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Started By
Message
TulaneLSU's weekend of dining in Houston
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:38 pm
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:38 pm
Friends,
Last month our dear friend, HoustonGumbeauxGuy, piqued my interest with a post about Street to Kitchen, a Thai restaurant in Houston. I had not been to Houston in over a year, and my editor had business there, so I decided to take a quick trip there last week. As you know, Houston is a city that both speaks to and repulses my heart. I try to find the best in all things, taking to heart St. Paul’s counsel to the Phillipians that upon the pure and good things, these are the things upon which we should set our thoughts. My guide to Houston seems incomplete, yet and I hope this new chapter will fill some holes.
TulaneLSU's Top 10 items at Panchos Mexican Buffet
TulaneLSU's Top 10 grocery stores of Houston
TulaneLSU's Top 10 things to do in Houston
TulaneLSU's Top 10 restaurants in Houston's Chinatown
TulaneLSU's Top 10 Mexican eateries of Houston
TulaneLSU's review of Gypsy Poet pizza in Houston
TulaneLSU's review of Tony's Restaurant of Houston
TulaneLSU's statistical analysis of HEB, Rouses, and Publix
My trip started with a very long walk to Street to Kitchen. A confession before we get to the details of my meal there: I have never truly enjoyed Thai food. The one Thai restaurant I have enjoyed in all my life is Thai Diner in the Bowery. Every other Thai restaurant has left me disappointed.
Street to Kitchen is on the eastern portion of Houston, and for much of my walk, I could see giant smoke pipes from an electrical plant. I arrived around 11:15 and noted there was a pizzeria, Home Slice, at the corner where I thought the Street to Kitchen was. It was, much to my disappointment, closed.
After meandering aimlessly around that block, looking for the restaurant’s entrance, a kind young man at a plant store decided to escort me to the hidden door. And then down a long, characterless hallway.
The hostess asked me if I had a reservation. I did not. And she seemed to take offense that someone would dare show up to the nearly empty restaurant without a reservation. She sat me before a flirty, comical waiter who tried to help with the menu, which was slipped inside an album cover that read, "unapologetically Thai & bougie,” which sounded straight from the year 2010. Do people still use the term bougie?
“Chap,” he said to me. I had not been called Chap since my college days. “Get the corn fritters to start. They are perfect.” I followed his lead.
They were unremarkable corn fritters and on the receipt it read curry corn cake. At $10, I thought them quite an overpriced and unappealing way to start the meal. Next, I chose the Tom Yum soup. The waiter recommended I get it mild, after assuring me that mild was not that hot. Unfortunately, even the mild version of this soup at this restaurant was inedible. The first bite of it shook me, burning my tongue with an entirely unpleasant flavor, as if its inspiration had been the saliva from the alien from the movie Alien: Romulus, which I saw today at AMC. It was $14 and I may have eaten 14 cents worth.
It would be difficult to go downhill, so I asked the server for his next recommendation. He suggested the $18 stir fried Thai basil with beef. He assured me that this dish would not be too spicy, after seeing that I was not a fan of destroying my tastebuds through spice. But it too was entirely too spicy. Even attempts to blunt the heat with rice failed. I began to wonder if the cook hated me or if the meal was a practical joke and everyone in the kitchen was laughing at me as I sweated and gagged eating food that could burn a hole through steel.
My last effort was to try the shrimp Pad Thai (why is the pad always capitalized?). Any positive flavors it might have had were again lost to the heat. To salvage the dish, I went to the bathroom and rinsed off the shrimp, so at least I could somewhat enjoy them.
When the waiter returned, he asked if I wanted dessert. There was no way I was getting another dish there. Compounding the issue was that the waiter awkwardly and rudely then told me that a service fee was already added to the check. However, if I wanted to leave an additional tip, he would appreciate it. After having the worst dining experience of my life, one in which I ate less than 20% of what was served me, not out of rudeness but out of concern for my stomach’s and tongue’s health, I politely declined. How did this restaurant won a James Beard award?
Last month our dear friend, HoustonGumbeauxGuy, piqued my interest with a post about Street to Kitchen, a Thai restaurant in Houston. I had not been to Houston in over a year, and my editor had business there, so I decided to take a quick trip there last week. As you know, Houston is a city that both speaks to and repulses my heart. I try to find the best in all things, taking to heart St. Paul’s counsel to the Phillipians that upon the pure and good things, these are the things upon which we should set our thoughts. My guide to Houston seems incomplete, yet and I hope this new chapter will fill some holes.
TulaneLSU's Top 10 items at Panchos Mexican Buffet
TulaneLSU's Top 10 grocery stores of Houston
TulaneLSU's Top 10 things to do in Houston
TulaneLSU's Top 10 restaurants in Houston's Chinatown
TulaneLSU's Top 10 Mexican eateries of Houston
TulaneLSU's review of Gypsy Poet pizza in Houston
TulaneLSU's review of Tony's Restaurant of Houston
TulaneLSU's statistical analysis of HEB, Rouses, and Publix
My trip started with a very long walk to Street to Kitchen. A confession before we get to the details of my meal there: I have never truly enjoyed Thai food. The one Thai restaurant I have enjoyed in all my life is Thai Diner in the Bowery. Every other Thai restaurant has left me disappointed.
Street to Kitchen is on the eastern portion of Houston, and for much of my walk, I could see giant smoke pipes from an electrical plant. I arrived around 11:15 and noted there was a pizzeria, Home Slice, at the corner where I thought the Street to Kitchen was. It was, much to my disappointment, closed.
After meandering aimlessly around that block, looking for the restaurant’s entrance, a kind young man at a plant store decided to escort me to the hidden door. And then down a long, characterless hallway.
The hostess asked me if I had a reservation. I did not. And she seemed to take offense that someone would dare show up to the nearly empty restaurant without a reservation. She sat me before a flirty, comical waiter who tried to help with the menu, which was slipped inside an album cover that read, "unapologetically Thai & bougie,” which sounded straight from the year 2010. Do people still use the term bougie?
“Chap,” he said to me. I had not been called Chap since my college days. “Get the corn fritters to start. They are perfect.” I followed his lead.
They were unremarkable corn fritters and on the receipt it read curry corn cake. At $10, I thought them quite an overpriced and unappealing way to start the meal. Next, I chose the Tom Yum soup. The waiter recommended I get it mild, after assuring me that mild was not that hot. Unfortunately, even the mild version of this soup at this restaurant was inedible. The first bite of it shook me, burning my tongue with an entirely unpleasant flavor, as if its inspiration had been the saliva from the alien from the movie Alien: Romulus, which I saw today at AMC. It was $14 and I may have eaten 14 cents worth.
It would be difficult to go downhill, so I asked the server for his next recommendation. He suggested the $18 stir fried Thai basil with beef. He assured me that this dish would not be too spicy, after seeing that I was not a fan of destroying my tastebuds through spice. But it too was entirely too spicy. Even attempts to blunt the heat with rice failed. I began to wonder if the cook hated me or if the meal was a practical joke and everyone in the kitchen was laughing at me as I sweated and gagged eating food that could burn a hole through steel.
My last effort was to try the shrimp Pad Thai (why is the pad always capitalized?). Any positive flavors it might have had were again lost to the heat. To salvage the dish, I went to the bathroom and rinsed off the shrimp, so at least I could somewhat enjoy them.
When the waiter returned, he asked if I wanted dessert. There was no way I was getting another dish there. Compounding the issue was that the waiter awkwardly and rudely then told me that a service fee was already added to the check. However, if I wanted to leave an additional tip, he would appreciate it. After having the worst dining experience of my life, one in which I ate less than 20% of what was served me, not out of rudeness but out of concern for my stomach’s and tongue’s health, I politely declined. How did this restaurant won a James Beard award?
This post was edited on 8/30/24 at 7:47 pm
10
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:38 pm to TulaneLSU
Four courses down and hardly any calories in, I decided to walk to Rice Village to meet with my editor, which is near his home. We settled for tea and after business was complete, I asked for his recommendation for a restaurant. He suggested 60 Vines because “they’re pizza is good and I know you like pizza.”. Assuming it was a jungle themed restaurant in the image Rainforest Cafe, I was thrilled with the suggestion. He declined to join me, so off I was to another meal alone.
I entered downstairs and I ate downstairs, but the waiter informed me that the party was actually upstairs.I met the pizzaiola there and when I told her I had never had a pizza from a Maine Wood Heat oven, she invited me to touch the oven. When she could tell I was a true pizza aficionado, she then invited me to toss my own dough. It was an offer no one could refuse.
When it comes to pizzas, especially Neapolitan style, I am a traditionalist. So I made a margherita, which turned out splendidly, arguably the best pizza in Houston.
My new friend suggested I also get some small plates there, including the fried zucchini, roasted cauliflower, and roasted Brussels sprouts. They were all excellent, and I would rank them in that order from best to least best.
