First Mardi Gras

Sorry bro, you missed it.

All the good parades were last weekend.

The parades are boring and not worth watching. Spend your time in the French quarter with the real party people. White people in the hotel are your best bet for drugs. Don’t trust a local they don’t have shite.

There are a surprising number of bathrooms on bourbon. Collect as many good beads as you can to exchange for tit flashes. If you think the beads are subpar throw em on the ground; frick it someone else’s problem.

Eat a solid breakfast. You will need it. Search eventbrite for concerts over the weekend.

Honestly, prepare for crowds...you have probably never dealt with anything like that before. Plan on parking your car when you get there and not moving it again until you leave.

As with any large crowd, there is the danger of pickpockets, etc....keep your cash in your front pocket and don't even think of your girlfriend carrying a purse or anything like that.

Hope you are not easily offended, because you are going to see a lot of shite that you would get arrested for anywhere else in the world. However, do whatever you have to do in order to avoid pissing in the street or fighting, as that will get you arrested with quickness...and if you get arrested, you stay in Jail until Ash Wednesday before they will process anyone out.

All of that said, there is nothing like Mardi Gras...everyone should go at least one time. I haven't been in over a decade and I still smile every time I think of it!

Mardi Gras in the Quarter is an extremely overcrowded mess. I sincerely regret this will be your 1st experience of Mardi Gras having to stay there... nearly all of the crazies are from out-of-town and doing things they would never do at home... if you get overwhelmed, head out past downtown to Uptown for a more realistic, more local and less frenzied Mardi Gras experience.

She should mentally prepare for lots of groping. It is so crowded you won't even know who is doing it.

Check out nomenu .com and go to the restaurants by neighborhood section so that you find the legitimately good restaurants in the Quarter and surrounding areas like the CBD and Warehouse District rather than the tourist traps. Some reasonably priced recs are Muriel's, NOLA, Mr.B's, Coops(divy but tasty) Cafe Adelaide.

It's not the war zone people make it out to be. Bourbon St is fun especially Mardi Gras day. After Endymion on Saturday and Bacchus on Sunday the flood of people onto bourbon street will be so packed that at times you may feel your feet lose contact with the ground. It's happened to me several times and I'm 220 pounds. Do not miss those parades though. Check out a local TV news website for their routes.

If anyone starts talking to you out of the blue while you're on the street, it's probably a hustle. Be polite and walk past. You got your shoes on your feet on bourbon St or whichever street you're standing on at the time.

I mean what advice are you looking for? Ask questions, and you might receive answers.

Whatever you do, DO NOT get caught urinating in public. You will be arrested and be taken straight to the lockup.

Here is a helpful link with all the parade schedules.

LINK

If you decide you only want to go to one parade, I would suggest going to Bacchus. Don't wait an hour before it starts to go find a place to watch it. I'd suggest going find a place to watch around 1PM.. If yall will be drinking find a place close to somewhere you can go piss.

You can have fun just going up and down Bourbon St, but the best time to do that is when parades are going on.. It isn't as packed. You will see women flashing their titties for beads so if your GF isn't down with seeing shite like that then you will want to avoid it.

If you are looking for Jesus, you can find him on a few corners on Bourbon St. There is always the religious folk out there trying to "spread the message".

Someone else will know more about this than me since I haven't been to Bourbon St in the past 2 years.. But I know there was some construction work going on and there was a part of it that was blocked off. Not sure if that will be a thing or not.

If it's just you and your girl.. Don't get really drunk and act like a complete jackass. It's for your own safety.