- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Any divorced dads out there with full custody...
Posted on 10/8/25 at 3:51 pm
Posted on 10/8/25 at 3:51 pm
watch their ex completely spiral? If so, how'd you handle it? Not just with your kids but with your self?
A little context; the ex and I have been separated/divorced for a little over 3 years now and I have full custody of the kids. When we separated she basically just left the kids with me to go pursue her "freedom" which, honestly, i was fine with because i wanted nothing to do with her any more. While i was struggling with raising 2 young kids by myself and working a fairly demanding full time job she was out partying and essentially acting like a teenager. The whole time im just watching this and keeping my mouth shut because i knew exactly how this was going to play out. I thought it would be funny. I thought it would make me happy to see her destroy her self after everything she put me and my kids through.
Its not, though. Shes living out of a hotel, pretty sure shes on drugs, rarely sees her kids (by her own choosing, the only times i have denied access to them is if she refuses to meet me half way on getting them to her) and has had more jobs over this 3 year stretch than i have had in my entire life. I can easily see a scenario where she is dead in the next few years. I thought it would be good for my oldest to learn for himself what a train wreck of a person his mother is, it hasnt been. My 4yo daughter doesnt even really understand what role a mother should play in her life because shes essentially never had one. I know they love their mom and i dont disparage her in front of them, i actually never even talk about her to them unless they ask me something directly. Even then i kind of just avoid/pacify.
All of that said, the situation sucks. Ive been waiting for this moment and now that its here its extremely depressing. Like, my sons last regular season football game is this afternoon and she hasnt even attempted to make one of them and i know he's going to be devastated (again, just like he was the first game) that she didnt show up. It sucks to see a person you spent a decade with as your other half just do a complete 180 and turn in to something/someone you dont even recognize. Its even worse to see someone completely abandon their kids especially when youre the one that has to pick up the pieces.
Sorry for the wall of text. While i know im far from alone in having to deal with shite like this, i personally dont know anyone that has so just kind of venting into the void.
A little context; the ex and I have been separated/divorced for a little over 3 years now and I have full custody of the kids. When we separated she basically just left the kids with me to go pursue her "freedom" which, honestly, i was fine with because i wanted nothing to do with her any more. While i was struggling with raising 2 young kids by myself and working a fairly demanding full time job she was out partying and essentially acting like a teenager. The whole time im just watching this and keeping my mouth shut because i knew exactly how this was going to play out. I thought it would be funny. I thought it would make me happy to see her destroy her self after everything she put me and my kids through.
Its not, though. Shes living out of a hotel, pretty sure shes on drugs, rarely sees her kids (by her own choosing, the only times i have denied access to them is if she refuses to meet me half way on getting them to her) and has had more jobs over this 3 year stretch than i have had in my entire life. I can easily see a scenario where she is dead in the next few years. I thought it would be good for my oldest to learn for himself what a train wreck of a person his mother is, it hasnt been. My 4yo daughter doesnt even really understand what role a mother should play in her life because shes essentially never had one. I know they love their mom and i dont disparage her in front of them, i actually never even talk about her to them unless they ask me something directly. Even then i kind of just avoid/pacify.
All of that said, the situation sucks. Ive been waiting for this moment and now that its here its extremely depressing. Like, my sons last regular season football game is this afternoon and she hasnt even attempted to make one of them and i know he's going to be devastated (again, just like he was the first game) that she didnt show up. It sucks to see a person you spent a decade with as your other half just do a complete 180 and turn in to something/someone you dont even recognize. Its even worse to see someone completely abandon their kids especially when youre the one that has to pick up the pieces.
Sorry for the wall of text. While i know im far from alone in having to deal with shite like this, i personally dont know anyone that has so just kind of venting into the void.
31
Posted on 10/8/25 at 3:55 pm to Afrojedi
I have been through almost that exact scenario. Two years after the divorce, I remarried and the ex overdosed and passed away. My wife came into my kids lives when they were 6 and 10 yrs old and they have seen what a real mother is. It will all work out
Posted on 10/8/25 at 3:55 pm to Afrojedi
Sorry about that man. All you can do is be there for your kids and be the best dad you can be.
