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re: Dealing with a parent remarrying after one dies?
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:03 am to OldHickory
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:03 am to OldHickory
I guess the part that's odd to me is formalizing these new relationships with a marriage. Seems extremely impractical and (potentially) needlessly hurtful to the rest of the family. Why not move in together and just leave it be?
Anyone at that age that starts pushing for a marriage screams gold digger to me, and that goes for both sexes. My grandma had a man try it with her: dated for a year, finally got married, was annulled within 2 weeks when he found out she didn't have any money.
Anyone at that age that starts pushing for a marriage screams gold digger to me, and that goes for both sexes. My grandma had a man try it with her: dated for a year, finally got married, was annulled within 2 weeks when he found out she didn't have any money.
This post was edited on 3/28/21 at 8:04 am
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Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:04 am to MBclass83
We celebrate our 52 anniversary tomorrow. I was laughing at the women bringing cookies to the new guy, and my wife wanted to know what I was laughing about, so I read it to her. We both cackled like Kamala.
I took this light hearted moment to tell her to not think twice, nor consider the kids when I croak. I told her to be careful, or she could get stuck with ANOTHER like me.
She stopped laughing.
I took this light hearted moment to tell her to not think twice, nor consider the kids when I croak. I told her to be careful, or she could get stuck with ANOTHER like me.
She stopped laughing.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:06 am to OldHickory
Hire him a live-in housekeeper. Number two will just turn you and your siblings into the “jr varsity squad scrubs” should your dad pass away before her. There is no compelling legal reason for him to remarry at this point in life. Shack up. Hang out. Go places. But for god’s sake don’t get married.
This post was edited on 3/28/21 at 10:27 am
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:08 am to OldHickory
This should be something you can just talk to your dad about - mainly about being sure he isnt just jumping too fast and that kind of thing.
How many months are you talking.
As far as a grief counselor- sounds like a good idea relative to your mom passing.
How many months are you talking.
As far as a grief counselor- sounds like a good idea relative to your mom passing.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:27 am to OldHickory
Let your dad do what he fricking wants. He should put you over his knee and tan that hide.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:44 am to OldHickory
Have you tried talking to your dad instead of a therapist? I’m sure your dad can tell you what’s in his head if you just ask. Might help you deal with the situation.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:45 am to OldHickory
This is similar to what happened to my FIL and his dad. His mom passed in 2013 and his dad met a women who he called “the love of his life” and they were married only a few months after. He gave away all his mother possessions and he basically replaced her with his new wife. This made my FIL and his 2 brothers extremely upset and all 3 haven’t spoken to him since.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:46 am to OldHickory
Set him up with a weekly "massage therapist" (i.e., high class hooker). He'll be G2G.
If no already, get involved with his finances, most men don't like to give up control, so that may be a challenge.
If no already, get involved with his finances, most men don't like to give up control, so that may be a challenge.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:47 am to OldHickory
Almost identical situation happened to me.
My old man is a real hard arse and I’m not particularly close to him.
All that said, I finally reconciled to the truth that it’s his life...
My old man is a real hard arse and I’m not particularly close to him.
All that said, I finally reconciled to the truth that it’s his life...
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:52 am to MBclass83
quote:
It's actually quite common. Men don't live well alone at that age. Plus the "casserole brigade" is waiting in the wings for this situation like vultures. It can complicate inheritance issues so advise a prenuptial. My cousins got nothing of their father's because of this. Good luck.
^^^This in a nut sack^^^^^
Dad was twice divorced and moved back to the farm. Six figure income in a shithole parish made him extremely eligible. Third wife was a grifter as were her two daughters and they played it up for him. Took three years for her to get him to write her into will giving her access and his kids the Bill. Three years before he died I helped him see the light and will was revised. Beotch almost fell out when brother read it and she was written out. Cost his estate $$$ to make it stick.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:52 am to OldHickory
Tell him put your mother’s estate in a trust for her kids then wish him well.
And my kids will never have to worry about me getting married. Rest assured once is enough for me.
