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Hypothetical: you’re married & a former close girlfriend dies - do you go to the funeral?
Posted on 7/9/22 at 6:54 am
Posted on 7/9/22 at 6:54 am
Had a dream that a former girlfriend of mine died unexpectedly. This was my first love kind of girlfriend but I’m married and she’s married so I chose not to go to the funeral so as to not make it weird for my wife and her husband but in the dream, I felt terribly guilty for not going.
We’re still friends in real life and though we don’t see each other often at all anymore, when we have seen each other over the years it’s always been when we happened to not be with our spouses and we pick up talking like we see each other all the time. Not in a romantic way, of course, just a purely platonic friendly way. Her parents and sister were all also customers of mine (not big customers but nonetheless) for a few years when I worked in a previous position.
The dream got me thinking — if you’re both now married and your “first love” former girlfriend died unexpectedly would you go to the funeral? I think if presented with this scenario in real life, I’d probably handle it the same way I did in my dream out of respect for both our spouses. I know if my wife died and one of her ex boyfriends (especially her first serious one) showed up to the funeral, I’d forever wonder if there was some sort of affair going on behind my back and that’s the last thing a grieving spouse needs but I’d definitely feel guilty for not going.
We’re still friends in real life and though we don’t see each other often at all anymore, when we have seen each other over the years it’s always been when we happened to not be with our spouses and we pick up talking like we see each other all the time. Not in a romantic way, of course, just a purely platonic friendly way. Her parents and sister were all also customers of mine (not big customers but nonetheless) for a few years when I worked in a previous position.
The dream got me thinking — if you’re both now married and your “first love” former girlfriend died unexpectedly would you go to the funeral? I think if presented with this scenario in real life, I’d probably handle it the same way I did in my dream out of respect for both our spouses. I know if my wife died and one of her ex boyfriends (especially her first serious one) showed up to the funeral, I’d forever wonder if there was some sort of affair going on behind my back and that’s the last thing a grieving spouse needs but I’d definitely feel guilty for not going.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 6:58 am to TDsngumbo
I hate people who think others are actually interested in their dreams that they feel the need to talk about it.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 6:58 am to TDsngumbo
You sure this was only a “dream”?
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:00 am to TDsngumbo
i guess its how close you ultimately were to the person. if you feel like you should pay your respects, i dont see an issue
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:00 am to tigerbutt
quote:
I hate people who think others are actually interested in their dreams that they feel the need to talk about it.
Strange reason to hate someone but whatever.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:02 am to TDsngumbo
Listen noob. We have one rule here and you broke it.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:02 am to TDsngumbo
Probably…so if can piss in the casket
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:03 am to TDsngumbo
Why not
I went to my X's wedding and sat on the back row alone so she would see me
I went to my X's wedding and sat on the back row alone so she would see me
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:03 am to rowbear1922
Well that’s not very nice. Amusing to consider but not nice.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:04 am to TDsngumbo
Funerals are for the living. If I thought my going would cause someone pain, I wouldn’t go. If I didn’t, I would. The deceased won’t care whether you showed up.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:05 am to Joshjrn
quote:
Funerals are for the living
My grandpa used to always say “why the frick should I go to his funeral? He ain’t coming to mine”.
This post was edited on 7/9/22 at 7:13 am
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:05 am to TDsngumbo
If you actually gave a shite about her and didn’t do something that fricked her head up (cheat, etc) then yes. You would be respectful and go.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:05 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
if you’re both now married and your “first love” former girlfriend died unexpectedly would you go to the funeral?
Probably not.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:08 am to Joshjrn
quote:
Funerals are for the living.
This. If you are or were close to her family I'd go. Otherwise, no.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:14 am to TDsngumbo
Damn that sucks you can’t even trust your dead wife. How old are you? I’m my wife’s first boyfriend showed up, I don’t think I’d notice or care.
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:30 am to tigerbutt
But you feel that others here are interested in your opinion
Posted on 7/9/22 at 7:31 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
My grandpa used to always say “why the frick should I go to his funeral? He ain’t coming to mine”.
We might be cousins
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