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Diet/Self-Control Help

Posted on 9/29/22 at 9:51 pm
Posted by CalcuttaTigah
Member since Jul 2009
769 posts
Posted on 9/29/22 at 9:51 pm
What advice do you guys have on dieting and self control?

Background is I’ve always been heavy but fairly athletic. Sitting at 5’9” and 205 lbs now… just disgusted with myself and how I feel. Never a big weight lifter but I trained and completed a marathon earlier this year at 9:40/mile pace. Trained 3-5x/week all year and didn’t lose but 10 lbs. Gained the weight back and stopped running, got tired of sacrificing family time with my toddler for training time. Similar story with OrangeTheory 4 or 5 years ago where I just got bored.

Diet/binge eating is my biggest issue since I love food and I need to admit to myself that I have zero self control and need help. I’ve tried advocare, intermittent fasting, keto (got a very bad keto rash and abandoned ship), etc…always get bored or disinterested and give up…the only success I had over a long period of time was when I was single…keeping bad food out of the house to limit snacking and only eating out at healthy places...lost about 35 lbs over a couple of years which I’ve since gained back over the last 4 years. That approach is no longer possible now that I’m married and my skinny wife has emerged as the queen of Chicfila/junk food. I assign some blame to that but the truth is I have no self control and am an emotional eater. I work in high pressure environment with long hours which doesn’t help at all.

I lack disciple in this area of my life and don’t know where to turn but I’m trying to avoid letting myself go completely…
Posted by oleyeller
Vols, Bitch
Member since Oct 2012
32021 posts
Posted on 9/29/22 at 9:57 pm to
Losing weight is 90% diet

Diet is 99% mental

You will have to get over that mental hurdle and hold yourself accountable. If it were easy, everyone would just do it and lose weight.
Posted by kung fu kenny
Birmingham
Member since Sep 2017
1756 posts
Posted on 9/29/22 at 10:46 pm to
I too eat out of stress and emotion. I have started going to counseling for unrelated issues (discussing stress there, but not the relation to eating) and that has helped make me more aware of my stress tendencies and it has helped me with eating somewhat as a result.

If you have one bad meal, don’t let it turn into two. If you have one bad day, don’t let it turn into two. Etc.

“What do you want right now vs what do you want most?”
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
35086 posts
Posted on 9/29/22 at 11:10 pm to
You just have to get pissed off enough to make the change. I don’t have the best diet but it’s a ton better than in was 4 years ago when I got pissed off at myself enough.

It also helps sometimes to listen to David Goggins call you a little bitch.
Posted by Popths
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2016
3965 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 8:06 am to
You have to quit looking at it as a temporary diet and make it a lifestyle change
Posted by TheJunction
Mississippi
Member since Oct 2014
953 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 8:29 am to
I'm the exact same way as you -- I have no self control if something is in the house, I'm going to snack on it consistently. So about six months ago my wife and I talked and agreed to clean up what we buy and that's made all the difference. If you don't buy it, you can't eat it.

I know you said that's not possible with your wife, but if you really sit her down and talk to her, surely she'd be on board.

We have a young child as well and that was part of the motivation - we want her to grow up in a household that doesn't eat junk every other meal.
Posted by TideSaint
Hill Country
Member since Sep 2008
75855 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 8:56 am to
Don't let your wife make the decisions on what is for supper.

Find healthy food you like to eat and tell her that is what you are eating that night.

My wife can cook extremely well and we have 3 teenagers she is always trying to keep well fed. That doesn't always work for me in my 40s so I started doing the majority of the cooking.

I still make enough food for all 5 of us, but I add something like pasta to my kids' plates that I don't like.

Remember, it takes at least 60 days for something to become a habit so those first two months are going to be a bitch to get through.

Also, drink a full glass of water in less than a minute right before each meal. You won't feel like eating much after that.
Posted by bamaguy17
Member since Jul 2022
716 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 8:58 am to
quote:

queen of Chicfila/junk food


Grilled cool wrap (mustard only, no dressing) is about the most filling 350 calories I've ever eaten. Hell, eat 2 if you're starving. 700 cals and about 80g protein. Also, it tastes as good as anything else there. So, let the wife have chick-fil-a. Just make the smart choice.
Posted by lofty
Member since Dec 2019
404 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 9:02 am to
Logging everything you eat into an app helps with self accountability, which is what most people who lack self discipline lack.(myself included)

Shoot for 1700-2200 cal a day depending on your size and activity level, aim for .75-1g/lbs day protein depending on if u take up lifting, and be patient over a month or two and the fat will Start melting.