My waiter then surprised me, bringing over two additional pizzas, “compliments of the Chef!” he proclaimed. The first was the spicy sausage, which also had fennel. It was good, although, not nearly as good as the margherita. It would have benefitted from 20-23 seconds longer in the oven. And when you have an excellent dough and sauce, as Sixty Vines does, you begin to subtract with addition. The other pizza was a cauliflower crust with broccoli and potatoes. As much as I wish cauliflower made for a good dough, it does not. I have never had a good cauliflower pizza.
When all was said and done, I was happy to say that Sixty Vines is home to Houston’s best pizza. The margherita at $14 is a steal.
The next morning I walked to The Heights to visit the Farmers Market, which, truth be told, was not entirely exciting. What was exciting were the smell emanating from a kitchen across the street. I followed my nose and ended up in a most wonderful bakery called El Bolillo, where the words of Jesus greeted me!
Being a newcomer, I was initially a bit overwhelmed. The inside was a hive of activity, both young and old holding large pizza pans and equally large tongs. They went from case to case, sifting through the 200 different items, choosing which to add to their panoply. In the corner were two older women making some of the best tortillas I have ever tasted.
My favorite was the traditional concha. I found the fancier or more appealing to the eye of a child, the less good the dessert was. Please do not tell Mother, but shortly before I left, I visited the newest El Bolillo over by The Galleria and got another twelve desserts. El Bolillo is unquestionably a must-do while in Houston.
Having satisfied my sweet tooth for the morning, I walked south to Laredo, which is one of my favorite Mexican establishments in Houston. After waiting in a 15 minute line while a man from Austin and his wife tried to tell me what tacos to get, I decided on el pollo en mole, which is only served after noon, and the chili relleno. Both were superb, better than the barbacoa, which I had last time.
One good bit of advice the man in line gave me was “you must try Truth BBQ. It is the best BBQ in Texas and it is right down the street.” So back to the pavement my feet went and I made the short journey to Truth, which is across the street from a great HEB. They were closing for the afternoon, so I got a brisket sandwich to go. One of Uncle’s former partners lives in that area, so I called him up and he invited me over.
Most of you know that I do not like BBQ that much, but this brisket sandwich was the best BBQ sandwich I had ever had. Uncle’s friend, who is an accomplished climber, and I split the sandwich over tales of mountain ascents. I secretly plotted to return to Truth for a full visit the next day.
It was getting later, and the heat was passing, so my next visit was to Hillstone. Although a lengthy walk, I was excited to try one of the original Houston restaurants. Everything about Hillstone is reminiscent of Houston’s on St. Charles, except it is on a rather unpleasant street with loud cars, quite the change in scenery from the majestic New Orleans Houston’s. I found it amusing that I was eating at a Houston’s in Houston, yet it was not named Houston’s.
The menu brought great joy to me. Both the artichokes and the cheese bread were on the menu. Sadly, the artichokes were out of season, and the waiter informed me that the cheese bread was already sold out. I have not had Houston’s cheese bread since 1992. It is one of the best things they serve, yet never is served anymore; I suspect because it is a cheap filler and they end up losing money on diners who get it. So instead I got their spinach artichoke dip, which I really do not enjoy these days, and the burger.
The spinach artichoke dip was uninspired and the burger was not as good as the burger at Houston’s, New Orleans second best burger behind only the smoked burger occasionally given out at the meat counter at the Magazine Whole Foods. Adding to my distress was the fact they threw onions on my burger, which I meticulously removed. Why someone would ruin a pizza or burger with onions is as unanswerable as why ASMR exists or how Ryan Reynolds found success on the silver screen.
I entered downstairs and I ate downstairs, but the waiter informed me that the party was actually upstairs.I met the pizzaiola there and when I told her I had never had a pizza from a Maine Wood Heat oven, she invited me to touch the oven. When she could tell I was a true pizza aficionado, she then invited me to toss my own dough. It was an offer no one could refuse.
When it comes to pizzas, especially Neapolitan style, I am a traditionalist. So I made a margherita, which turned out splendidly, arguably the best pizza in Houston.
My new friend suggested I also get some small plates there, including the fried zucchini, roasted cauliflower, and roasted Brussels sprouts. They were all excellent, and I would rank them in that order from best to least best.
