I had a lunch date today and here’s how it went:

This is the most randomly hilarious love life thing I’ve ever seen one of you Baws share on the PB.

I cannot stop laughing.

Is this bullshite or did it actually happen? Because sometimes when I am on dates I look around and wonder if I’m on candid camera. I hope it actually happened bc somehow this tribe of weirdos (myself included) can appreciate.

If something like that had happened to me I would have had to resist excusing myself to powder my nose.

Does she get a bonus for each Yemeni child our bombs kill?

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Is this bullshite or did it actually happen? Because sometimes when I am on dates I look around and wonder if I’m on candid camera.

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I asked her if she was proud that her missiles randomly murder children, and her response was her company does more than that. My response:



I then said the date isn’t working, hope she has a good day, and good night before walking out.

Bro she’s a file clerk and coffee girl, what could she possibl know? And you’re not getting that candy anytime soon with that attitude. If you ain’t right with God on your T levels, go see a doctor. They got some gels and creams. This is what you get for turning away from Trump.


Out of an abundance of caution, just joshing.

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I asked her if she was proud that her missiles randomly murder children, and her response was her company does more than that. My response:

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Brave little social justice warrior. You go girl.

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I then said the date isn’t working, hope she has a good day, and good night before walking out.

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Did you skip the part where you stood, grabbed your phone, took a pic and said, "there are rules"?

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Me: So what do you do for a living? Her: I’m a recruiter for Raytheon. Me:

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I would have immediately asked,

“Do you know Nancy Pelosi on a first name basis?”

I would have told her I wanted a remote job with a very long made up name that really does nothing but like ohmergod zoom calls in acquisitions. I have a masters degree in yoga. I identify as being creole, on this side of the doo doo doo doo I was a a lesbeen 2soulsista.

I also need FML time off next year, to breast feed my baby ferret.

I need 2 months paid tranny awareness worship vacay. And extended FML for the transition process of the birth of my cats trans baby. I need 2 years salary deposited rightaway for my lesbeen lovers trans surgery.

And that I identify with this man & I think he is the greatest, he is my great Uncle.

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I then said the date isn’t working, hope she has a good day, and good night before walking out.

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The worst date I ever had was in law school. Nothing political happened - he just was so terrible. I wasn’t that polite. I was clerking in NOLA for the summer so we met at some bar or restaurant on St. Charles somewhere. He talked about how much money he made (which was total bullshite) for about 30 minutes.

I excused myself to the ladies room. I then walked straight to St. Charles Avenue and hailed a cab.

No one believes you. Fat, unattractive girls don’t apply to Raytheon.