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Depression

Posted on 4/27/22 at 3:55 am
Posted by DonJuanDaMiles
San Diego, CA
Member since Feb 2014
1174 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 3:55 am
Think I’m at the end of my rope
Posted by TigerInCbus
Raymond
Member since Feb 2018
361 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 4:26 am to
What’s going on, man? This is an anonymous board - talk through it here. You’d be surprised how many people have gone through similar situations.
Posted by DonJuanDaMiles
San Diego, CA
Member since Feb 2014
1174 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 4:31 am to
Just tired of fighting the urge to kill myself. I’ve tried medicine, extreme plant medicines, therapy, everything. I have an addiction I can’t shake and some abuse I can’t stop thinking about. No purpose and nothing to look forward to. Thanks for listening
Posted by CrawfishElvis
Member since Apr 2021
1086 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 4:37 am to
You’d be surprised how many people in your life that truly love you. Friends/family whose world would be completely turned upside down if you did this. Think about them and reach out to the ones you think would be effected the most. I wish everyday my loved one would’ve just talked to me first.
Posted by DonJuanDaMiles
San Diego, CA
Member since Feb 2014
1174 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 4:51 am to
I don’t know. My plan was to wait till my parents passed away but that’s a long time to hold on.
Posted by CrawfishElvis
Member since Apr 2021
1086 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 4:59 am to
Sit them down and talk with them. I promise they will do anything to help you. Consider seeking professional help. Talking to some kind of counselor once or twice a month
Posted by DonJuanDaMiles
San Diego, CA
Member since Feb 2014
1174 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 5:04 am to
Dude, I’ve tried that and they both know. It’s hard seeing a counselor that often, especially now with Covid. I’m lucky if I get to see someone once a month and that’s with calling weekly to see if anyone has canceled. I tried paying out of pocket, but I can’t afford it anymore.
Posted by wryder1
Birmingham
Member since Feb 2008
4737 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 5:28 am to
I don’t know your family situation but if you’re single, sell everything you own and join a church mission to go overseas and help a community. You don’t need to be a believer, just go and find your self worth through helping others. The biggest thing you need is finding your purpose in life. Once you find that purpose and start living for others, fulfilling that purpose, you will see life in a different way. At this point you have nothing to lose.

I struggled with depression for a long time. I tried medication, self medication and you name it. About 5 years ago, I got in a bad place with my marriage and life and at times felt it was hard to even breathe. I went to church and they were starting a 21 days of prayer and fasting. I wasn’t big in to church and didn’t have much faith in it but I felt I had nothing to lose so why not. I began fasting and praying. At first it was miserable but by day 5 I started feeling better. By day 7 I felt great. My body and mind felt like a huge weight had been lifted. By the end of it, I felt so much better. I got involved with some groups and within a year my marriage was saved. I still have some lows but nothing like I did. My marriage is in a good place and I know why.
When you’re desperate and have nothing to lose, take drastic steps in your life to make fundamental changes. It’s hard to function in that state of mind but you’re fighting for your life so act like it. I’d recommend finding your purpose. Reset your mind, body and spirit by some sort of fast with prayer/meditation and serving others. One of the best days of your life will be when you find your purpose or why in life.
This post was edited on 4/27/22 at 5:56 am
Posted by Robin Masters
Birmingham
Member since Jul 2010
34832 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 6:00 am to
quote:

don’t know your family situation but if you’re single, sell everything you own and join a church mission to go overseas and help a community. You don’t need to be a believer, just go and find your self worth through helping others. The biggest thing you need is finding your purpose in life. Once you find that purpose and start living for others, fulfilling that purpose, you will see life in a different way. At this point you have nothing to lose.


This is great advice.

Op, I struggle with depression too. I’m at my happiest when I’m being of value to others.

Praying you find peace.
Posted by DonJuanDaMiles
San Diego, CA
Member since Feb 2014
1174 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 6:04 am to
I’m a first responder and my job is basically saving animals from natural disasters and foreign animal diseases.

I’ll check out the church thing. My abuse happened in the church, so it’s been a struggle the times I’ve forced myself to go to mass. Thanks for the advice.
Posted by wryder1
Birmingham
Member since Feb 2008
4737 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 6:46 am to
quote:

I’ll check out the church thing. My abuse happened in the church, so it’s been a struggle the times I’ve forced myself to go to mass. Thanks for the advice.


I can not relate to that but maybe find another church. I was raised Catholic and my wife was was Episcopalian. The thought of doing anything different was foreign to us but we went with some friends to a church that we used to joke about. That church changed our lives and marriage. I’d never in a million years thought we would attend a church like that but I'm glad we tried something new. We are currently looking for a smaller church but at that time of our life, it was what we needed. If you aren’t getting anything from your current church or aren’t comfortable there, ask around and maybe go with some friends to another church. Somebody will speak in a way or tell a message that will make an impact.
Posted by pwejr88
Red Stick
Member since Apr 2007
37509 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 6:56 am to
I have been in your shoes.
I can tell you, it gets better. Hold on and don’t give up hope.
What worked for me was addressing the addiction aspect first. The rest of the healing came naturally after that.
There are many people out there that can help with whatever addiction you have. A treatment lodge (not the traditional rehab), AA meetings, etc. If you want to provide some vague details I’d be happy to help.
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
42644 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 7:46 am to
quote:

No purpose and nothing to look forward to. Thanks for listening


When you’re down in the middle of it you have no perspective. If you could look 10 years into your future you might see a guy loving life and appreciating every moment. Just try to push through for that guy. Definitely do therapy and take it seriously. You can come out the other side.
Posted by KoozieKing
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2015
217 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 8:00 am to
Some practical tips I can offer.

1. Get exercise. Walking outside. Lifting weights. This will help tire you out and lead into #2.

2. Get sleep. You posted that at 3 in the morning. Poor sleep affects everything else poorly.

Being of service to people is a great idea. The Amen app has a daily mass reading and at the end it asks, "How can I be a gift to people today?" It really struck me, because if you live like that, you start to realize the small little things you can do that become a gift to other people. A smile to a stranger, holding the door, etc. It can expand from there, where you are part of a team helping the less fortunate. It starts to almost feel selfish when you give service to other people because you yourself start to feel great about it. That is us shining God's grace on others and God shining his grace on you.
This post was edited on 4/27/22 at 8:02 am
Posted by Turbotoes
Clown world
Member since Dec 2020
266 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 8:26 am to
quote:

The biggest thing you need is finding your purpose in life. Once you find that purpose and start living for others, fulfilling that purpose, you will see life in a different way. At this point you have nothing to lose.



This x1000

I know a pastor I can call that will put you in touch with some help if you are in LA. He has some connections around the country too. I will be checking in on this thread.
Posted by Turbotoes
Clown world
Member since Dec 2020
266 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 8:28 am to
I have a lot of respect for first responders. They see some of the worst things the world has to offer. I would kindly suggest changing course. It will take some time and effort on your part. There are no perfect careers. All will have their ups and downs.
This post was edited on 4/27/22 at 8:31 am
Posted by DonJuanDaMiles
San Diego, CA
Member since Feb 2014
1174 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 8:30 am to
I’m in San Diego. I do exercise. I also do transcendental meditation, I journal, I do breathing exercises, you know I’m trying.

I do have problems sleeping, but it has nothing to do with exercise or being tired. More anxiety that sometimes leads to a physiological problem like my legs and feet shaking or hurting.

Thanks everyone who responded.
Posted by Turbotoes
Clown world
Member since Dec 2020
266 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 8:39 am to
quote:

I do exercise. I also do transcendental meditation, I journal, I do breathing exercises, you know I’m trying.




quote:

I do have problems sleeping, but it has nothing to do with exercise or being tired. More anxiety that sometimes leads to a physiological problem like my legs and feet shaking or hurting.


Anxiety can manifest in a number of ways. For me it was mostly through panic attacks. I just felt as if I was having a heart attack and would be dying. Felt like I had to manually tell myself to inhale/exhale or I would stop breathing. It was a terrible feeling. I have since moved past it. Consistent exercise, better sleep patterns, putting down the pipe (and bottle) were all a part of it. Also, and this may have been the biggest of all, I stopped being overly stimulated. I started reading daily(with a real book) and turned off many of the distractions. Silence really helped my mind work through the issues without distractions. I stopped having something on in the background or always having on music/podcast in the car or while outdoors. I hope some of this helps you or gives you encouragement.
Posted by Homey the Clown
Member since Feb 2009
6016 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 8:56 am to
The only advice I can give you is "Never give up". I know its easy for someone to come into this thread and tell you that you have to be strong, etc. And I also know its much more difficult for someone dealing with anxiety and depression to actually do that. I lost a good friend a few years back who gave up and gave in to the depression. She had two young sons, and a loving husband who tried everything in his power to help her climb out of it, but in the end, it was too much for her. We were all devastated, and to this day we still hurt from that loss.

Not giving up might be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but you have got to keep going. Every day. Keep going.

This too, shall pass.
Posted by TigerGman
Center of the Universe
Member since Sep 2006
13374 posts
Posted on 4/27/22 at 9:12 am to
there's some great advice in here. I'd add go see some escorts. Might add a little pleasure to your life and kick-start you. I know man, I've been in that pit of hell too.
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