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Your best dad jokes..

Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:21 am
Posted by bleuman
Places
Member since Sep 2009
8936 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:21 am
After reading user Blue Jay Friend's silly dad joke in the podiatrist thread, I want more!


What jokes do you have up your sleeve?

I have a few:

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

...white vans


What do you call an emo acapella group?

...self harmony


Why didn't Anne Frank finish her diary?

...concentration problems
Posted by Cuz413
Member since Nov 2007
10387 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:22 am to
quote:

Your best dad jokes..


I save all mine in a "dadabase"
Posted by Blue Jay Friend
Yes
Member since Feb 2026
264 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:27 am to
How are birthdays like margaritas?




The more you have, the less you care.
Posted by Allthatfades
Mississippi
Member since Aug 2014
8982 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:27 am to
You know how it feels when you got to go to the bathroom? Come feel of me and see if I got to go.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
134103 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:28 am to
"Dad! I'm on fire!"


"Hi on fire, I'm Dad."
Posted by VolsOut4Harambe
Atlanta, GA
Member since Sep 2017
14154 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:30 am to
"You bought a vacuum cleaner? That sucks..."
Posted by FredBear
Georgia
Member since Aug 2017
17231 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:33 am to
A couple I used to use on my girls when they were kids


What did the boy candle say to the girl candle?

Do you want to go out tonight



What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand


Hey, I don't claim they are good jokes but they sure got some eye rolls from my girls back in the day
Posted by Fe_Mike
Member since Jul 2015
3742 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:33 am to
quote:

You know how it feels when you got to go to the bathroom? Come feel of me and see if I got to go.


Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
68838 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:33 am to
What do you call a dog that can do magic?


A labracadabradore.
Posted by madmaxvol
Infinity + 1 Posts
Member since Oct 2011
21992 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:35 am to
quote:

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

...white vans



That is a keeper, right there.

What did the boy magnet say to the girl magnet?

...From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. After seeing you from the front, I find you attractive.

What do you call an nun who had a sex change?

...a transistor

Why don't photons need luggage when they go on trips?

...they're always traveling light
Posted by jwalk38
Member since Nov 2021
130 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:36 am to
I would give you a chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon.
Posted by go_tigres
Member since Sep 2013
5462 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:36 am to
Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the other one could drive.
Posted by wesfau
Member since Mar 2023
2030 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:38 am to
When does a joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline becomes...apparent.
Posted by DrewTheEngineer
Baton Rouge (Oak Hills)
Member since Jun 2006
1260 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:42 am to
Dad jokes are how eye roll
Posted by bleuman
Places
Member since Sep 2009
8936 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:43 am to
quote:

I save all mine in a "dadabase"



touche
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
155894 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:43 am to
Why is this the most requested topic on here?

These from last month.

Or these.

Or these.

Or these.

Or these.

Or these.
Posted by CaptainsWafer
TD Platinum Member
Member since Feb 2006
59205 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:44 am to
quote:

What do you call a dog that can do magic?


A labracadabradore.



What do you call a dog with no legs?








Doesn’t matter, he aint coming.
This post was edited on 2/26/26 at 8:51 am
Posted by bleuman
Places
Member since Sep 2009
8936 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:46 am to
What do you call a group of trans female superheroes?

...x-men


How do you find a blind guy at a nudist beach?

...it's not hard

Posted by ReauxlTide222
St. Petersburg
Member since Nov 2010
90109 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:50 am to
A blind man fell into a well.

He didn’t see that well.
Posted by bleuman
Places
Member since Sep 2009
8936 posts
Posted on 2/26/26 at 8:51 am to
Apologies, I am not able to live on the site as I used to.


Don't click on it if you don't fancy a chuckle.

I'll give you another one:

What do you call a disabled supermodel?

...hot wheels
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