Good luck, it's a you problem and takes a you solution
Posted by Lawyers_Guns_Money
Member since Apr 2015
393 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 9:45 am to
Not a psychiatrist, but a lot of deep rooted emotional baggage in this post which indicates you have to not only change your eating/training, but your mindset as well.

I too struggle with the wild swings and "all or nothing" mentality with both food and booze. I'm a lot further along than I once was, but it has been years of progression and I am still working on it.

If it were me, here is what I would do:

- Ditch the Diet Mentality: This is not a quick fix. Look at eating/nutrition as a lifestyle change for the rest of your life. Not Keto, IF, or some other diet. But something that is sustainable forever. I would start tracking macros and then move into intuitive eating
- Lift: You mention training for marathons and orange theory which is great, but I would recommend lifting in some capacity. If you don't have experience lifting, check out the Stronglifts 5x5 program
- Walk or Run:: If you are sick of running, try to get a 45 minute walk in every single day on top of your lifting. If you want to continue running, run a 5k 2-3x a week on top of your lifting.

There is a thread on the front page about "75 Hard" and a lot of people debating its worth, but it seems like you are the perfect candidate for it.

It is a series of 5 simple tasks done ever day for 75 straight days. It seems easy on paper, but the magic is in the consistency.

1. Follow a Nutrition Plan (Macros or Intuitive Eating)
2. Workout 2x a day, 1x outside (Lift + Walk or 5k)
3. Drink 1 gallon of water per day
4. Take progress picture
5. Ready 10 pages of any book
Posted by lsu777
Lake Charles
Member since Jan 2004
31041 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 10:29 am to
lots of good advice in this thread

i will say you mentioned being not a lifter...in your 40s...you should change that.

3 one hour sessions a week is more than enough to get a great workout in and see major progress when combined with lifting.


gonna tell you the same thing i just posted in another thread

1) 3 meals a day only, no snacks

2) no cokes or alcohol or drinks with calories, zero calorie sodas are fine

3) no 2nds, 1 plate only

4) since your wife is chik fila queen...have her get you the grilled chicken wrap instead of fried chicken sandwich. hell as mentioned, get 2 if need be.

5) when you sit down to eat, no tv, no phone, no distractions, sit down as a family.

6) take a bite, sit you fork down and chew counting to 30, wipe your mouth and take a sip of water. do this for every bite, it will be extremely slow and that is good

-will allow you absorb more nutrients due to chewing your food better

- will allow you brain time to catch up and receive the signal that you are full, so no overeating

7) walk 1 hour every afternoon. can be broken up, but 1 full hour of walking every day. feel yourself being stressed and wanting a snack, grab the toddler and go for a walk. everytime you are hungry, drink a glass of water and go for a 10 min walk. after each meal, go for a 10 min walk.

8) 8 full hours of sleep every night. this is as important or more important as anything else. make it a priorty and focus on sleep hygiene. put tape of any electronic lights make the room pitch black and cold and if need be, take low dose melatonin

9) no tv during the week during daylight hours. this will force you to get out and move around and no endless scrolling on social media either. read a book or pick at the garden, work on something, throw the ball with your kid, ride a bike something.

10) start a linear progression program. 1 hour 3x per week. its not hard. I suggest starting strength or the greyskull lp.

Posted by bsramzy
Member since Jan 2012
323 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 10:33 am to
My saving grace has been the Fair Life Nutrition protein shakes premixed in chocolate flavor.

If I have a craving- thats what I go grab as a substitute for a bag of chips, chocolate candy, boredom eating etc.
Posted by Fachie
Magnolia
Member since Mar 2017
449 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 11:28 am to
quote:

gonna tell you the same thing i just posted in another thread



Pretty much everything 777 said, except I train 5 to 6 times a week for 1 to 1.5 hours.

I started a year ago at 38 years old and 299 pounds. A prime example of a fatass office guy. I got down to 212, then started eating to gain muscle and I am hovering at 230.


My first trip to the gym almost made me cry, but it also pissed me off enough to realize what I needed to do.

It's not a sprint. It's a slow and steady lifestyle change. Once you really dial in your diet it is amazing.

Start simple. Benchpress, curls etc... The basic staples. Progress the program as you go.

My wife was the same as yours, took me some time but I got her on board as well. She is in the gym with me every day I go. Guess what? Now even the kids eat better, and my oldest trains harder than me. Nothing keeps me more motivated than my son talking smack.

Sitting there thinking about getting going is the hardest part. Once you start and you feel better, sleep better and start seeing that progress you get even more motivated.

Then you get to the good shite. Like body dysmorphia and all that.


