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Started By
Message
Advice needed for dying dog
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:09 pm
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:09 pm
I didn't want to hijack the other thread about a companion dog so decided to start my own.
My wife and I took our 2 dogs in for their annual checkups last Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving). As usual there was nothing wrong with our Jack Russel who is 9yo. When it came to our Beagle (who is 12yo) however, the vet started asking some specific questions. After answering them she alerted us that she thought she was sick and wanted to do some blood work and possibly X rays. We opted to take it one step at a time and had them do the X rays first. It took an hour or so to get the results back and the vet actually read them for the first time while in the room with us. They found multiple masses in the chest and lungs of our Beagle. Before the vet finished reading the results of the X rays I knew it wasn't good. She was having trouble getting thru them and was trying to figure out how to compose herself to deliver the bad news to us. Once she finished the report, my wife and I asked several questions. To me the most important part of the report was the prognosis, which was very poor. That's when I asked the question I shouldn't have, "How long does she have?"
Because of her age and where the cancer was the Vet and Radiologist advised against treating the cancer. It would be very taxing on her and very expensive since they would have to do lots of testing to determine what type of cancer it was. That was the reason for the very poor prognosis.
I won't lie and say I was completely composed or 100% there at this point. I remember the vet saying it could be 3 weeks or 3 months and that the best course of action was to make her as happy and comfortable as possible. I don't know if she was saying 3 months would be the maximum time we'd have left with her or if she was just unsure and throwing out a number. Either way, it hit us really hard.
We've had her since she was 2 when we adopted her from a shelter. She's been with us since before we were married and before we had kids. I only hope she dies peacefully in her sleep one night. I really, really don't want to be forced to put her to sleep if she stops eating.
I'm just looking for advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation. How and when do I tell my 4yo and 7yo their dog is dying? Should I get another dog for them/us after she passes? How will this affect the 9yo Jack Russel that has never been by herself?
TL;DR - Dog is dying from cancer. Need advice on how to tell my 2 young girls and whether or not to get them (and my other dog) a new pup.
My wife and I took our 2 dogs in for their annual checkups last Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving). As usual there was nothing wrong with our Jack Russel who is 9yo. When it came to our Beagle (who is 12yo) however, the vet started asking some specific questions. After answering them she alerted us that she thought she was sick and wanted to do some blood work and possibly X rays. We opted to take it one step at a time and had them do the X rays first. It took an hour or so to get the results back and the vet actually read them for the first time while in the room with us. They found multiple masses in the chest and lungs of our Beagle. Before the vet finished reading the results of the X rays I knew it wasn't good. She was having trouble getting thru them and was trying to figure out how to compose herself to deliver the bad news to us. Once she finished the report, my wife and I asked several questions. To me the most important part of the report was the prognosis, which was very poor. That's when I asked the question I shouldn't have, "How long does she have?"
Because of her age and where the cancer was the Vet and Radiologist advised against treating the cancer. It would be very taxing on her and very expensive since they would have to do lots of testing to determine what type of cancer it was. That was the reason for the very poor prognosis.
I won't lie and say I was completely composed or 100% there at this point. I remember the vet saying it could be 3 weeks or 3 months and that the best course of action was to make her as happy and comfortable as possible. I don't know if she was saying 3 months would be the maximum time we'd have left with her or if she was just unsure and throwing out a number. Either way, it hit us really hard.
We've had her since she was 2 when we adopted her from a shelter. She's been with us since before we were married and before we had kids. I only hope she dies peacefully in her sleep one night. I really, really don't want to be forced to put her to sleep if she stops eating.
I'm just looking for advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation. How and when do I tell my 4yo and 7yo their dog is dying? Should I get another dog for them/us after she passes? How will this affect the 9yo Jack Russel that has never been by herself?
TL;DR - Dog is dying from cancer. Need advice on how to tell my 2 young girls and whether or not to get them (and my other dog) a new pup.
17
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:12 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
quote:
Need advice on how to tell my 2 young girls
be honest, don't dramatize it. Dog is old, Dog is sick, Dog don't have long left, Dog going to puppy heaven.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:14 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
You’ll know when she’s ready to go. Put her down when she’s ready.
As for your kids, idk what to tell you there. First thing I ever remember losing was a dog and I suppose that’s how many kids learn about death.
As for your kids, idk what to tell you there. First thing I ever remember losing was a dog and I suppose that’s how many kids learn about death.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:15 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
get them a new dog now?