And my kids will never have to worry about me getting married. Rest assured once is enough for me.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:53 am to OldHickory
quote:
My mother passed away a few months ago. My father is already planning on remarrying. They were married for 50 years. I think he’s lonely and afraid, but it also seems he’s found love again.
Sounds like he had wife number two lined up before your mom died. Yes. That would really bother me. A lot.
Eta: I'm sure OP is worried about this harlot swiping in and taking the inheritance.
This post was edited on 3/28/21 at 9:03 am
Posted on 3/28/21 at 8:57 am to OldHickory
Be happy for your dad.
He's going to be lonely without your mom. My guess is you have a family, job, things to do with your day.
After 50 years he must be older and this maybe about companionship and not really about once in a lifetime love
He's going to be lonely without your mom. My guess is you have a family, job, things to do with your day.
After 50 years he must be older and this maybe about companionship and not really about once in a lifetime love
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:01 am to OldHickory
Jesus, grow up! Dealing with the same thing. My “ new “ wife was married for 35 years, husband died of alzhiemers in a nursing home.Her freaking selfish step children can’t stand for her to be happy!
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:03 am to OldHickory
Was it a sudden death or expected?
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:06 am to OldHickory
I'm sure even with her dying, your mother would want your dad to move on and be happy with whatever life he has left.
I'd talk to your dad if anything. I understand how you feel, but in the end you need to be happy fr your dad. If that's what your dad wants, then you should be okay with it too.
I'd talk to your dad if anything. I understand how you feel, but in the end you need to be happy fr your dad. If that's what your dad wants, then you should be okay with it too.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:15 am to OldHickory
Mom died and dad promptly 'fell in love" with a woman who was 46 years younger and also younger than the youngest child.
They got married and she very quickly kicked the son and one sister out of the fam. The other sister was easily controlled by the new wifey.
Young wife had dad write all kids out of the will and leave 2 farms, a place at the lake in MN and 2 businesses to her. She is worth millions now.
I wouldn't throw water on her if she was on fire. She ruled dad after they got married.
They got married and she very quickly kicked the son and one sister out of the fam. The other sister was easily controlled by the new wifey.
Young wife had dad write all kids out of the will and leave 2 farms, a place at the lake in MN and 2 businesses to her. She is worth millions now.
I wouldn't throw water on her if she was on fire. She ruled dad after they got married.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:16 am to A Menace to Sobriety
I can understand the kids questioning this, but life is for the living. Some men and women need another person to be there and know they don't have much time left.
He should, however, do a prenup and take care of his kids, as she should to take care of her family.
I have a friend who lost his wife prematurely after 30 years of marriage. It tore all of us up and I'm not sure he is over it yet, five years later. He did reconnect with an old girlfriend and they do things together. They even lived together for a little while, but he's not going to marry her -- he has too much sense for that.
He should, however, do a prenup and take care of his kids, as she should to take care of her family.
I have a friend who lost his wife prematurely after 30 years of marriage. It tore all of us up and I'm not sure he is over it yet, five years later. He did reconnect with an old girlfriend and they do things together. They even lived together for a little while, but he's not going to marry her -- he has too much sense for that.
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:20 am to OldHickory
quote:
We’ve had productive conversations. I don’t want to lose the one parent I have left. I love my dad. I want him to be happy. I don’t want him to be hurt or get screwed over. I don’t want my mom’s smart financial planning to be for nothing. Most of all, I don’t want my mom’s memory to be lost.
My MIL died a year and a half ago. For about a year my FIL did his grieving his own way while my wife and her fam did the same.
Ultimately when he decided to start dating we were proud of him in that he was ready to get back out there after being married 40+ years. He’s not the most motivated guy.
One thing I’ve noticed is even though he’s started seeing other women, he’ll never forget his wife. Ever.
I realize the time is different, but I hope this helps.
This post was edited on 3/28/21 at 9:21 am
Posted on 3/28/21 at 9:21 am to OldHickory
OP sounds egotistical and self-absorbed
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