This post was edited on 10/8/25 at 4:05 pm
Posted on 10/8/25 at 3:56 pm to Afrojedi
I was on the other side of something like that as the kid. My dad raised me and my brother. I was around 8 when the parents divorced. Didn't see much of my mother. She got remarried pretty quickly and had more kids.
It was tough growing up without a mom. Dad did what he could but didn't have a mom's touch. There are feelings of resentment, why doesn't mom love me. Jealousy over kids who have moms.
Be there for them and whatever their feelings are. They'll miss her, or at least for your daughter miss not having a mom.
When they get old enough to better understand, they'll treasure your sacrifice and appreciate you all that much more.
It was tough growing up without a mom. Dad did what he could but didn't have a mom's touch. There are feelings of resentment, why doesn't mom love me. Jealousy over kids who have moms.
Be there for them and whatever their feelings are. They'll miss her, or at least for your daughter miss not having a mom.
When they get old enough to better understand, they'll treasure your sacrifice and appreciate you all that much more.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:05 pm to Afrojedi
I think the best any parent can do in a situation like this is let their child know that they are loved, and that they can talk to you about anything.
Ultimately I believe these are things that the child has to come to terms with in their own lifetime but having a loving supportive father will help them when that time comes
Ultimately I believe these are things that the child has to come to terms with in their own lifetime but having a loving supportive father will help them when that time comes
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:08 pm to Afrojedi
Damn. You’re a better man than me.
Seriously. The amount of restraint and self-control it takes to bite your tongue, keep things stable for your kids, and not weaponize your ex’s mess against her is incredible.
I’ve got young kids too, and I can’t imagine doing it alone, especially after being put in that position by choice. Stay the course, man. One day, your kids are going to know exactly who their Dad is and who you are as a person.
Seriously. The amount of restraint and self-control it takes to bite your tongue, keep things stable for your kids, and not weaponize your ex’s mess against her is incredible.
I’ve got young kids too, and I can’t imagine doing it alone, especially after being put in that position by choice. Stay the course, man. One day, your kids are going to know exactly who their Dad is and who you are as a person.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:19 pm to Afrojedi
3 kids on my own that are now high school aged and doing great.
quote:
I can easily see a scenario where she is dead in the next few years.
I was expecting the same scenario from my ex.
Careful - Mine popped back, then took me to court wanting back pay child support for the two years she disappeared. (she didn't get it)
The court system in this state will always favor the mother.
Department of Child Services is a hen house full of man haters.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:20 pm to Afrojedi
I’m sorry to hear this, but why do so many of you guys get wrapped up with women like this?
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:23 pm to Afrojedi
Man dude that sucks. Cherish your kids though and be there.
As a fellow divorced dad without nearly the ex you have I can only partially sympathize.
As a fellow divorced dad without nearly the ex you have I can only partially sympathize.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:29 pm to Afrojedi
Sorry that you are having to deal with this, man. Sounds like she just went off the rails. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking there was anything you could do, because she likely would have just taken you and the kids down as well.
Also be aware that basically you and the kids are grieving her loss…so don’t be afraid to get some level of counseling if it will help you or the kids.
Sounds to me like you are doing the right things….stay the course and it will eventually smooth out for you.
Also be aware that basically you and the kids are grieving her loss…so don’t be afraid to get some level of counseling if it will help you or the kids.
Sounds to me like you are doing the right things….stay the course and it will eventually smooth out for you.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:35 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
I’m sorry to hear this, but why do so many of you guys get wrapped up with women like this?
I was married to my ex for over 15 years. She didn't go crazy and start smoking meth until right before her 40th birthday. Thanks, Facebook
I can't stress it enough - 40TH BIRTHDAY IS WHEN WOMEN LOSE THIER shite
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:36 pm to Afrojedi
You need to shield your kids from their mother. They don't need to see that.
