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How can you cope with the loss of a parent?

Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:07 am
Posted by toosleaux
Stuck in Baton Rouge traffic
Member since Dec 2007
9364 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:07 am
The grief and the pain is unbearable. Two months and it's only gotten worse. How can you come to grips with the fact you will never see your dad again? I feel like my whole world has come to an end. Can't eat, can't sleep, can barely function at work. It's just so hard.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
130691 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:11 am to
I'm sorry friend. I don't know that pain yet but I know losing people that helped raise you is always gut wrenching. All you can do is celebrate their memory and pay the love they showed you and others forward.

You are the torch they lit to light up the lives of others. Pass on their light
Posted by Lonnie Utah
Utah!
Member since Jul 2012
29296 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:12 am to
Honestly, and this is not meant to be snarky, I would seek counseling. Helped my wife tremendously when she lost her parents.
Posted by N2cars
Member since Feb 2008
34823 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:14 am to
Google griefshare.org.

Attend the sessions.

It works.
Posted by Jetstream 2000
Member since Jan 2021
223 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:15 am to
The hole in your heart is always there but remember all the good things they did for you and others and try your best to carry on in that spirit.
This post was edited on 6/7/25 at 8:16 am
Posted by riverdiver
Summerville SC
Member since May 2022
2198 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:18 am to
Time. It takes time.

I was adopted as a newborn. Dad died in 1993. Hit me hard, took some time to get over it. Add to that I never knew I was adopted until right before he passed. I know essentially none of the details with the exception that my birth mother passed and my birth father may have attended the Naval Academy, so I have no idea what natural family I may have. I’m 64, now and then I still talk to him.
Posted by tigerinthebueche
Member since Oct 2010
37064 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:20 am to
Lost my father in 2018. You’ll never quit missing him, but it does get better. This may sound corny, but I never feel like he’s really gone. Something always happens and my internal thoughts seem like an actual conversation with him. Hope you find similar comfort at some point.
Posted by Zap Rowsdower
MissLou, La
Member since Sep 2010
14612 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:20 am to
There’s no one size fits all strategy or plan. I can tell you one of the things that helped me was reaching out to his group of friends and going and spending time with them. They missed their buddy something fierce and I think us spending time together just BSing and visiting went a long way in helping all of us.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
283258 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:22 am to
I've lost both. You dont get over it, but the pain does become less over time.

The weirdest part is knowing youre now at the top of the family, and the one people will come to.

Posted by tigerinthebueche
Member since Oct 2010
37064 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:25 am to
quote:

The weirdest part is knowing youre now at the top of the family, and the one people will come to.


You know what else is weird? Realizing you’re closer to the end as well. It hit harder for me after my dad died.
Posted by Furious
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2023
1027 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:27 am to
quote:

How can you come to grips with the fact you will never see your dad again?


Have faith. We will all be reunited in the next life. That is Christ’s promise for those that believe in Him.
Posted by wallowinit
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2006
16089 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:28 am to
One of the more effective ways I cope with losing my young wife last year is to look around and come to the realization that about half the people walking around this world have gone through this and many have even experienced much worse and they’re still walking around functioning so therefore I can do it too.
That’s just one way. I do all sorts of mental gymnastics to cope.
The best revenge is to live well.
Posted by GeauxldMember
Member since Nov 2003
5013 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:30 am to
quote:

You know what else is weird? Realizing you’re closer to the end as well. It hit harder for me after my dad died.


This is no joke. When my dad died, this definitely happened to me, to the point I was having panic attacks. OP— like another poster said, go talk to someone. I did, and it really helped me process my grief in a healthy way.
Posted by biglego
San Francisco
Member since Nov 2007
80541 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:32 am to
quote:

How can you cope with the loss of a parent?


I lost my dad five years ago. He was only 67 and the worst part was/is my mom’s grief. They didn’t have much time to enjoy retired life together.

My dad told me he didn’t want anyone to carry on upset. Just remember him as a good man who tried his best, and move on with our lives. Bc what else can you do? His words helped.

My grief was also made easier by my understanding that this is simply what happens in life. Parents are supposed to pass away before their children. My oldest daughter suffered severe brain injury when she was 18 months old. She has a shortened life span now. My wife and I try to never think about it, but we know we’ll have to bury our daughter one day. It hurts to even type that out. That’s not the natural order of things and I can’t accept it so readily. The prospect of burying my child is so dreadful that I’m almost numb to the death of my parents.
This post was edited on 6/7/25 at 2:33 pm
Posted by Sofaking2
Member since Apr 2023
13511 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:33 am to
quote:

Lost my father in 2018. You’ll never quit missing him, but it does get better. This may sound corny, but I never feel like he’s really gone. Something always happens and my internal thoughts seem like an actual conversation with him. Hope you find similar comfort at some point.

This is similar to my feelings. Also, my faith has always been a huge comfort to me.
Posted by biglego
San Francisco
Member since Nov 2007
80541 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:33 am to
quote:

You know what else is weird? Realizing you’re closer to the end as well. It hit harder for me after my dad died.


Yes. You’re sort of “next in line”
Posted by ddbnsb
Raised in New Orleans
Member since Dec 2005
3376 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:34 am to
I miss them both but I've tried to think that I'm only feeling sorry for myself, and yet realize that they are in a better place. I try to feel happy for them instead.

Hope that help, tho it probably doesn't help much.
Posted by tgrmeat
Member since Sep 2020
5108 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:35 am to
My dad has been dead a year and I still pick up the phone to call or text him about certain things just out of reflex. It’s not easy but know that it will get easier.
Posted by L1C4
The Ville
Member since Aug 2017
15561 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:35 am to
You take it one day at a time.
But it sound like you may need to ask for help.
Posted by stogie5150
Slidell,LA
Member since Aug 2022
32 posts
Posted on 6/7/25 at 8:37 am to
Everybody going to tell you to get therapy, I dont think thats a bad idea. I wish I would have.

I lost my Dad on August 22, 2003. He was my Dad, but also my Podna. All the things we did together I can no longer do. No hunting, no fishing, can't do it. Too many memories. Its terrible. I had to take up other hobbies because I didnt have my Podna anymore, and without my Podna, I just lost interest.

Lost my Mom 12/25/18...she was Mom...you won't get another.

I wish I would have talked to someone when I had the chance. Too much water under the bridge now, what's done is done, and there is no fixing it. Just have to learn to live with it, which is a daily battle.
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