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Aging OT: how to identify and manage the mid life crisis

Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:21 pm
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
69008 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:21 pm
This isn't a thread for the young noobs among us, but the average OTer is getting older, so I'm curious about the personal experiences of our middle aged brethren who have gone through or are currently going through that phase when the ambiguous concepts of life like meaning, joy, impact, and growth start to feel more real and the desire for more clarity in those areas increases.

How did you recognize the shift and what did you do to satiate or manage it? What are some thoughts or questions that came about that helped, hurt, informed decisions, etc.

I'm hopefully not halfway home quite yet, but the internal monologue has changed. Am I maximizing my professional talent (or do I still even love what I do professionally), am I realizing the fruits of my labor, am I raising the kids right, am I on a path that makes me happy. These are the thoughts in my mind lately. I haven't bought a boat or Porsche yet, and I doubt I'll get there, but it feels like that time of life where all that is on the table.

Let's get some not quite old but getting there dialogue going.
Posted by beerJeep
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2016
37709 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:23 pm to
Posted by cubsfan5150
NWA
Member since Nov 2007
17845 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:24 pm to
The quicker that you realize that your life doesn't matter in the grand scheme, the quicker you'll learn to not give a shite

You might even decide to call it quits early
This post was edited on 4/27/22 at 10:26 pm
Posted by beerJeep
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2016
37709 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:25 pm to
quote:

The quicker that you realize that your life doesn't matter in the grand scheme, the quicker you'll learn to not give a shite


What if god was one of us, just a slob like one of us… just a stranger… on a bus
Posted by SUB
Silver Tier TD Premium
Member since Jan 2009
24745 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:26 pm to
quote:

This isn't a thread for the young noobs among us


Well that rules out about 3 people.
Posted by OWLFAN86
Erotic Novelist
Member since Jun 2004
194575 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:26 pm to
its after 10 pm for cripes sake
Posted by molsusports
Member since Jul 2004
37113 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:26 pm to
I believe the options are dating younger women or developing a deep interest in the Civil War.

You make the call
Posted by weskarl
Space City
Member since Mar 2007
5775 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:26 pm to
Posted by WestCoastAg
Member since Oct 2012
149461 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:27 pm to
must fricking suck
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
69008 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:29 pm to
quote:

The quicker that you realize that your life doesn't matter in the grand scheme, the quicker you'll learn to not give a shite


Tried it, doesn't work for me. I have too many people whose quality of life depends on me not being worthless. My need to care isn't only for my own interests. But I've also found I'm not built to not give a shite in a general sense. It becomes a lie to myself.
Posted by HDAU
Member since Nov 2014
1669 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:30 pm to
Or a crappy American made sports car.
Posted by Koach K
Member since Nov 2016
4803 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:31 pm to
Focus on not leaving a mess foe your kids.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
69008 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:31 pm to
quote:

its after 10 pm for cripes sake



I ruled out the too youngs by policy. I ruled out the too olds by timing. Go to bed, old man.
Posted by BK Lounge
Member since Nov 2021
5038 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:32 pm to
Mid 40s , just trying to get off the hamster wheel as soon as possible… Cant imagine working in my 50s and 60s, so im getting my passive income streams in order (investments, crypto, TSLA, et al) so that i wont have to work much longer.. Started working on family construction sites at 9 yrs old, so almost 40 yrs in the workforce, and im tired.. As for my health, I think early retirement will help with stress.. i run and workout 4 or 5 times per week, dont drink much and and take zero medications for anything.. i think (hope) i have a good 30 or 40 more years in me, so at thsi point it’s just a matter of , like the old ‘80s song says- “Holding Back the Years.”
Posted by Ben Hur
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Feb 2013
991 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:34 pm to
quote:

Am I maximizing my professional talent (or do I still even love what I do professionally)


Do you really have to maximize it? Is that necessary to feel fulfilled?

For me, it’s about maximizing time with your loved ones. Most careers/jobs are stealing your time from family in exchange for money.

Reminds me of the quote, “No one has ever said on their deathbed ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’”
Posted by BK Lounge
Member since Nov 2021
5038 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:36 pm to
The way i look at it, those amongst us who are ‘old timers’ are actually really lucky.. not everyone gets to live to an advanced age.. i have earned each one of my 40 plus years.. and it eventually happens to everyone, even people reading this here who are in their 20s or 30s.. but ONLY if youre lucky .
Posted by tiggerfan02 2021
HSV
Member since Jan 2021
3908 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:37 pm to
Without a doubt, one of the worst songs of all time.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:38 pm to
quote:

What if god was one of us, just a slob like one of us… just a stranger… on a bus


I'm gonna' nerd out here, but that was a fairly terrible song on an otherwise FANTASTIC album. Her label should be castrated for releasing that song first and making people think the rest was like that.

St. Teresa

Right Hand Man

Spiderweb

Early Recordings Live

Whew. Enjoy.

That said, I haven't really run into any of those issues. Turning 52 this summer and feel fine. Did start needing reading glasses a few years ago, and that sucked hard since I'd never needed glasses before, but honestly it's been fine. There are times when I kind of wish I felt "older" whatever that means. Basically still feel much the same as I did in college.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
69008 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:38 pm to
quote:

Do you really have to maximize it? Is that necessary to feel fulfilled?


It's a great question. My default is yes of course, but I don't know. I don't even know what that means sometimes. You get on a path that almost requires continued upward movement, but at some point you have to wonder to what end. Basically none of us are built to be a Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg, or whoever, but for a time we think we could be a version of them.
Posted by SuddenJerk
Member since Oct 2017
756 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 10:50 pm to
I have been doing keto and lost about 35lbs. I feel better and not so sluggish.

My marriage is mostly good. I don’t feel like anyone is always happy and marriages have their ups and downs, the grass is rarely greener., work it out.

I am not financially where I want to be for retirement, but I have time and am working on that.

I have 2 kids that are out of the house and on their way to success and two more to go. I feel that I can accomplish that.

I own a small business and own a boat. I am comfortable with what I make and what I own. I don’t make OT baller money and probably not as much as most would claim, but that’s ok.

I love where I live and have lots of friends within walking distance that we interact with on a regular basis. I feel lucky to have the friends and family close as none of us grew up in the area.

I look and feel younger than I am. A lot of my friends are going gray and while I welcome it, I am not.

I have learned not to worry about things that are not of my control. While this is a hard one, stress is a lot harder. Everything will be alright. Let it go.
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