- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Raising Children In America
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:11 am
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:11 am
About one hour ago I was told that I am going to be a father.
As I was getting dressed for work the wife and I were having a little discussion about boys and girls, who we thought were easier to raise. She thinks girls, I was insistent on boys. As I was sitting on the side of the bed putting on my shoes, she said “well, you better hope this one’s a boy.” It took a second…then I froze, turned and looked behind me at her laying in bed, smiling. She found out July 1 and had been trying to think of some creative way to tell me, something special and big, but decided on the moment to just simply tell me.
Now, it really is like my world has changed. And I’m thinking of raising my child in this country, in this time, in this environment.
I could use some advice, some lessons learned by people.
Thank you.
As I was getting dressed for work the wife and I were having a little discussion about boys and girls, who we thought were easier to raise. She thinks girls, I was insistent on boys. As I was sitting on the side of the bed putting on my shoes, she said “well, you better hope this one’s a boy.” It took a second…then I froze, turned and looked behind me at her laying in bed, smiling. She found out July 1 and had been trying to think of some creative way to tell me, something special and big, but decided on the moment to just simply tell me.
Now, it really is like my world has changed. And I’m thinking of raising my child in this country, in this time, in this environment.
I could use some advice, some lessons learned by people.
Thank you.
33
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:17 am to LuckyTiger
Put him/her in sports (or something) to occupy their time, get out of the house and away from machines/screens.
And keep them in it as long as possible, hopefully through high school.
And keep them in it as long as possible, hopefully through high school.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:18 am to LuckyTiger
First off, congratulations!
I have a senior in HS who is a super Trump fan and a 4 year old.
For advice, I’d say number 1 is be patient. Watch the series Bluey. You’ll never live up to Bandit, but damn if he’s not the best example of a father I’ve ever seen on film. Don’t do everything for them. Let them try themselves and help after they ask. This lets them develop independence and confidence.
Lastly, understand that while you will have to discipline them, and children absolutely have to have boundaries, every moment you spend with them will be the last chance you’ll ever have to have that moment. How do you want them to remember it?
I have lots more, but I’ll leave it there. You’re about to experience a level of love and heartache you’ve yet to experience and it’s a true blessing. Remember, none of us really are perfect. Ever. You won’t be either. And that’s ok.
I have a senior in HS who is a super Trump fan and a 4 year old.
For advice, I’d say number 1 is be patient. Watch the series Bluey. You’ll never live up to Bandit, but damn if he’s not the best example of a father I’ve ever seen on film. Don’t do everything for them. Let them try themselves and help after they ask. This lets them develop independence and confidence.
Lastly, understand that while you will have to discipline them, and children absolutely have to have boundaries, every moment you spend with them will be the last chance you’ll ever have to have that moment. How do you want them to remember it?
I have lots more, but I’ll leave it there. You’re about to experience a level of love and heartache you’ve yet to experience and it’s a true blessing. Remember, none of us really are perfect. Ever. You won’t be either. And that’s ok.
This post was edited on 7/8/24 at 8:20 am
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:20 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
She found out July 1 and had been trying to think of some creative way to tell me, something special and big, but decided on the moment to just simply tell me.
She knew y’all were having a kid for a week before telling you?
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:20 am to LuckyTiger
Keep them away from screens and the internet as long as possible. Have them play outside and learn how to socialize with people. Resist the temptation of giving them a phone/tablet.
Let them be a kid - the internet and screens slowly robs them of their innocence.
Let them be a kid - the internet and screens slowly robs them of their innocence.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:22 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
As I was getting dressed for work the wife and I were having a little discussion about boys and girls, who we thought were easier to raise. She thinks girls, I was insistent on boys. As I was sitting on the side of the bed putting on my shoes, she said “well, you better hope this one’s a boy.” It took a second…then I froze, turned and looked behind me at her laying in bed, smiling. She found out July 1 and had been trying to think of some creative way to tell me, something special and big, but decided on the moment to just simply tell me.
Oh great, more bigots teaching their children hate
Hopefully their teachers will be there to educate them on gender since the parents are science deniers
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:23 am to LuckyTiger
No phones. For as long as you can hold out.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:25 am to LuckyTiger
My two main regrets raising a child in this century:
I exposed them to too much screen time too soon. And being fair… I was pretty conservative with it. I needed to be even more conservative. So take whatever you think is appropriate, and half it.
Also… I did not have the means to travel with them more than I did. But I would have wanted them to see more of the world before adulthood.
My kids turned out smart and have good morals… but I don’t find them to have a lot of experience with practical things. They know things. They just haven’t been challenged enough.
I exposed them to too much screen time too soon. And being fair… I was pretty conservative with it. I needed to be even more conservative. So take whatever you think is appropriate, and half it.
