re: Gerwig's Narnia isn't "your mom or grandmas Narnia" & features a lot of contemporary music

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Kendrick Lamar finna blast the theater speakers

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I can for sure see the White Witch singing/rapping "They Not Like Us" in defiance of Aslan and Co.

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Meryl Streep was in line to voice Aslan - the character specifically written as the Jesus of Narnia


So... OK to make Jesus an animal, but God forbid a female

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You seem stupid. The metaphor is plucked straight from the Bible. This is arguably the most relevant Biblical fantasy somewhat still in the western public consciousness authored by arguably the most important Christian author from the 20th century.

If you can understand many Muslims will straight up murder you for drawing Muhammad? Then you can at least pretend to be respectful when Christians say angry things when you change their carefully chosen Biblical metaphors.

In a less tolerant time it would have merited burning at the stake or torture.

Lemme break it down for ya:

Four neurodivergent, homeschooled British siblings of varying gender identities and non-caucasoid races stumble through a rainbow-colored wardrobe into the sovereign indigenous realm of Narnia which is currently experiencing a 100-year climate collapse. The climate emergency is happening because of the White Witch’s greenhouse-gases-causing magic.

Guided by a non-hierarchical collective of talking animals and a resurrected Aslan, who now identifies as a genderqueer lioness named Ash (zi/they) and offers trigger warnings before roaring, the children stridently fight to dismantle the land's systemic oppression and establish a restorative-justice intervention circle for Edmund’s compulsory heteronormativity and internalized colonialism.

Susan keeps her lipstick, starts a body-positivity movement, and is never exiled for daring to have sexuality because she finally comes to accept her fictosexuality.

The Pevensies ultimately surrender their crowns in a solemn decolonization ceremony, issue reparations, and return home to smash the wardrobe so no more white colonizers like the White Witch (where do you think she came from) can invade. Narnia becomes a demilitarized, carbon-negative queer utopia.

The end.

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SlowFlowPro

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We're talking past each other.

It's simple, they are making this to crap on christians, crap on Christian thought and theology, subvert expectations and all of the good stuff. Of course, they think it will make money hence the investment.

You say "Narnia isn't relevant enough for them to do that for young people," but they are literally doing it, so apparently it is.

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You say "Narnia isn't relevant enough for them to do that for young people," but they are literally doing it, so apparently it is.

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They can be doing it for infinite-1 reasons, though.

You're marking an argument and conflating it into an auto-conclusion.

Just because they're making it doesn't confirm your argument correct.

I could argue, "They are making this to honor Christianity, because if they weren't, why would they be making it?" with the same rhetoric you're using.

You're ignoring the history of Hollywood and Gershwig, especially clear recent history that as a director and the producer clearly there is precedent

But ignore the facts that you don't mention first because of course we all know that any facts that you failed to mention yourself
you ignore

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They can be doing it for infinite-1 reasons, though.

You're marking an argument and conflating it into an auto-conclusion.

Just because they're making it doesn't confirm your argument correct.

I could argue, "They are making this to honor Christianity, because if they weren't, why would they be making it?" with the same rhetoric you're using.

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Sure, of course I don't have proof that they are making it for that reason.

But come on, we all know what modern Hollywood. We all why "the force is female" is a thing, we all know why Ray was an incredible force user from day 1. We all know why the Barbie story is what it is, why the SIlver Surfer is a woman, why Snow White was multicultural, Ariel, Indiana Jones and on and on and on.

You're acting like this is the first time they've done this. And they chose reta Gerwig, literally based on how she constructed a film about the classic female icon and subverted expectations. What do you think her goal is here? To celebrate Christianity and Christian thought?

Now, the difference here is that Barbie, while it was an explicitly feminine ideal meant to show and symbolize something very specific, had already been "changed" a couple of decades ago. It was already a shell of what it stood for.


Narnia is not that thing. It is still to this day a very explicitly Christian piece of work. Through and through. That's a huge problem.

Again slo didn't think of it first so he'll never concede this obvious point

I want to know who thought it WOULDN'T be this way? When is it ever NOT "modernized"? If you actually believed they'd stay true to the book then you should be wearing a helmet 24/7.

REPENT!!