This morning I did 15 pull ups. I couldn't do 1 a year ago. Things like that will motivate you more than anything else.

This post was edited on 9/30/22 at 11:34 am
Posted by caro81
Member since Jul 2017
4881 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 12:49 pm to
quote:

- Ditch the Diet Mentality: This is not a quick fix. Look at eating/nutrition as a lifestyle change for the rest of your life. Not Keto, IF, or some other diet. But something that is sustainable forever. I would start tracking macros and then move into intuitive eating


to me this is the number one thing you need to address.

you admitted to being a foodie and loving food. i am too. losing weight and eating well dont have to be to different goals.

identify things that are healthy and that you enjoy. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it) this means easy to go fast meals are usually completely out. Researching recipes and learning to cook is in.

For example i have a ground turkey chili recipe that i love that you can eat a big bowl of with high protein, relatively low cals, and filling.

it will pay in spades to develop those skills. Regardless of healthy or not, portion control is going to be something you need to do. Weighing and figuring out the caloric intake of your foods is very helpful for long-term weight management. As other have said, shoot for around 1900-2000 cals a day and see how that goes. if you arent losing fast enough and can tolerate less calories, adjust. Dont adjust that baseline based on exercise for weight loss. i dont care if you ran an extra mile today, your intake for the day is still 2k cals. people who justify extra intake because of their workout almost always over compensate in their extra caloric intake.

As for your wife. i would just sit down with her and explain how important this is to you. She can adjust by not necessarily stop eating fast food, but she can at least not bring it home.

you will never out exercise bad nutrition. Good, healthy, consistent diet is the foundation you build everything else off of. Over time you will learn your body, how it responds, and when and what you can have as those times where you "splurge". if your goal is to maintain a good overall healthy body it will be more often than you think. Just dont think your the rock or something when it comes to "cheat meals". Youre not the rock, dont eat two fricking pizzas
This post was edited on 9/30/22 at 12:54 pm
Posted by Seen
Member since Aug 2022
1127 posts
Posted on 9/30/22 at 9:53 pm to
Unbelievably good advice in this thread. More good advice in here than if you spent $200 on self help/diet/exercise books. What an underrated board
This post was edited on 9/30/22 at 9:54 pm
Posted by pwejr88
Red Stick
Member since Apr 2007
36174 posts
Posted on 10/1/22 at 1:57 am to
I was in your same boat. Always fell off. I finally found a system that worked and dropped 42 pounds in just a few months.
What I did:

Replaced cokes with coke zeros.
Stopped eating candy.
Used Splenda instead of sugar.
Tracked my calories with Mikes Macros.
Had a cheat DAY instead of a cheat MEAL once a week.
Some form of exercise preferably running four times a week.

A tip:
Lifting weights a few times a week and eating 150-190g of protein a day will help preserve muscle and avoid the “skinny fat” look.
Posted by CarlArredondo
Member since Dec 2012
11 posts
Posted on 10/1/22 at 5:13 pm to
I’m 5’ 10” 140 pounds. Too skinny but I was overweight and felt shitty 7 or 8 years ago. I feel good now and labs are great. I’m in my early 40s. I don’t drink M-F. I just eat dinner during the week - whatever I want, no breakfast or lunch. Saturday and Sunday I eat and drink what I want all day. I drink lots of carbonated water. Seems to fill a void that would otherwise be occupied with alcohol. I also try to run 3-4 times a week. It’s become such a habit i don’t even think about it. I saw a picture of myself 7 or 8 years ago with my hot wife and I was so disgusted by my appearance I decided to change. No calorie counting. No formal dieting.
Posted by TideSaint
Hill Country
Member since Sep 2008
75855 posts
Posted on 10/2/22 at 8:14 am to
quote:

I’m 5’ 10” 140 pounds.


Jesus Christ.

You need to eat more.

ETA: 7 posts in 10 years?
This post was edited on 10/2/22 at 8:52 am
Posted by lofty
Member since Dec 2019
404 posts
Posted on 10/2/22 at 8:21 am to
At 140 you could prolly put on 10lbs of muscle in 6 months and look more like a man with lifting and upping ur protein and calories moderately.

Really dudes can look ripped at 160 with low bf, which I hope you are allready at.
Posted by caro81
Member since Jul 2017
4881 posts
Posted on 10/3/22 at 10:47 am to
quote:

At 140 you could prolly put on 10lbs of muscle in 6 months and look more like a man with lifting and upping ur protein and calories moderately.

Really dudes can look ripped at 160 with low bf, which I hope you are allready at.



that'd be a little extreme, but the sentiment is valid. at 5'10 140 you'd put muscle on easy and id encourage it.
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