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Parent(s) with no retirement savings
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:12 pm
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:12 pm
I am sure plenty of you are in this boat and the recent SS talk just got me concerned...
What do I do? My single mother is in her early 50's and has very very littIe savings or equity in her home. I have (gladly) accepted the fact that she will be living with me one day.... But I guess she has some years left to build up some savings. How do you even start to save that late in life?
What do I do? My single mother is in her early 50's and has very very littIe savings or equity in her home. I have (gladly) accepted the fact that she will be living with me one day.... But I guess she has some years left to build up some savings. How do you even start to save that late in life?
7
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:18 pm to CalcuttaTigah
quote:
How do you even start to save that late in life?
What is her monthly income? What are her monthly expenses?
Is she working full-time? Can she pick up another job?
quote:
I have (gladly) accepted the fact that she will be living with me one day
While I think it is great that you are looking forward to your mother living with you one day, don't underestimate the time, money and resources you may have to invest back in her (think home health care, personal sitter, etc.).
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:25 pm to Will Cover
She works two jobs and makes pretty decent money but never seems to be able to save and has emptied her 401k on more than one occasion. She could always do better saving, I guess my question should have focused on what kind of investing/saving should she be doing? I am sure her employer matches her 401k contributions, just difficult to ask her these questions because it's tough to talk about.
Yea, I know those costs are my biggest concern... health care costs are gonna be big
Yea, I know those costs are my biggest concern... health care costs are gonna be big
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:25 pm to Will Cover
Yeah, I'd be very depressed if I had already resigned myself to the fact that my mom would have to live with me.
I'm with WC, try and see if you can help her start throwing tons of cash into her IRA/401(k)
I'm with WC, try and see if you can help her start throwing tons of cash into her IRA/401(k)
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:41 pm to CalcuttaTigah
Tough situation.
I would look into an HSA for her. Her major expenses later in life will be medical related, most likely.
I would look into an HSA for her. Her major expenses later in life will be medical related, most likely.
Posted on 2/28/12 at 11:45 pm to The Easter Bunny
quote:Suboptimal situation to put it mildly.
Yeah, I'd be very depressed if I had already resigned myself to the fact that my mom would have to live with me.
I'm with WC, try and see if you can help her start throwing tons of cash into her IRA/401(k)
Getaway vacations, privacy, etc are challenging and become relationship strains.
So here's the question:
How will her spending habits change when under your roof?
Ask that first to yourself and family, then to her. If she claims she will scale back later, why not do it now?
If she won't scale back, what will the fiscal impact be to you?
Posted on 2/29/12 at 12:04 am to CalcuttaTigah
quote:
I am sure plenty of you are in this boat and the recent SS talk just got me concerned...
What do I do? My single mother is in her early 50's and has very very littIe savings or equity in her home. I have (gladly) accepted the fact that she will be living with me one day.... But I guess she has some years left to build up some savings. How do you even start to save that late in life?
This is a tough spot. I think this will happen to some of my family members with my grandparents. It is a shame you are never taught how to save in middle and high school. It is kind of like NBA players when the money runs out except this happens with smaller amounts over a longer period of time. It is hard to have to tell someone to live within your means but if it is going to affect you then maybe you have grounds to have a heart to heart and possibly seek the advice of a professional.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 5:06 am to Bigsike
I'd tell her get out there and start dating. Hopefully she can find herself a man with some $$ who can take care of her.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 7:38 am to CalcuttaTigah
That's a tough situation to be in, thankfully my parents are probably better set up for retirement than 99% of the population.
ETA: early 50's she should still have enough time to save if she changes her lifestyle and as long as she's healthy she should be able to work up until 70
ETA: early 50's she should still have enough time to save if she changes her lifestyle and as long as she's healthy she should be able to work up until 70
This post was edited on 2/29/12 at 7:40 am
Posted on 2/29/12 at 7:45 am to yellowfin
Going through it right now. Just spent a few grand trying to make her house livable again after she let it go to shite - it was like a bad episode of hoarders.
