frick THAT NIGHT. I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA GO AHEAD AND frick AROUND AND GET A CHANCE AT THE frickING CHAMPIONSHIP. WE DIDN'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS THAT YEAR, BUT WE HAD THE FULL OFFSEASON TO WORK COUSINS IN. I WAS READY.

LAST SEASON WE LOOKED REALLY frickING GOOD BEFORE THE ASB. WE WERE TAKING REALLY GOOD TEAMS DOWN TO THE WIRE AND WE STARTED PUNISHING TEAMS INTO SUBMISSION. 7 OUT OF 8. WE WERE BEATING THE frick OUT OF THE ROX AND THOSE ASSHOLES HADN'T LOST A GAME IN A FEW WEEKS. THEN YOUR BOY COUSINS LET CHRIS GODDAMN frickING a-hole PAUL GET IN HIS HEAD AND WE KNOW THE REST. TORN ACHILLES. LITERALLY A FRANCHISE ALTERING INJURY.

I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT WITH SIMILAR PLAYOFF SUCCESS AND NO ACHILLES INJURY BOOGIE IS ON THIS frickING TEAM AND THIS LETTER NEVER GETS WRITTEN. I DIGRESS...


THE OFFSEASON WAS STRAIGHT a-hole. YOU SIGNED WITH LEBRON'S BITCHBOY. YOU LET A RAPIST TALK YOU INTO THE LA LIFESTYLE. NOW YOU WANT OUT.

I'M PISSED. YOU DIDN'T LEAD. YOU DIDN'T WIN. IT'S NOT ALL ON THE PELS. YOU WERE PASSIVE WHEN WE NEEDED YOU TO BE AGGRESSIVE. YOU AREN'T A frickING LEADER. LEADERS TELL, THEY DON'T GET TOLD. YOU'RE A frickING SHEEP MAN. I'M SO DISAPPOINTED. YOU frickING LET US ALL DOWN. IF ITS YOUR frickING TIME THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN WINNING? WHERE IS YOUR frickING SPINE MAN?

IT'S BECAUSE YOUR frickING SOFT. GODDAMMIT I DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT BUT YOU'RE SOFT AS BABY shite. TEAMS AREN'T WINNING TITLES WITH YOU AS A CENTERPIECE, AT LEAST NOT THIS VERSION OF YOU.

I HOPE YOU LEARNED SOME FORM OF ACCOUNTABILITY THROUGH ALL OF THIS, BECAUSE I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO FULLY BECOME JRUE'S TEAM.

YOU'RE WEAK. PEACE OUT BITCH.

OH YEAH

PELS W GRIZZ L. I HOPE WE HAVE A BETTER RECORD THAN THE LAKERS AT THE END OF THE SEASON, BECAUSE frick YOU.