Best news I’ve heard in 2021: Cali man blasts TX 'dystopia' in op-ed after moving to ATX

I haven’t read the op-ed, since it’s a paid piece in Business Insider.

But the Houston Chronicle summarized, explaining that this California transplant was not impressed by our Utopian splendor.

He ultimately moved back to California.

The good news: If he didn’t like Austin (“a conservative dystopia” ... HA!), he’d have loathed the rest of our state. THIS is the kind of publicity we need .


Brett Alder moved from California to Austin. The sales executive called the experience an "expensive mistake" in a colorful opinion piece for Business Insider.


Here are some of his complaints:

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Like many members of the recent California exodus, Alder chose to move to Austin because of the perception that the capitol city offers a similar lifestyle. His family left a 2,000 square-foot house in San Diego for a Bee Cave home with a pool and twice the square footage.

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"The thing that California and Austin definitely have in common is that they're both very expensive," Alder wrote. "Austin is not cheap. Let the words sink in. Austin is not cheap, it's actually quite expensive."

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Alder pointed to the high price of energy, water, and services like pool maintenance and landscaping. He also wrote fellow transplants should budget for summer getaways, because "most anyone who can leaves Austin for a month or two" to escape the heat.

The "oppressive" heat — and the wintry cold, humidity and allergens — were major sticking points for the new Texan. So was the perceived lack of public space.

Alder apparently didn't find the Barton Springs Pool or Zilker Park sufficient. His family tried visiting Enchanted Rock, but encountered a long line and packed parking lot. They christened the site "Disenchanted Rock."

The lifestyle and surroundings weren't the only parts of Texas he took issue with. Alder found the locals to be rude, lacking in integrity and terrible drivers. Not even bumping into McConaughey at a flag football game could change his mind.

Alder wrote that Texas was a "conservative dystopia" and a "monoculture that doesn't seem to be aware of it's own blandness." He eventually pulled his three kids out of the local elementary school because it was run like a "micro-managed military academy."

"Are you ready to have your son judged based on his suitability for a future career in football?" Alder asked. "Are you ready to network by attending the local high school football game with the guys? Because that's a thing in Texas."

Some of Alder's concerns, like the potent cedar allergies, made sense. Others — "the car washes were lame" — were rather baffling. The sales executive finally had enough and moved back to the coast. He now works in the Bay Area in the semiconductor industry.

The moral of the story, Alder wrote, was that it'd take a lot of money to buy a "California-like" lifestyle in Austin. "It was an expensive mistake, but my family and I now see California in a completely new light," he added.

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