Also… I did not have the means to travel with them more than I did. But I would have wanted them to see more of the world before adulthood.
My kids turned out smart and have good morals… but I don’t find them to have a lot of experience with practical things. They know things. They just haven’t been challenged enough.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:34 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats..
Two boys one in college and high school. In general.. They will build their personality on the environment you expose them too throughout.. boys at heart are feral and need to roam, take risks, and discover how to navigate life .. learn to lead and learn to follow as both are traits needed.
Girls seem to be easier in the physical well being side but the emotional seems tougher based on the experiences I see
Good luck. I miss the stages more and more as mine transition to adulthood. I can’t wait to be a grandfather and experience the stages again.
Two boys one in college and high school. In general.. They will build their personality on the environment you expose them too throughout.. boys at heart are feral and need to roam, take risks, and discover how to navigate life .. learn to lead and learn to follow as both are traits needed.
Girls seem to be easier in the physical well being side but the emotional seems tougher based on the experiences I see
Good luck. I miss the stages more and more as mine transition to adulthood. I can’t wait to be a grandfather and experience the stages again.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:35 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats....that's great news and it is great that you are looking at this seriously and pondering this. If you and your wife maintain this careful attention, you will do fine.
-Keep them away from social media as long as possible
-If you can swing a Christian or private school and steer you kids to be friends with good solid parents that believe in the same way on phones, socials, etc. That helps eliminate some of the peer pressure that will be aimed at you for not having a phone yet or being on socials.
-don't use electronics to be baby sitters in restaurants, at home, etc
-be involved in their lives immensely, that will benefit the entire family now and in the future. It's tough and tiring but it is worth it.
-I'll say it again, phones, texting, social media, keep that at bay as long as possible and then some more. The kids are anxiety ridden because of this . Bullying doesn't stop when they leave school, anxiety of knowing what everybody is doing and not being invited to all those things, things getting turned around and misunderstood in texts, etc. These last 2 or 3 generations are full of anxiety now and this is why.
-Keep them away from social media as long as possible
-If you can swing a Christian or private school and steer you kids to be friends with good solid parents that believe in the same way on phones, socials, etc. That helps eliminate some of the peer pressure that will be aimed at you for not having a phone yet or being on socials.
-don't use electronics to be baby sitters in restaurants, at home, etc
-be involved in their lives immensely, that will benefit the entire family now and in the future. It's tough and tiring but it is worth it.
-I'll say it again, phones, texting, social media, keep that at bay as long as possible and then some more. The kids are anxiety ridden because of this . Bullying doesn't stop when they leave school, anxiety of knowing what everybody is doing and not being invited to all those things, things getting turned around and misunderstood in texts, etc. These last 2 or 3 generations are full of anxiety now and this is why.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:37 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats
quote:
Resist the temptation of giving them a phone/tablet.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:43 am to LuckyTiger
It's not difficult. Be involved with them. They are going to learn from you how to interact with the world so follow through with your responsibilities, be polite and respectful of others, avoid acting like others owe you something and engage in as few trashy behaviors as you can. A stable home with consistency and emotional warmth goes a long way.
I have had zero trouble out of my kids of either sexes. The teen years have been no problem. They do their school work, their home and part time job responsibilities without nagging.
I have had zero trouble out of my kids of either sexes. The teen years have been no problem. They do their school work, their home and part time job responsibilities without nagging.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:46 am to LuckyTiger
I only have boys, but would recommend getting them in physical sports (football, wrestling, BJJ). Let them get in fights, and learn from them. Let them explore in the woods, give them tools and let them build things even at a young age. Take them hinting and fishing, and show them where their food comes from and what is involved. Go to church every week, even if you are not religous, just do it anyways. It teaches consistency, and how to be still and present. Family prayer night once a week, and you lead it. As the kids get older, let them try leading. No screens, unless in special circumstances like traveling. Expose them to good music, good movies, good stories at a young age. Teach them how to think, not what to think, this means they will be set for life no matter the ever changing circumstances.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:47 am to 9Fiddy
quote:Damn, smart kid. Local news will do a story on him.
I have a senior in HS who is a super Trump fan and a 4 year old.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:48 am to LuckyTiger
I’m only a few years into it so I really don’t know anything other than it goes by so fast. With a young boy it’s important to let them learn things on their own, get hurt, get in a little trouble. Not hovering will foster the boldness that they are going to need. Probably common sense, but it is more challenging than you’d think with the first one. The granola gentle parenting school has a big voice now. I agree with a lot of it, but it’s important for my sons to know that the rest of the world is never going to give a shite about what a white boy’s feelings are. Just communicating that you are upset may make you feel better, but changes nothing else.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:50 am to LuckyTiger
Don't blink. It goes by fast.