My waiter then surprised me, bringing over two additional pizzas, “compliments of the Chef!” he proclaimed. The first was the spicy sausage, which also had fennel. It was good, although, not nearly as good as the margherita. It would have benefitted from 20-23 seconds longer in the oven. And when you have an excellent dough and sauce, as Sixty Vines does, you begin to subtract with addition. The other pizza was a cauliflower crust with broccoli and potatoes. As much as I wish cauliflower made for a good dough, it does not. I have never had a good cauliflower pizza.
When all was said and done, I was happy to say that Sixty Vines is home to Houston’s best pizza. The margherita at $14 is a steal.
The next morning I walked to The Heights to visit the Farmers Market, which, truth be told, was not entirely exciting. What was exciting were the smell emanating from a kitchen across the street. I followed my nose and ended up in a most wonderful bakery called El Bolillo, where the words of Jesus greeted me!
Being a newcomer, I was initially a bit overwhelmed. The inside was a hive of activity, both young and old holding large pizza pans and equally large tongs. They went from case to case, sifting through the 200 different items, choosing which to add to their panoply. In the corner were two older women making some of the best tortillas I have ever tasted.
My favorite was the traditional concha. I found the fancier or more appealing to the eye of a child, the less good the dessert was. Please do not tell Mother, but shortly before I left, I visited the newest El Bolillo over by The Galleria and got another twelve desserts. El Bolillo is unquestionably a must-do while in Houston.
Having satisfied my sweet tooth for the morning, I walked south to Laredo, which is one of my favorite Mexican establishments in Houston. After waiting in a 15 minute line while a man from Austin and his wife tried to tell me what tacos to get, I decided on el pollo en mole, which is only served after noon, and the chili relleno. Both were superb, better than the barbacoa, which I had last time.
One good bit of advice the man in line gave me was “you must try Truth BBQ. It is the best BBQ in Texas and it is right down the street.” So back to the pavement my feet went and I made the short journey to Truth, which is across the street from a great HEB. They were closing for the afternoon, so I got a brisket sandwich to go. One of Uncle’s former partners lives in that area, so I called him up and he invited me over.
Most of you know that I do not like BBQ that much, but this brisket sandwich was the best BBQ sandwich I had ever had. Uncle’s friend, who is an accomplished climber, and I split the sandwich over tales of mountain ascents. I secretly plotted to return to Truth for a full visit the next day.
It was getting later, and the heat was passing, so my next visit was to Hillstone. Although a lengthy walk, I was excited to try one of the original Houston restaurants. Everything about Hillstone is reminiscent of Houston’s on St. Charles, except it is on a rather unpleasant street with loud cars, quite the change in scenery from the majestic New Orleans Houston’s. I found it amusing that I was eating at a Houston’s in Houston, yet it was not named Houston’s.
The menu brought great joy to me. Both the artichokes and the cheese bread were on the menu. Sadly, the artichokes were out of season, and the waiter informed me that the cheese bread was already sold out. I have not had Houston’s cheese bread since 1992. It is one of the best things they serve, yet never is served anymore; I suspect because it is a cheap filler and they end up losing money on diners who get it. So instead I got their spinach artichoke dip, which I really do not enjoy these days, and the burger.
The spinach artichoke dip was uninspired and the burger was not as good as the burger at Houston’s, New Orleans second best burger behind only the smoked burger occasionally given out at the meat counter at the Magazine Whole Foods. Adding to my distress was the fact they threw onions on my burger, which I meticulously removed. Why someone would ruin a pizza or burger with onions is as unanswerable as why ASMR exists or how Ryan Reynolds found success on the silver screen.
This post was edited on 8/30/24 at 7:44 pm
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:38 pm to TulaneLSU
After a two hour swim at the hotel the next morning, I set off for a visit to Neiman Marcus to see if their Christmas ornaments were on display yet. Unfortunately, they were not, but to my pleasure, Mariposa was open. Sadly, this restaurant is not what it was a couple of decades ago. It also is not as good as the one at Chicago’s Neiman. Perhaps most notably, they start the meal with “monkey bread” rather than Neiman’s famous popovers. While the bread is not bad, those who have experienced Neiman’s popovers know it to be one of the best bread dishes in America. The chicken broth had a great taste, as usual, but it had not been filtered, further revealing the declining direction of this location.
The menu at this Mariposa is likewise diminutive. As I learned at my last visit to this location, getting anything other than the warm grains bowl is a mistake. I ordered two and the summer version is as good as their winter version.
After the meal, I did some shopping at Neiman and bought Mother a handbag at Dior before wandering back to Truth. This time, there was a line to get in and I patiently waited, watching the grillers prep meats. I ate in and purchased every meat they offered.
