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The narrator of "I'll be Home for Christmas" is a real piece of work

Posted on 12/26/25 at 9:58 am
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
128052 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 9:58 am
This guy, what a fricking dickbag

First of all, he says you can COUNT on him being home. So you make plans for this guy, making sure to work your life around him.

Then he sends his lists of demands:

1) Have presents on the tree. Alright well we were gonna have presents anyway. Placing them on the actual tree is a weird demand and putting little Timmy's bike on there might be logistically challenging, but let's do it.

2) Have mistletoe, alright we can do that.

3) "Have snow". Motherfricker, you want me to manipulate the weather? You think I am god? How can I promise that shite?

And then get this, after demanding weather manipulation, presents, mistletoe, and promising that he will be home...saying you can count on it...

This frickface says actually he will only be home in his dreams. He wasn't actually planning on coming for Christmas at all, so this was a whole lot of nothing.

What a dick.
Posted by canyon
MM23
Member since Dec 2003
21544 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 9:59 am to
I don’t think he’s real.
Posted by Louisianalabguy
Member since Jul 2017
1619 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:01 am to
OK, I'll bite. You couldn't be more wrong in your analysis. Go look up what the song means Ebenezer Scrooge.
Posted by GrammarKnotsi
Member since Feb 2013
10081 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:04 am to
A) narrator ?
B) he says IF ONLY
This post was edited on 12/26/25 at 10:05 am
Posted by FredBear
Georgia
Member since Aug 2017
16978 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:05 am to
quote:

This frickface says actually he will only be home in his dreams. He wasn't actually planning on coming for Christmas at all, so this was a whole lot of nothing.

What a dick.





Posted by tiger94gop
GEISMAR
Member since Nov 2004
3127 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:07 am to
Sounded funnier in your head
Posted by UKWildcats
Lexington, KY
Member since Mar 2015
18826 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:07 am to
I feel like you missed a pretty key point in the lyrics: "If only in my dreams...."
Posted by Weekend Warrior79
Member since Aug 2014
20811 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:07 am to
*Spoilers*
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133550 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:09 am to
Actually, he was dead the whole time. It's from the viewpoint of a fallen soldier
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
128052 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:10 am to
quote:

I feel like you missed a pretty key point in the lyrics: "If only in my dreams...."



quote:

This frickface says actually he will only be home in his dreams. He wasn't actually planning on coming for Christmas at all, so this was a whole lot of nothing.



He only tells them that after he gives his list of demands and makes them plan for his arrival


For those arguing that the original song is from that of a WW2 soldier stationed overseas, this is revisionism from Bing Crosby. The song was first written in 1922 as a poem
Posted by SallysHuman
Lady Palmetto Bug
Member since Jan 2025
15010 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:11 am to
quote:

B) he says IF ONLY


Only after his promise and demands.

… I'll be home for Christmas
You can plan on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents on the tree

… Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

… I'll be home for Christmas
You can plan on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents on the tree

… Christmas Eve'll find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133550 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:29 am to
quote:

The song was first written in 1922 as a poem


From the viewpoint Of a soldier
Who can only be home for Christmas in his dreams

What happened not long before that?

What would leave his loved ones longing and wishing for a Christmas return that would never happen?
This post was edited on 12/26/25 at 10:30 am
Posted by Proximo
Member since Aug 2011
22059 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:31 am to
quote:

Actually, he was dead the whole time. It's from the viewpoint of a fallen soldier

Oof
Posted by PJinAtl
Atlanta
Member since Nov 2007
14051 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 10:37 am to
I'll one up you

In Holly Jolly Christmas, the guy sings "ho, ho the mistletoe, hung where you can see. Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me."

What kind of sicko that neither me or my girl have ever met is wanting me to kiss her for him? Is he some sex pervert who gets off on stuff like that?
Posted by biglego
San Francisco
Member since Nov 2007
83198 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 11:35 am to
quote:

In Holly Jolly Christmas, the guy sings "ho, ho the mistletoe, hung where you can see. Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me."


Yeah this line is nutty. What is he even asking here? He wants me to kiss some random chick but think of him while I do it? Or kiss her and then tell her “this kiss is on behalf of this other dude”
Posted by Salviati
Member since Apr 2006
7179 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 2:01 pm to
quote:

quote:

The song was first written in 1922 as a poem
From the viewpoint Of a soldier
Who can only be home for Christmas in his dreams

What happened not long before that?

What would leave his loved ones longing and wishing for a Christmas return that would never happen?
My mom went to University of Illinois. The song was written by a fellow Illini. He was a student, not a soldier. He wrote the poem to his mom.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133550 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 2:06 pm to
Well well well, once again the boring truth rearing its ugly head to spoil a good story
Posted by cypresstiger
The South
Member since Aug 2008
13497 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 2:08 pm to
OP should come out of the Lockett Hall basement sometimes and get some fresh air and sunshine
Posted by Pitt Road
Mid-Florida
Member since Aug 2017
1090 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 2:35 pm to
quote:

OP should come out of the Lockett Hall basement sometimes and get some fresh air and sunshine

Wait until the OP finds out Santa's not real. He's really going to lose it!
Posted by pussywillows
Member since Dec 2009
6493 posts
Posted on 12/26/25 at 2:43 pm to
quote:

The song was written by a fellow Illini. He was a student, not a soldier. He wrote the poem to his mom.


wrong...about the lyricist:

quote:

Gannon was born in Brooklyn, New York to an Irish-American family from Fort Ann in upstate New York, but grew up in New Jersey where he attended Montclair High School and was a member of Omega Gamma Delta fraternity. He graduated from St. Lawrence University and, intending to become a lawyer, attended the Albany Law School, passing the bar examination in New York State in 1934.


about the song:

quote:

The song is sung from the point of view of a soldier stationed overseas during World War II, writing a letter to his family. In the message, he tells his family he will be coming home and to prepare the holiday for him, and requests snow, mistletoe, and presents "on" the tree. The song ends on a melancholy note, with the soldier saying, "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams".
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