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Did anyone watch the roast of Justin beiber?
Posted on 3/16/15 at 6:37 am
Posted on 3/16/15 at 6:37 am
I was looking up some quotes from the show to see what I missed. Let me know if you heard a good one not on here.
A couple of beiber' responses:
Guest Comedians roasting other guest comedians:
quote:
Hannibal Buress: “Justin, I don’t like your music. I think it’s bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy.”
“You gotta give it up for Justin. He started from the bottom and he’s still a bottom.”
quote:
Ludacris: “You act so much like a pussy, Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.”
quote:
Jeff Ross: “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?”
“Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”
“If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz.”
quote:
Kevin Hart: “Justin has fans in middle school or staying 500 feet away from one.”
quote:
Chris D’Elia: “Justin Bieber, the man. Why are you here? … You are about to get fricked harder than Orlando Bloom fricked Selena Gomez.”
quote:
Martha Stewart: “The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”
A couple of beiber' responses:
quote:
“Look, I’m new to comedy, but here’s a joke: What do you get when you given a teenager $200 million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.” “Martha, thanks for coming. I know that’s something you probably don’t do much of anymore.”
Guest Comedians roasting other guest comedians:
quote:
Snoop Dogg: “Congratulations Hannibal Buress, you are the only Bill Cosby accuser making money off of him.”
quote:
Pete Davidson: “Martha is so old, her first period was the Renaissance.”
“Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He’s only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences … that Hannibal Buress would become famous.”
8
Posted on 3/16/15 at 6:45 am to RBWilliams8
Don't think it's been broadcast yet.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 6:50 am to RBWilliams8
quote:
“If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz.”
Damn that's fricked up.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 6:54 am to RBWilliams8
quote:
"Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He’s only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences … that Hannibal Buress would become famous.”
A lot of funny lines in the OP but this is one of my favorites for some reason. I heard the Beib's handled it like a champ. And didn't Ludacris or Hart call him out for doing this to salvage his image?
Posted on 3/16/15 at 7:17 am to RBWilliams8
Airs March 30th
Posted on 3/16/15 at 7:22 am to 4WHLN
When I get rich I am going to do a roast for my birthday.
And Jeff Ross will host.
Because he's awesome.
And Jeff Ross will host.
Because he's awesome.
This post was edited on 3/16/15 at 7:24 am
Posted on 3/16/15 at 7:51 am to RBWilliams8
quote:
“Look, I’m new to comedy, but here’s a joke: What do you get when you given a teenager $200 million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
This one got me
Posted on 3/16/15 at 7:54 am to 4WHLN
Anyone know why CC airs the roasts so long after taping? Seems stupid to let material leak out over that period.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 7:57 am to RBWilliams8
Jeff Ross has shown that his entire career was lies. He should have refused to do this.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 8:43 am to cjared036
quote:
And Jeff Ross will host.
Because he's awesome.
Maybe I am in the minority, but I've always thought Jeff Ross was horrible. He's not terribly funny, and he always seems like he's trying WAY too hard.
And those commercials I've seen lately for this roast with Ross in drag hanging all over Beiber have only furthered my Jeff Ross hate.
I have to admit, this is pretty funny though:
quote:
“Look, I’m new to comedy, but here’s a joke: What do you get when you given a teenager $200 million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
And that list of people in the OP doing this roast seems pretty fricking random. Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, Martha Stewart, Ludacris, Pete Davidson, Hannibal Burress? Really random grouping.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 8:49 am to CocomoLSU
anyone remember a time when you actually had to be someone to get roasted. it seems like nowadays, all you have to be is someone in perpetual trouble and you get a roast.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 9:09 am to 4WHLN
I'll probably watch it.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 9:11 am to CocomoLSU
Did JB come up with that joke or does he have a writing team give him material?
Posted on 3/16/15 at 9:26 am to WG_Dawg
I don't know, but I have to assume he had writers.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 9:27 am to WG_Dawg
quote:
Did JB come up with that joke or does he have a writing team give him material?
Everyone who gets roasted has writers come up with their jokes.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 9:32 am to Mystery
I remember when mike 'the situation' declined the use of writers and penned his own jokes. Never again.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 10:05 am to Mystery
i'm glad Hannibal did one of these before he becomes way too big to do one of these.
yes, and many of the comics too. jesse joyce is a comic who writes a pretty big percentage of the jokes for both comics and roastees.
edit: it blew my mind that he wrote some jokes for giraldo back in the day, bc in my mind, no one was better at the CC roasts than GG.
quote:
Everyone who gets roasted has writers come up with their jokes.
yes, and many of the comics too. jesse joyce is a comic who writes a pretty big percentage of the jokes for both comics and roastees.
edit: it blew my mind that he wrote some jokes for giraldo back in the day, bc in my mind, no one was better at the CC roasts than GG.
This post was edited on 3/16/15 at 10:06 am
Posted on 3/16/15 at 10:05 am to REG861
quote:
Jeff Ross has shown that his entire career was lies. He should have refused to do this.
Im kinda disappointed that he didnt refuse it myself. This roast was for hacks who dont get invited to real roasts that are relevant. But with that said, I wouldve loved to see Giraldo rip JB apart(if he was living lol).
This post was edited on 3/16/15 at 10:12 am
Posted on 3/16/15 at 10:08 am to TDTGodfather
To be fair anyone think Jeff Ross cared who Flava Falv was? He took the money and killed it. He didn't "love" flava.
Posted on 3/16/15 at 10:09 am to Tommy Wayne
my own post made me womder who he's (joyce) actually written for and found this on wikipedia:
quote:
Joyce was Giraldo’s opening act and writing partner until Giraldo’s death in 2010. Together they wrote scripts for the many roasts which Giraldo performed, on including the Comedy Central Roasts of Flavor Flav, Bob Saget, Larry The Cable Guy, Joan Rivers, and David Hasselhoff and the TBS Celebrity Roast of Cheech and Chong.[6] At the time of Giraldo’s death, the pair had begun working on the Cringe Humor Roast of Jim Florentine, which Joyce performed in his place.[7] He was then hired onto the staff for the Comedy Central Roasts of Donald Trump, Charlie Sheen,[8] Roseanne[9] and James Franco[10] where he met and wrote for Seth MacFarlane. MacFarlane hired Joyce to write for him when he hosted the 85th Academy Awards.[11]
Joyce was a staff writer for the first two seasons of The Burn with Jeff Ross on Comedy Central . In addition to Giraldo, MacFarlane, and Ross, Joyce has also written jokes for Dave Attell, Jim Norton, Jeff Dunham, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and the Today Show’s Matt Lauer.
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