Friends,

As many of our national systems shy away from standardized testing, it is time we reflect on our own systems of judgment. Over the last month there have been several OT threads that debated the merits and defects of the three major grocery stores of the Gulf Coast: Rouses, Publix, and H-E-B. Posters have proudly boasted about one while roundly criticizing the other. The criticisms have reeked of subjectivity and geographic bias. No general consensus was ever reached. And why should there have been? A thorough, impartial, systematic, and empirical analysis of the three grocery chains has eluded all of us.

It is a matter of profound and sincere concern for me. Grocery shopping is one of the activities in life that gives me the most joy. To walk into the produce section and have thousands of fruits of God’s garden glimmering in the light, waiting for me to choose just one or two is a miracle of modern life.

My first memories of grocery shopping come from the Langenstein’s on Arabella. It was within those narrow aisles that I learned the importance of weighing every item before purchasing, how to tell between a ripe and unripe tomato, and the difference between a napkin and a sanitary pad. We would sometimes see Angus Lind of the Picayune-States Item shopping there. And I, as a young boy, would either applaud or criticize his most recent works. When his weekly column was about gambling and horse racing, as it often was, I would encourage him to speak of the good things of life rather than the depravities of man.

Occasionally, we would make jaunts to the Canal Villere in Mid-City and even the gargantuan Schwegmann’s on Airline, which by the time I shopped its produce section, was well past its sell by date. The only TV show I regularly watched as a child predictably was “Supermarket Sweep.” It taught me that to run up a big bill you went straight for the turkeys, detergent, and large cans of coffee. Yes, grocery shopping for me has always been both recreation and a serious errand. And a month ago, with no authority could I say one of the big three was greater than another.

As your dear servant, I embarked on a path to remedy this crisis of grocery store knowledge. These three giants of the Gulf Coast do not overlap with each other, except where Rouses and Publix have set up a battle ground in Baldwin County, Alabama. And so, I have had to travel over 1000 miles to gain the knowledge to make such a study valid. In the process, I have spent more than 30 hours in the grocery stores, taken extensive notes, spoken to over 100 employees, and sampled over 1000 dollars in groceries. The product of these labors is the most thorough cross sectional analysis and comparison of these three regional chains.

Basics of each grocer:

H-E-B: Founded in the small central Texas town of Kerrville in 1905, H-E-B now has 380 stores throughout Texas and Mexico. Its name stands for Howard E. Butts, the founder’s son who greatly expanded its operations. Today H-E-B also includes H-E-B Plus, Mi Tienda, Joe V's Smart Shop, and Central Market. It is the 8th largest grocer in America.

Publix: Founded in Winter Haven in 1930, Publix now has 1350 stores in FL, AL, GA, NC, SC, VA, TN, and KY. More than ? are in Florida. It was named after a group of failing theaters in Florida. It is the 7th largest grocer in America.

Rouses: Founded in Thibodaux, LA by J.P. Rouse in 1923, it has 66 stores in LA, MS, and AL. Its farthest west store is in Sulphur, LA and its easternmost store is in Orange Beach, AL.

The stores:

While I wish I could have visited every single store, I did not have the time nor did Mother allow me to use her car any longer for road trips. With that in mind, I visited and spent many hours in six stores from each of the chains. Included in H-E-B’s visitations is a trip to Central Market, arguably the most luxurious grocery store in America. Below are both the addresses and the entrances of each store I visited.

H-E-B: