GMT

Today in History: May 12

1588 King Henry III flees Paris after Henry of Guise triumphantly enters the city.

1863 With a victory at the Battle of Raymond, Mississippi, Union General Ulysses S. Grant closes in on Vicksburg.

1865 The last land battle of the Civil war occurs at Palmito Ranch, Texas. It is a Confederate victory.

1932 The body of Charles Lindbergh's baby is found.

1935 Alcoholics Anonymous is founded in Akron, Ohio by "Bill W.," a stockbroker, and "Dr. Bob S.," a heart surgeon.

1940 The Nazi conquest of France begins with the crossing Musee River.

1949 The Berlin Blockade ends.

1969 Viet Cong sappers try unsuccessfully to overrun Landing Zone Snoopy in Vietnam.

Born on May 12

1820 Florence Nightingale, English nurse and hospital reformer.

1907 Katherine Hepburn, actress (The Philadelphia Story, The African Queen).

1925 Yogi Berra (Lawrence Peter Berra), baseball player and coach.

Joke of the Day
A police officer pulls over a speeding car...

The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”
The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Darn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”
The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”
The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”
The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”
“Only when he’s been drinking.”