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:17 pm to Chad504boy
I recently had to hold my kids while their maw maw of 55 years of age was passing away in the living room 15 feet away on a wednesday night and tell them their maw maw is going to heaven right now. Keep life in perspective for them.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:17 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
Use the money you would spend on treatment and feed the dog steaks every day.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:27 pm to DownshiftAndFloorIt
quote:
You’ll know when she’s ready to go. Put her down when she’s ready.
This is what you have to do. As bad it sucks, it has to be done. Let her enjoy the crap out of what time she has left.
As far as the kids go, i personally wouldn't tell them until after she passes, whatever method that ends up being. I wouldnt want the kids to be depressed for the next few months. Instead, help them enjoy her company and explain it afterward.
JMHO
I hate it for you man, i really do. I've got a 7 year old beagle thats been with me since she was 5 weeks. She's my best bud.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:28 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
Tell them the truth that she is sick and old and needs a lot of their love in the time that she has left. Do not get a new pup until ALL of you have had time to grieve. This includes your 9 year old pup. You will not be in a good emotional state for the new pup. It could lead to going way overboard with the new pup in attention that leaves out your 9 year old pup or it could go the other way where you pretty much don't let the new pup into your heart. Both are not good. One of the deepest holes in my heart happened when we lost our 11 year old pup a few weeks ago. She was my partner since she was a few weeks old. We are in no way able to give the right kind of attention to a new pup right now. Also, make sure to talk to the kids about not neglecting the one you have left. Sometimes this can happen after a loss of one pet. They start withdrawing from the other knowing what is going to happen eventually. Good luck and I hope you get as long as possible with her while she is still feeling ok.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:29 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
Keep life in perspective for them.
You always bring great context to the situation.
Fact is, both situations hurt.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:29 pm to LEASTBAY
Mine just died recently. Don't have good advice on that part. My girls saw their daddy cry for the better part of a week. The older one did too. The younger one is only 2 and just keeps asking where Cooper is..... we just say he went to heaven. We will get other dogs... but not yet. I'm just not ready for that.
I hate what you are going through and hope your dog goes peacefully on her own. It's never easy to have one put down.
I hate what you are going through and hope your dog goes peacefully on her own. It's never easy to have one put down.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:30 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
Tell your kids dogs don't live as long as people, and the dog is sick and won't live long. Take the dog to the park and hold back tears while you take pictures with the dog one more time, then take the dog to the vet to be put down the next day. Then get a new puppy. Kids are tough, and even if they are upset they get over things like that quickly, especially with a new puppy in the house.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:30 pm to Chad504boy
keep doing what you have been doing for years with her daily.. you will know when it is time
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:32 pm to ElDawgHawg
Ugh, I'm not ready for this. My lab is 12. He pisses and shits (usually right where he is laying) in the house regularly. I have to wake up at 2am every night to let him out. I have to roll up all our rugs because they are easy targets. He can barely stand up on his own anymore and if he isn't extremely motivated I typically have to prop him up. He'll sometimes go a couple of days without eating, but there are days where he'll eat like a horse.
I know he has arthritis in his spine, but I'm not sure what other ailments he's suffering from.
OP, I don't have any advice for you, but good luck.
I know he has arthritis in his spine, but I'm not sure what other ailments he's suffering from.
OP, I don't have any advice for you, but good luck.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:32 pm to SportTiger1
It sucks. We have put down 2 pups since the kids have been born. Their 11 and 13 now. It sucks.
I had to tell my kids at 7 and 9 that their grandfather died after they opened their Christmas presents on Christmas morning. That really sucked. We're now dealing with my brother in late stage colon cancer.
I had to tell my kids at 7 and 9 that their grandfather died after they opened their Christmas presents on Christmas morning. That really sucked. We're now dealing with my brother in late stage colon cancer.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:34 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
Same thing happened to our Beagle. They game him some Steroids which helped give him some pep back. He was like a puppy again for a couple of weeks. Eventually he got to where you could really tell he was struggling and in pain. Taking him into the vet to put him down was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my 41 years on this earth. Just thinking about it chokes me up. Stinky Pete was a great companion and just wanted to be loved on. But there came a point where I was keeping him around for selfish reasons in spite of his suffering so we did the right thing by him.
Hope your dog gets a peaceful exit like our Husky did. He woke us up one night wanting to go outside. He walked to into the back yard and curled up into a dog house in the back yard and wouldn't come back in. Next morning I realized he had passed away in the dog house that night curled up sleeping.
We waited until we were down to 1 dog to introduce another into the house. We didn't want the older dying dog to have to deal with a new strange dog in his last days.