Let them get dirty and drink from the water hose.
Congrats
Let them get dirty and drink from the water hose.
Congrats
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:52 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
the wife and I were having a little discussion about boys and girls, who we thought were easier to raise
I know it's not exactly the subject matter, but...
Having raised 3 boys and 2 girls between us, Mrs. Axe and I both concluded that puberty is the milestone of metamorphosis for both boys and girls. Before it, boys are more unpredictable and high strung, and after it they become very linear and predictable. Before it, girls are really just sweet little princesses for the most part, while after it they absolutely lose their fricking minds and senses.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:56 am to LuckyTiger
Keep them close. Our boys were always with us and it has paid off in these latter years (they are 20 and 16).
We are Christian and raised them in church…while they have been involved with youth they always sat (sit) with us in service and were often in Sunday School classes that I taught. It is important for them to be around adults and able to hold conversations.
I do a father son birthday dinner one on one each year where the conversation is no holds barred. I also write them a birthday letter commending the good, correcting the bad and laying out expectations for the coming year.
The birthday dinner the year after sex ed was umm, interesting. It is the fastest I’ve ever eaten a steak.
We are Christian and raised them in church…while they have been involved with youth they always sat (sit) with us in service and were often in Sunday School classes that I taught. It is important for them to be around adults and able to hold conversations.
I do a father son birthday dinner one on one each year where the conversation is no holds barred. I also write them a birthday letter commending the good, correcting the bad and laying out expectations for the coming year.
The birthday dinner the year after sex ed was umm, interesting. It is the fastest I’ve ever eaten a steak.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 8:59 am to LuckyTiger
First off, congratulations and welcome to the club! Get ready for a wild ride of extreme joy and heartache. They will test you and you will find out what kind of person you really are. I have 2 boys, 22 and 17. One followed in my footsteps and is a Fire Fighter here where we live and the other is a Senior in high school and will most likely go to college. I can say that they both have been extremely easy to raise and have given me and my wife no major problems. Of course they told a fib every now and then and broke stuff around the house ruff housing but overall they were great! The only explanation for this is that we raised them to be God fearing young men who love the Lord and that they show respect to others and that they treated people as they wanted to be treated and that there were always consequences for their actions and this included spankings, time outs and taking toys or activities away. They got mad and threw a fit sometimes but they learned to change their behavior.
We let them know early that we were not their friends and that they weren't going to be able to do whatever they wanted to do whenever they wanted to do it. This is key to not letting them become entitled. Since I was a fire fighter, I had several side jobs, mowing yards, building fences and assembling wooden swing sets and such. Once they got older, I always took them along and showed them how to work and that doing a good job matters. It has served them well as they know how to fix things on their own, can change the oil in their cars and change a tire. Seems like small stuff but the majority of their friends are entitled brats who can't fix a thing and would be stranded on the side of the road if they had a flat tire.
To be quite honest, It wasn't really all that hard. Be consistent in what you do, live out what you say and don't threaten, be prepared to follow through with you punishments but the real key is to love them and tell them that every day and show it. I still give my boys hugs and a kiss on the cheek. I always tell them that you're never too old to tell your old man you love him and give him a hug. I wish I could still give my dad a hug.
On another note, the oldest is getting married in December and he doesn't hang around as much as he used too so that has been hard. I'm having to let go even more than before and know that he's starting a family of his own. They grow up quicker than you think so cherish every moment you have!
Well, enough of my rambling, once again congratulations and you're in for a treat and one of the best things you can ever do in life is raise a child.
We let them know early that we were not their friends and that they weren't going to be able to do whatever they wanted to do whenever they wanted to do it. This is key to not letting them become entitled. Since I was a fire fighter, I had several side jobs, mowing yards, building fences and assembling wooden swing sets and such. Once they got older, I always took them along and showed them how to work and that doing a good job matters. It has served them well as they know how to fix things on their own, can change the oil in their cars and change a tire. Seems like small stuff but the majority of their friends are entitled brats who can't fix a thing and would be stranded on the side of the road if they had a flat tire.
To be quite honest, It wasn't really all that hard. Be consistent in what you do, live out what you say and don't threaten, be prepared to follow through with you punishments but the real key is to love them and tell them that every day and show it. I still give my boys hugs and a kiss on the cheek. I always tell them that you're never too old to tell your old man you love him and give him a hug. I wish I could still give my dad a hug.
On another note, the oldest is getting married in December and he doesn't hang around as much as he used too so that has been hard. I'm having to let go even more than before and know that he's starting a family of his own. They grow up quicker than you think so cherish every moment you have!
Well, enough of my rambling, once again congratulations and you're in for a treat and one of the best things you can ever do in life is raise a child.
This post was edited on 7/8/24 at 9:04 am
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News