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Stacey Abrams Claims Obesity Is Just Numbers Manufactured By Her Bathroom Scale
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:48 pm
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:48 pm
LINK
While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
"In the same way the patriarchy invented sonograms with fake heartbeat sounds to force women to fall in love with their unborn children against their will, bathroom scales were also created by the patriarchy to control women's bodies," said Abrams. "Obesity isn't real, but a system of oppression. It's time to dismantle it!"
The incumbent governor's remarks are already being praised as "so brave" and "super scientific" by members of the body positivity movement who have not yet succumbed to diabetes and heart disease.
"As Presidential candidate for the Democratic party, I vow to fight the lobbyists of Big Bathroom Scales and their attempts to control our beautiful bodies," said Abrams while inhaling a tower of strawberry-sprinkled bear claws.
A representative for the Bathroom Scale industry issued a statement that read, "We're so busted, dang it. President-elect Stacey Abrams caught us red-handed. We solemnly vow henceforth to do better to hide our secretive desires to control women's bodies."
At publishing time, U.S. President Stacey Abrams had declared every day National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day.
While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
"In the same way the patriarchy invented sonograms with fake heartbeat sounds to force women to fall in love with their unborn children against their will, bathroom scales were also created by the patriarchy to control women's bodies," said Abrams. "Obesity isn't real, but a system of oppression. It's time to dismantle it!"
The incumbent governor's remarks are already being praised as "so brave" and "super scientific" by members of the body positivity movement who have not yet succumbed to diabetes and heart disease.
"As Presidential candidate for the Democratic party, I vow to fight the lobbyists of Big Bathroom Scales and their attempts to control our beautiful bodies," said Abrams while inhaling a tower of strawberry-sprinkled bear claws.
A representative for the Bathroom Scale industry issued a statement that read, "We're so busted, dang it. President-elect Stacey Abrams caught us red-handed. We solemnly vow henceforth to do better to hide our secretive desires to control women's bodies."
At publishing time, U.S. President Stacey Abrams had declared every day National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day.
25
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:49 pm to Night Vision
The irony here is she is probably too heavy for most bathroom scales...most of them top out at 300 
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:50 pm to Night Vision
Triglycerides were invented by white men to scare women of color
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:51 pm to upgrayedd
How in the frick did this person even get into politics?
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:52 pm to Powerman
Unless it's a talking scale or someone reads the numbers to her, she probably has no clue what she weighs. I guarantee you she can't see the scale readout.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:52 pm to Mr Boyles
quote:
How in the frick did this person even get into politics?
Failed upwards
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:52 pm to Night Vision
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:53 pm to Night Vision
Oh, okay. Just like inflation is just mountains of $100 bills "manufactured" by the U.S. Mint's printing presses.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:54 pm to Night Vision
She says she feels led to serve where she feels Georgia needs her most, but it ain't at the Governor's Mansion.
We need her in Athens at Nose Tackle once Jalen Carter goes to the NFL.
We need her in Athens at Nose Tackle once Jalen Carter goes to the NFL.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:55 pm to Night Vision
Doesn’t diet, exercise, sleep right, cut out alcohol, but it’s the scale’s fault. Sure.
If she did an in-body scanner (which is a lot better than just a scale) it would tell her the same thing. She’s fat as shite and treats herself like garbage.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:56 pm to Night Vision
quote:
National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:56 pm to Powerman
quote:She has to stop by the local cotton gin for her scales.
The irony here is she is probably too heavy for most bathroom scales...most of them top out at 300
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:57 pm to Night Vision
Hippo Noir
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:58 pm to Night Vision
I just came here to call her a fatass slob.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:01 pm to Night Vision
You got me. I had no idea that it was the Bee. After what she said yesterday about the heart beat, I honestly believed that this was something that she would say.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:02 pm to Night Vision
Her shadow weighs 42 pounds.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:03 pm to Night Vision
Her and Beto are having a competition to see who can lose the most elections in a row and still stay in the public eye.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:06 pm to Night Vision
She has more chins than Chinatown.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:11 pm to Night Vision
quote:
At publishing time, U.S. President Stacey Abrams had declared every day National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day.
Not all Heroes wear bibs!
This post was edited on 9/23/22 at 3:12 pm
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:16 pm to Night Vision
Honestly it took me reading into the article till I figured out it was the bee.
Just impossible to tell sometimes..
Just impossible to tell sometimes..
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