My favorite, from best to least items I had that day were: brisket, pulled pork, pork ribs, smoked chicken, house sausage. My ticket ended up costing over $100, which I thought was excessive for what I got. It was not nearly as good as the day before, and reaffirmed my belief BBQ is the worst way to cook brisket, and that BBQ in general is an inferior, barbaric form of cooking.
Mother is calling me to join her for dinner -- her famous crab cakes! -- so I must stop here. Perhaps I can give more details later.
Yours,
TulaneLSU
The menu at this Mariposa is likewise diminutive. As I learned at my last visit to this location, getting anything other than the warm grains bowl is a mistake. I ordered two and the summer version is as good as their winter version.
After the meal, I did some shopping at Neiman and bought Mother a handbag at Dior before wandering back to Truth. This time, there was a line to get in and I patiently waited, watching the grillers prep meats. I ate in and purchased every meat they offered.
My favorite, from best to least items I had that day were: brisket, pulled pork, pork ribs, smoked chicken, house sausage. My ticket ended up costing over $100, which I thought was excessive for what I got. It was not nearly as good as the day before, and reaffirmed my belief BBQ is the worst way to cook brisket, and that BBQ in general is an inferior, barbaric form of cooking.
Mother is calling me to join her for dinner -- her famous crab cakes! -- so I must stop here. Perhaps I can give more details later.
Yours,
TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 8/30/24 at 7:45 pm
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:42 pm to TulaneLSU
Pumped for this
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:44 pm to TulaneLSU
I hope this is a 10th of how great your last Outback visit/review was.
Posted on 8/30/24 at 7:58 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
I went to the bathroom and rinsed off the shrimp, so at least I could somewhat enjoy them.
Posted on 8/30/24 at 11:49 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
BBQ is the worst way to cook brisket, and that BBQ in general is an inferior, barbaric form of cooking.
This form of cooking meat is as old or older as Texas itself. I am disappointed with this conclusion.
While at Truth you should have also been directed to grab one of their desserts.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 2:51 am to TulaneLSU
quote:
reaffirmed my belief BBQ is the worst way to cook brisket
What in your opinion is the best way?
Posted on 8/31/24 at 6:20 am to Powerman
Crockpot obviously.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 9:15 am to TulaneLSU
Please forgive me but I must ask. Is he guy with his back to the camera in photo 23 TulaneLSU?
Second part of my question has been deleted.
Second part of my question has been deleted.
This post was edited on 8/31/24 at 9:16 am
Posted on 8/31/24 at 9:16 am to TulaneLSU
quote:
noted there was a pizzeria, Home Slice, at the corner where I thought the Street to Kitchen was. It was, much to my disappointment, closed.
That's a shame. I haven't eaten at the Houston location but the Austin location is often considered best in town. I'm curious to get your opinion and asked in your pizza rankings if you've ever tried it. I've haven't had the opportunity to try most of your list.
Not sure what to make of your intolerance for spicy food or inability to appreciate bbq.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 9:20 am to TulaneLSU
quote:
reaffirmed my belief BBQ is the worst way to cook brisket, and that BBQ in general is an inferior, barbaric form of cooking.
In one fell swoop all that has gone before was sorely discredited.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 10:38 am to Powerman
quote:
quote:
reaffirmed my belief BBQ is the worst way to cook brisket
What in your opinion is the best way?
He'll probably say pastrami.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 10:43 am to PerplenGold
How do you feel about the best pizza in Houston being the one he made himself?
Posted on 8/31/24 at 12:14 pm to TulaneLSU
El Bollio and Truth are the only places you went to that are worth a frick.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 12:15 pm to TulaneLSU
How's your valve doing?
Posted on 8/31/24 at 12:17 pm to GRTiger
quote:
How do you feel about the best pizza in Houston being the one he made himself?
On brand and completely predictable.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 2:29 pm to TulaneLSU
Friend
Glad you were able to enjoy the versatility of cuisine in owlvis country
Best
S
Glad you were able to enjoy the versatility of cuisine in owlvis country
Best
S
Posted on 8/31/24 at 6:41 pm to TulaneLSU
Sir, only read half of your post before losing interest and I was bewildered to find no less than two grammatical errors in your writing. This is not the TulaneLSU we know. This is not the TulaneLSU we deserve.
Posted on 8/31/24 at 9:17 pm to TulaneLSU
This is a nice little play on words for mother’s favorite sexual position.
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