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Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship

Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:01 am
Posted by GumboPot
Member since Mar 2009
118689 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:01 am
LINK

quote:

AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.

Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”

His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.

Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.

“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
Posted by i am dan
NC
Member since Aug 2011
24695 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:02 am to
Is this real?
Posted by bamarep
Member since Nov 2013
51798 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:02 am to
That's it. We're fricked as a society.


We can't even have fricking T-ball anymore.
Posted by LSUTIGER in TEXAS
Member since Jan 2008
13604 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:02 am to
Writer must be from theonion...
Posted by TheHumanTornado
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since May 2008
3762 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:03 am to
The Babylon Bee is a similar site to the Onion. It usually centers around Christian culture.
Posted by GumboPot
Member since Mar 2009
118689 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:04 am to
quote:

Is this real?


The man identifying as a 6 year old batted a 1000 for the season. Of course it's real.
Posted by lsucoonass
shreveport and east texas
Member since Nov 2003
68446 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:05 am to
and didnt committ a single era while playing every position from catcher to the outfield
Posted by LuckyTiger
Someone's Alter
Member since Dec 2008
45171 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:06 am to

Posted by piggilicious
Member since Jan 2011
37295 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:07 am to
quote:

the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.


Nice satire.
Posted by GumboPot
Member since Mar 2009
118689 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:07 am to
What made me lol the most was this:

quote:

while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship
Posted by HeyHeyHogsAllTheWay
Member since Feb 2017
12458 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:07 am to
quote:

Is this real?


At this point just the fact that someone has to ask if this kind of nonsense is real should scare the frick out of people.

I can't be the only father who would take to fists to prevent a grown man from ruining his child's sports program like this.........

Posted by the808bass
The Lou
Member since Oct 2012
111498 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:08 am to
Love the Bee.
Posted by StraightCashHomey21
Aberdeen,NC
Member since Jul 2009
125397 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:08 am to
frick yesss if this was real

all these people who asked for this shite are about to get it thrown right back in their face
This post was edited on 6/7/17 at 8:10 am
Posted by poops_at_parties
Member since Jan 2016
1545 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:14 am to
Posted by ballscaster
Member since Jun 2013
26861 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:17 am to
The Babylon Bee: The Onion for people who aren't good at spotting this stuff.
Posted by FooManChoo
Member since Dec 2012
41648 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:19 am to
Babylon Bee is a great Christian satire site.

"Southern Baptists vote to affirm inerrancy of second amendment"
Posted by the808bass
The Lou
Member since Oct 2012
111498 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:23 am to
Excellent, in-touch satire.

"Serial killer wants people to know murdering is only 3% of what he does "
Posted by bootlegger
Ponchatoula
Member since Dec 2012
5333 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:24 am to
Posted by GumboPot
Member since Mar 2009
118689 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:27 am to
quote:

"Serial killer wants people to know murdering is only 3% of what he does "

Posted by HailToTheChiz
Back in Auburn
Member since Aug 2010
48904 posts
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:27 am to
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