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re: Why does it feel so wrong to be alone in public places?

Posted on 11/12/19 at 6:51 am to
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13442 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 6:51 am to
If I eat out or go to a movie at least 80% of the time I do so alone. I do not feel awkward or strange being alone.

Being alone produces much of worth. In my morning reading today I came across this thought by Kierkegaard and it reinforces the gift of solitude. Embrace your time and solitude.

quote:

One can very well eat lettuce before its heart has been formed; still, the delicate crispness of the heart and its lovely frizz are something altogether different from the leaves. It is the same in the world of the spirit. Being too busy has this result: that an individual very, very rarely is permitted to form a heart; on the other hand, the thinker, the poet, or the religious personality who actually has formed his heart, will never be popular, not because he is difficult, but because it demands quiet and prolonged working with oneself and intimate knowledge of oneself as well as a certain isolation.
Posted by SlidellCajun
Slidell la
Member since May 2019
12468 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 7:07 am to
Because every single mass murderer has been that one guy who was ‘alone in public’
Posted by LSUfan20005
Member since Sep 2012
8901 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 7:10 am to
Want to really blow your mind? Be alone in public places and don’t use your phone, observe how many others (even in groups) are totally absorbed by their phones.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67777 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 7:20 am to
I noticed this when I went to the gym. No one is looking at you because they’re too busy looking at themselves (or their phones).

I just already spend so much time by myself that I don’t enjoy those “social” activities like dining and movies so much alone. I think part of it may be that I’m just cheap. Dining out and movie theaters can get expensive, so I guess I don’t feel it’s really worth it if I’m just spending it on me. I can listen to my own thoughts at home. I look at my phone so I can read thoughts that aren’t my own. I’m tired of listening to myself.
Posted by MBclass83
Member since Oct 2010
9613 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 7:20 am to
I've gone to a movie, eaten out, and went to a Sugar Bowl alone, all at different ages. Loved it.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67777 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 7:24 am to
Dated 6 years, married for 3
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
21900 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 8:30 am to
quote:

Dated 6 years, married for 3

Why did it end?
Posted by xxTIMMYxx
Member since Aug 2019
17562 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 8:32 am to
OP must be ugly. Good looking people don't have this problem.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67777 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 9:03 am to
She was talking to an ex behind my back and lied about it for 6 months. She hated living with me. She refused to go to counseling or therapy with me to work on it or even talk with her parents about it until it was way too late. She decided she hated my family. She decided she didn’t love me anymore and wanted to date other people. She wanted to start having babies, but when I got checked out, found out I couldn’t give her one.

The divorce has been final for 6 months and she’s already remarried and preggers, so I guess she got what she wanted.
This post was edited on 11/12/19 at 9:06 am
Posted by The Boat
Member since Oct 2008
168519 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 9:06 am to
quote:

If I eat out or go to a movie at least 80% of the time I do so alone. I do not feel awkward or strange being alone.

Not surprising since you live in a dungeon.
Posted by The Boat
Member since Oct 2008
168519 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 9:09 am to
If you ever need a secure place to leak some pics you know where to go baw.
Posted by Mr Clean
Run the Ball
Member since Aug 2006
51157 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 9:10 am to
quote:

don't feel uncomfortable doing so when I'm on the road, but I definitely feel anxiety in my home town for whatever reason.


Nerd
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67777 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 9:14 am to
quote:

You *probably* aren’t going to get killed just being by yourself in a large group of strange people


I mean, I do live in Baton Rouge
Posted by chinese58
NELA. after 30 years in Dallas.
Member since Jun 2004
31180 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 11:35 am to
My first job after college was one where I was based in Dallas, but drove on I-20, through East Texas, and North Louisiana, every six weeks. I would then work in Dallas, where I had 40+ customers, for a week. The next week, I'd drive up through eastern OK to Tulsa, then cross into Arkansas, and hit NW Arkansas, down to Ft. Smith, Little Rock, Hot Springs, and then hit the East Texas towns on I-30. That loop took two weeks. Then I'd work in Dallas a week, and start over again.

I had friends in Tyler, Longview,Shreveport, and Monroe, so I enjoyed that trip.

I went to the college bars in Fayetteville, but didn't know anyone. I was by myself, and really didn't have much to talk about with those kids. Getting a haircut was the closest thing to being social I did in Muskogee.

I'd end up rewarding myself with nice meals, so I gained weight. I was glad when they reorganized the territories, and let me go. It was just before Christmas, so I took a month off, looked around, interviewed, and started a new job halfway through January.

The next job I took required driving around DFW, but I was home every night. The only times I had to travel, was for meetings, and occasional training in our Houston office. I had a great social life from that point. I stayed there for 28 years.
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
21900 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 12:36 pm to
quote:

The divorce has been final for 6 months and she’s already remarried and preggers.

She did you a favor. She is obviously nuts
This post was edited on 11/12/19 at 12:37 pm
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67777 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 2:07 pm to
I knew she was nuts. She had to be to date me for that long

When we were dating she used that crazy against other people because we were on the same team. After we were married, it was like we were suddenly on opposite teams and the crazy was blasted at me, and only me.
This post was edited on 11/12/19 at 2:09 pm
Posted by Breauxsif
Member since May 2012
22291 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 2:10 pm to
You dodged a bullet with that one. Took the “biological clock ticking” to an extreme.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
50640 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 2:21 pm to
quote:

You dodged a bullet with that one. Took the “biological clock ticking” to an extreme.

Yeah I'd rather be single than in an unhappy marriage.
Posted by sweetwaterbilly
Member since Mar 2017
19354 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 2:27 pm to
Maybe I got used to it while traveling alone for work but I have no problem going to eat or do other things alone. shite I won't even sit at the bar at a restaurant sometimes.. I'll go in by myself and get a damn booth.

I just bought individual tickets to two big concerts at Bridgestone in Nashville. Going by myself.. idgaf. I've played the game before where I bought two tickets and then would have to scurry to find someone to go with (and pay me for the ticket) or take a girl I was dating who didn't even like the band or the team playing. They're two shows I want to see and I will have no problem going by myself.

Is it weird to YOU? Or are you worried about what others think? I stopped worrying what other people think a long time ago.

ETA: Btw that wasn't supposed to seem demeaning, OP. Genuinely curious about why it makes you uncomfortable. I have been there before.
This post was edited on 11/12/19 at 2:28 pm
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
76927 posts
Posted on 11/12/19 at 2:29 pm to
quote:

Maybe I got used to it while traveling alone for work but I have no problem going to eat or do other things alone. shite I won't even sit at the bar at a restaurant sometimes.. I'll go in by myself and get a damn booth.


I've spent a good portion of my life alone, well not always alone in strange cities and countries, I absolutely love it, always an adventure, I'm going to miss that part of the job before long
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