After two flat bed trailer loads to the dump and filling up an additional 100+ yard size garbage bags her arse is going back and out of my house in the next two weeks
After two flat bed trailer loads to the dump and filling up an additional 100+ yard size garbage bags her arse is going back and out of my house in the next two weeks
Posted on 2/29/12 at 7:48 am to guttata
quote:
I'd tell her get out there and start dating. Hopefully she can find herself a man with some $$ who can take care of her.
Yeah, post her pics and number.
But seriously, you should have a conversation with her. My guess is at this point she will be in denial and you're fricked/ But you still gotta try.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 7:55 am to CalcuttaTigah
quote:
Parent(s) with no retirement savings
Similar situation, somewhat ...
quote:
Dave Ramsey's advice: Typically what you're facing when you're trying to talk to your parents about money is what we call the powdered butt syndrome. Once someone has powdered your butt, they don't really want your opinion on sex or money. It's never going to really work. There are some rare exceptions where people have an unusual relationship where you could go in.
quote:
What I would suggest you do is shut up about it at this point after dropping the hint to your mom, and you and your husband go work this stuff, and you go win. Then, you can have a casual dinner conversation and tell your story--not their story, not condemning them--just saying, "This is what we did. We made these mistakes. Now, we have a game plan together. This information has completely changed our marriage and our lives."
Powered Butt Syndrome
Posted on 2/29/12 at 8:22 am to CalcuttaTigah
Just hope she stays healthy enough to work another 20 years.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 8:51 am to Will Cover
quote:
Dave Ramsey's advice: Typically what you're facing when you're trying to talk to your parents about money is what we call the powdered butt syndrome. Once someone has powdered your butt, they don't really want your opinion on sex or money. It's never going to really work. There are some rare exceptions where people have an unusual relationship where you could go in.
i love dave ramsey
also, i love the name of this syndrome
but literally as long as i can remember my mom has taken financial advice from me
my dad and i have only discussed it in the "son, this is what i didnt do until too late, now you need to do it now"
Posted on 2/29/12 at 9:14 am to CalcuttaTigah
quote:
But I guess she has some years left to build up some savings. How do you even start to save that late in life?
If you are the only one asking this (i.e. not your mother), then you're spinning your wheels.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 11:29 am to CalcuttaTigah
My parents took care of themselves until they died. My wife's parents did not. However, wife feels no responsibility because she has been estranged from both of them since age 17. Her dad died in squalor 3 years ago. He refused any contact with her from early childhood.
Her mom will probably also die in squalor. I tried to get some reconciliation going. Shortly after our marriage I invited the mom up for the weekend. After she left I told the wife "Wow, you were right. Your mom is a total piece of shite."
Lucy: "Told ya."
Her mom will probably also die in squalor. I tried to get some reconciliation going. Shortly after our marriage I invited the mom up for the weekend. After she left I told the wife "Wow, you were right. Your mom is a total piece of shite."
Lucy: "Told ya."
Posted on 2/29/12 at 12:20 pm to Bigsike
quote:
It is a shame you are never taught how to save in middle and high school.
Although I agree personal finance should be taught at an early age it is a cop out to think people can't self educate themselves. People that have commonsense and the dedication to work two jobs certainly should be able to self evaluate their situation and spending issues and turn it into a better economic scenario. I have yet to see a retirement genie.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 12:40 pm to tirebiter
Could be like my parents -
This post was edited on 11/4/12 at 6:28 pm
Posted on 2/29/12 at 3:30 pm to DandyPimp
1) Take advantage of free money situations such as a 401(k) match. You don't necessarily have to roll the dice in the market but if your company has a nice match, that is free money/immediate return.
2) Get a room mate/spouse. Plenty of expenses can be shared in this manner.
3) Stop spending on things you don't need.
4) Don't eat out.
2) Get a room mate/spouse. Plenty of expenses can be shared in this manner.
3) Stop spending on things you don't need.
4) Don't eat out.
Posted on 2/29/12 at 3:35 pm to CalcuttaTigah
quote:
just difficult to ask her these questions because it's tough to talk about.
Which is exactly why you need to talk to her and talk frankly.
Are you going to talk to your kids about sex, drugs and alcohol at the appropriate time or will you avoid those conversations because they're "tough"?
Didn't think so. Help your mom out now and have a frank financial discussion with her.
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