Hopefully you will find a good woman that will be a good step- mom.
Hopefully you will find a good woman that will be a good step- mom.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:37 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:it obviously wasnt the dudes choice man.
I’m sorry to hear this, but why do so many of you guys get wrapped up with women like this?
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:38 pm to Afrojedi
I only know of one case where it happened. My bulimic ex who binged and purged throughout her pregnancy and breastfeeding and needs fistfuls of meds to get through her lazy arse life isn’t even getting close to hitting the threshold for removal. I would basically need a video of her shooting it heroin with my kid cooking the spoon for it to be considered. Family court is where dues go to get fricked.
I know it’s not easy to hear this but you’re actually one of the lucky ones in this situation. She could be doing all of that shite and you would at best get 50/50 custody and she would be destroying your kids lives while you pay for her to do it.
And btw thanks for being a good dad to your kids. They needed it.
I know it’s not easy to hear this but you’re actually one of the lucky ones in this situation. She could be doing all of that shite and you would at best get 50/50 custody and she would be destroying your kids lives while you pay for her to do it.
And btw thanks for being a good dad to your kids. They needed it.
This post was edited on 10/8/25 at 4:52 pm
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:40 pm to Afrojedi
Sad deal. You were probably in a state of mental degradation and hopelessness yourself if you ever thought you’d enjoy seeing the self destruction of the mother of your children.
Divorce if you will, but there is no real divorce once you bring babies into this world. If I am you, I seek to intervene, help her clean up and be a friend, and get her involved in the kids lives. I promise they’ll be fricked up with no mom and lots of questions. One way or another.
Divorce if you will, but there is no real divorce once you bring babies into this world. If I am you, I seek to intervene, help her clean up and be a friend, and get her involved in the kids lives. I promise they’ll be fricked up with no mom and lots of questions. One way or another.
This post was edited on 10/8/25 at 4:44 pm
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:44 pm to Afrojedi
quote:
thought it would be good for my oldest to learn for himself what a train wreck of a person his mother is
Just remember that no matter what she does and how pissed off you are, to him she’s his mother and can do no wrong.
I raised one alone from 7-8 years old till nearly 19 (12-7-2025).
Mine’s mother is a terrible alcoholic and has let it destroy her entire life, last I heard she was living in a camper and had just gotten out of jail for 2nd offense DWI / Drug Possession and resisting arrest.
We haven’t seen nor talked to her in over two years, it’s rough on kids.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:55 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
why do so many of you guys get wrapped up with women like this?
Because seemingly normal adults can do a 180 in their lives and go off the deep end especially when drugs and/or alcohol is involved
Posted on 10/8/25 at 4:58 pm to Gnash
quote:
Because seemingly normal adults can do a 180 in their lives and go off the deep end especially when drugs and/or alcohol is involved
Of course, but the problem is so many for you want to portray the exceptions as the rule. It’s also typically the people that wind up getting divorced and/or involved in similar relationships numerous times. At some point, you have to question your judgment.
Posted on 10/8/25 at 5:02 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
I’m sorry to hear this, but why do so many of you guys get wrapped up with women like this?
Couple of reasons:
Sometimes good people with zero red flags can change for the worse....and quickly. This is especially true if infidelity, drug abuse, and alcohol abuse become more common in social circle (and all three of those are almost certainly fatal for a marriage). Social circles change too - sometimes not for the better. How well do you know your wife's new coworkers?
Good people sometimes make bad decisions on partners/spouses at times by ignoring red flags because they care about the person that much. A lot of times people care for someone deep enough to ignore a few issues or discount how problematic some issues are. When things get tough, these problems tend to be a flashpoint. Marriages where one or both partners overlooked some issues are much higher maintenance; and not everyone can handle that especially when things get tough.
This post was edited on 10/8/25 at 5:05 pm
Posted on 10/8/25 at 5:06 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:pussy
I’m sorry to hear this, but why do so many of you guys get wrapped up with women like this?
Page 1 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News