Hope your dog gets a peaceful exit like our Husky did. He woke us up one night wanting to go outside. He walked to into the back yard and curled up into a dog house in the back yard and wouldn't come back in. Next morning I realized he had passed away in the dog house that night curled up sleeping.
We waited until we were down to 1 dog to introduce another into the house. We didn't want the older dying dog to have to deal with a new strange dog in his last days.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:41 pm to theOG
quote:
Ugh, I'm not ready for this. My lab is 12. He pisses and shits (usually right where he is laying) in the house regularly. I have to wake up at 2am every night to let him out. I have to roll up all our rugs because they are easy targets. He can barely stand up on his own anymore and if he isn't extremely motivated I typically have to prop him up.
We're going through something similar with our 15yo Alabama brown dog. He has trouble on the hardwood. If he gets stuck on the hardwood he will piss himself straining to get up and shite himself if he struggles long enough. Sometimes he cant hold it and when he is walking to the door or even standing up to go outside he will let go. He other otherwise mostly alert except for the struggles getting around. We aren't sure what to do except clean up after him right now. We tried doggy diapers but he males ones don't fit him right.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:49 pm to SportTiger1
quote:
As far as the kids go, i personally wouldn't tell them until after she passes, whatever method that ends up being. I wouldnt want the kids to be depressed for the next few months. Instead, help them enjoy her company and explain it afterward.
The only issue that might happen there is if the dog passes and the kids are the first to find it. Almost happened with our cat and dog. The cat went missing for about 3 weeks in the summer a few years ago. I looked all over the yard and neighborhood, asking people if they'd seen the cat. I was cutting the grass one sunday afternoon, trying to get it in before the rain started. Halfway through the backyard I find his mangled, rotting corpse. I guess one of the dogs drug it out of the bushes or wherever he ran off to and died. The kids had been playing back there that morning, so I'm glad the cat wasn't there then. I had to quit cutting grass, go get a shovel, and bury him in the back of the yard. We told the kids, well my daughter, since my son was still a young toddler, and she coped with it okay for a 6 year old.
Same thing with the dog. A few months after the cat died. My wife hadn't seen him on our deck all day, which was odd because he would go up there to nap in the sun. That night when I got home, she told me she found him under the stairs to the deck. He was curled up slightly under a big rock, dead, and rigor mortis had set in. I had let them out that morning, so no telling when he died. She couldn't get to him under there easily, so I put on some old boots and crawled under there to get him out. Went and buried him next to the cat, and since it had been raining that afternoon, the ground was all soft. At least it didn't take much to dig out a spot. She waited until I was finished and cleaned up, and we told the kids then. I guess after the sting of losing the cat, and knowing the other dogs were pretty old, it wasn't as hard for them to understand.
Posted on 11/30/17 at 1:59 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
Pray over them. Comfort them and let them eat the best.
I would get another dog
I would get another dog
Posted on 11/30/17 at 2:08 pm to DeoreDX
Thanks for the advice everyone. Didn't want to bring onions into the room or get the feels going, but needed the advice.
For now I think I'm going to continue our same everyday routine. She's acting the same as she has been (except for the occasional non-eating). The Vet gave us some prescription can food to supplement her dry food with and she loves that stuff. It's been a LONG time since I have seen her this happy about eating.
As for the girls, I'll continue to get them to spend time with her and take pictures. I don't think I am going to tell them until she passes or takes a turn for the worst.
As far as getting a new dog goes, I'm still up in the air. I need to see how everyone is after we get thru this. I work from home so I'll be able to spend time with both dogs before and after. Productivity looks like it's going to be down for a bit...
For now I think I'm going to continue our same everyday routine. She's acting the same as she has been (except for the occasional non-eating). The Vet gave us some prescription can food to supplement her dry food with and she loves that stuff. It's been a LONG time since I have seen her this happy about eating.
As for the girls, I'll continue to get them to spend time with her and take pictures. I don't think I am going to tell them until she passes or takes a turn for the worst.
As far as getting a new dog goes, I'm still up in the air. I need to see how everyone is after we get thru this. I work from home so I'll be able to spend time with both dogs before and after. Productivity looks like it's going to be down for a bit...
Posted on 11/30/17 at 2:22 pm to Tiger_n_Texas
First sorry to hear the bad news for you.
I think its a good idea that you aren't rushing into a new dog. Once you all have time to process you will know if you want a new one.
I think its a good idea that you aren't rushing into a new dog. Once you all have time to process you will know if you want a new one.
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