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Started By
Message
I need help dealing with my aunt
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:47 am
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:47 am
I haven't seen my aunt in a few years, but it appears I will see her this holiday season. I need some help to put this issue to bed.
Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore. I typically just ignore it and don't respond. The other day she posted an article on her page about "Why cousins need each other."
She knows the truth, but continues to bother us. Her son is crazy. He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.
About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.
I finally cut off all contact with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.
Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore. I typically just ignore it and don't respond. The other day she posted an article on her page about "Why cousins need each other."
She knows the truth, but continues to bother us. Her son is crazy. He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.
About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.
I finally cut off all contact with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.
This post was edited on 10/16/19 at 11:05 am
46
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:48 am to I20 West
How about this:
"Aunt, your son is ate up. I dont care for that in my life."
"Aunt, your son is ate up. I dont care for that in my life."
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:49 am to I20 West
quote:
He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand.
Give him my number. I’d like to rsvp for next shindig.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:49 am to I20 West
quote:
Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore
Easy... block her arse on FB then tell her IRL that you don't want to be caught up in his frickery.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:49 am to I20 West
quote:
I haven't seen my aunt in a few years, but it appears I will see her this holiday season. I need some help to put this issue to bed.
Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore. I typically just ignore it and don't respond. The other day she posted an article on her page about "Why cousins need each other."
She knows the truth, but continues to bother us. Her son is crazy. He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.
About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.
I finally cut ties with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.
What can we do to help?
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:50 am to I20 West
"Because he's a frick up, a bad apple, a useless immature adult manchild and I have my own life that I won't let him drag down. If he wants to grow up and be a productive member of society I'll help him and be his friend. But blood ties don't mean I need to associate with destructive people."
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:50 am to I20 West
You're not very tolerant for having black friends on Facebook.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to I20 West
“Cause your son is a frickup and no one holds him accountable.”
If someone won’t get their shite together, don’t enable them.
If someone won’t get their shite together, don’t enable them.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to I20 West
Just copy and paste what you just said here and send it to her.
Then tell her unless she wants to get blocked on your social media too, don't bring the topic up to you again
ETA: pics of aunt?
quote:
He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.
About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.
I finally cut ties with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.
Then tell her unless she wants to get blocked on your social media too, don't bring the topic up to you again
ETA: pics of aunt?
This post was edited on 10/16/19 at 10:53 am
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to I20 West
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to I20 West
Get him to sign up for TD
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to I20 West
quote:
He has 3 baby mommas
I think this is the main issue, the rest is just filler. You're obviously jealous about your cousin getting laid. That's a YOU problem that we can't fix for you, only YOU can take a long look in the mirror and figure that one out.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:52 am to I20 West
Pics of said Auntie?
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:54 am to I20 West
Seems simple.
Tell her how you feel and that you do not want him in your life anymore because he is a bad apple. She can respect it or not. That isnt on you.
Tell her how you feel and that you do not want him in your life anymore because he is a bad apple. She can respect it or not. That isnt on you.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:54 am to I20 West
Tell her she’s being a hypocrite for passing him off on you and making you feel bad when she kicked him to the curb herself.
She’s got to find a way to deal with her guilt and not pass the buck to you, that’s not fair. She’s living in fantasy land where she can’t accept that her son is a POS and only he can help himself, or maybe she was a terrible parent and the catalyst of his downfall and both of them need to deal with their issues.
She’s got to find a way to deal with her guilt and not pass the buck to you, that’s not fair. She’s living in fantasy land where she can’t accept that her son is a POS and only he can help himself, or maybe she was a terrible parent and the catalyst of his downfall and both of them need to deal with their issues.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:56 am to I20 West
Maybe tell her because her son is a worthless shithead and she should have raised him better. That he is disrespectful to family and hasn’t done anything to earn back your affection since
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:56 am to I20 West
The reality is she is wanting your help, but there is nothing you can do. You can't sacrifice your existence for someone who won't help themselves. You set a healthy boundary with your cousin. She can't see that because based on what you have said about the situation, she does not appear to understand what a healthy boundary looks like.
I'd just tell her (in a nice constructive way) how you feel. Then move on and quit worrying about it. Or just cope with being around her and ignore it. Saying something probably won't do any good because (I imagine she won't understand why you feel the way you do.
Don't expect people to be anything different then what you know them to be. We get a lot less frustrated with them when we expect what we know to expect.
I'd just tell her (in a nice constructive way) how you feel. Then move on and quit worrying about it. Or just cope with being around her and ignore it. Saying something probably won't do any good because (I imagine she won't understand why you feel the way you do.
Don't expect people to be anything different then what you know them to be. We get a lot less frustrated with them when we expect what we know to expect.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:58 am to I20 West
quote:
I finally cut ties with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page.
Tell her.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:58 am to I20 West
quote:
About 10 years ago he was 25
So, he's about 35 now. She needs to stop treating her son like he's 7. Seriously, as I started reading, I figured the kid would be maybe late teens at the oldest. This is a grown adult. If he cares whether his relatives associate with him, he needs to take care of it, not his mommy.
quote:
I need help dealing with my aunt
I'd start by sending her a copy of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th paragraph of your original post. If she can't understand that, she is an idiot.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:00 am to I20 West
I would bring a gun and fire off a few rounds into the air before entering the house. It lets everyone know you mean business but aren't actually wanting to hurt anyone
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