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re: Reaching out to old former friends and girl friends
Posted on 8/10/23 at 7:16 am to I B Freeman
Posted on 8/10/23 at 7:16 am to I B Freeman
My thought has always been if they escaped my orbit then there was a reason for it; be it their reason or mine. I don't much thought in it. I tend to follow papa's mantra:
"frick them and feed them fishheads."
"frick them and feed them fishheads."
0
Posted on 8/10/23 at 7:45 am to tigerstripedjacket
quote:
People trash on smaller towns and rural parishes, but I still have many friends from early grade school through high school that I spend time with regularly. This is common for most people around here who didn’t fall into drugs.
This isn’t unique to smaller towns or rural areas. It’s that way for a lot of people from bigger cities too.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 7:45 am to I B Freeman
Reaching out, touching you, touching me
Posted on 8/10/23 at 7:50 am to Hangit
Exactly. That’s basically all I use FB for…
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:02 am to I B Freeman
Friends, yes.
Old flames? Bad idea.
Old flames? Bad idea.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:09 am to I B Freeman
Haven't seen her in 40 years? You too old for booty calls.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:14 am to I B Freeman
quote:
What have been some of your experiences doing such things?
Personal, real, human, face to face interaction with friends (old and new) is always a priority to me.
A relationship just based on texting is not a relationship IMO
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:27 am to I B Freeman
I think your intentions are the key.
If you are just keeping touch to say hello and they are no romantic feelings or motivations then it can be done. I know with my ex girlfriends that I’m friends with on social I don’t have romantic interest in them wish them all the best, say congratulations when they, family or children reach milestones. I’ve accepted along time ago you broke up for a reason and looking back on hindsight I wouldn’t want to rekindle something that didn’t work the first time.
However, if either party has romantic intentions it’s not a good idea.
If you are just keeping touch to say hello and they are no romantic feelings or motivations then it can be done. I know with my ex girlfriends that I’m friends with on social I don’t have romantic interest in them wish them all the best, say congratulations when they, family or children reach milestones. I’ve accepted along time ago you broke up for a reason and looking back on hindsight I wouldn’t want to rekindle something that didn’t work the first time.
However, if either party has romantic intentions it’s not a good idea.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:29 am to I B Freeman
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:30 am to I B Freeman
Leave well enough alone
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:38 am to I B Freeman
Unless you are both single there is absolutely no reason to look up old paramours. If you were friends for a long time then dated briefly, that's still an "iffy" area as it can still be seen by the SO's of both parties as an attempt to rekindle a flame. It's a slippery slope and the best way to avoid a slippery slope situation is to avoid the slippery slope altogether.
In today's social media world, the best thing to do in order to meet up with old friends is to simply post on social media (that you are both on) that you plan to be in the area within x timeframe and that if anyone in that area wants to meet up for lunch/coffee then they should shoot you a PM.
In today's social media world, the best thing to do in order to meet up with old friends is to simply post on social media (that you are both on) that you plan to be in the area within x timeframe and that if anyone in that area wants to meet up for lunch/coffee then they should shoot you a PM.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:50 am to I B Freeman
For reasons that even I can't figure out, I'll give you a serious answer, or at least response.
(1) Are you married? If so, what would your wife think of this? Have you considered asking her before trying? If she doesn't like the idea, would you abandon it? Would you tell her afterward? If any of that gives you serious pause, then don't do it.
(2) Is this old flame from forty years ago married? For many people these days, a little basic Internet stalking would tell you whether they're married. What do you suppose her husband would think? Maybe try approaching her or both of them before the trip, if you aren't dissuaded yet.
(3) Sometimes it's great to catch up with someone from that long ago, but sometimes it's just weird. Indeed keep any planned meeting brief and low-stakes, like coffee at a public place. Some basic Internet stalking (see above) might give you some clues about how it would be likely to go.
(4) If none of the above has dissuaded you, sure, go for it--just go in with low expectations and the plan to be pleasantly surprised by any notably-good outcome.
That'll be $0.05.
(1) Are you married? If so, what would your wife think of this? Have you considered asking her before trying? If she doesn't like the idea, would you abandon it? Would you tell her afterward? If any of that gives you serious pause, then don't do it.
(2) Is this old flame from forty years ago married? For many people these days, a little basic Internet stalking would tell you whether they're married. What do you suppose her husband would think? Maybe try approaching her or both of them before the trip, if you aren't dissuaded yet.
(3) Sometimes it's great to catch up with someone from that long ago, but sometimes it's just weird. Indeed keep any planned meeting brief and low-stakes, like coffee at a public place. Some basic Internet stalking (see above) might give you some clues about how it would be likely to go.
(4) If none of the above has dissuaded you, sure, go for it--just go in with low expectations and the plan to be pleasantly surprised by any notably-good outcome.
That'll be $0.05.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:53 am to I B Freeman
I've done it a couple of times and it is nice but awkward in the moment where you are speaking and catching up - - but there is always this underlying thought process of " where is this going from here" and " I am at a different place than when you were in my life"........so I think everyone kinda understand that the objective is to satisfy curiosity.
Truthfully, the idea of reconnecting is better than actually reconnecting
Truthfully, the idea of reconnecting is better than actually reconnecting
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:56 am to I B Freeman
Posted on 8/10/23 at 8:57 am to I B Freeman
I bet you did reach out to the old flame... and got shot down! Now you're saying you "didn't reach out" 
Posted on 8/10/23 at 9:06 am to jpcajun
I didn't and that is what I originally posted. I didn't for all the reasons mentioned. I was thinking there are probably some crazy stories of people that did do as I briefly contemplated.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 9:14 am to Tigers0891
I know multiple people who are divorced and ended up marrying an old flame they reconnected with on Facebook.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 9:17 am to dallastiger55
It’s for the best to not reach out to an old flame but I think it’s a males natural instinct to confirm you still have it and could get it if you wanted.
I’m happily married with kids and my ex from college is a dime at 41 and married a major douchebag in Houston.
Every time I travel down there for work I think about messaging her for lunch but never have done It. Nothing good could come from it.
I’m happily married with kids and my ex from college is a dime at 41 and married a major douchebag in Houston.
Every time I travel down there for work I think about messaging her for lunch but never have done It. Nothing good could come from it.
This post was edited on 8/10/23 at 9:18 am
Posted on 8/10/23 at 9:29 am to I B Freeman
I was just in Rotterdam and met up with an old LSU track teammate I hadn't seen in 30 years. It turned out great, I remembered him as a super friendly Dutchman and he hadn't changed.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 9:34 am to Patfic15
quote:Minister buddy wisely told me to never meet an ex-girlfriend unless your spouse is also there.
If you're married, save yourself the drama that stems from trying to be friends with women.
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