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Message
Your most desparate tme to take a shite?
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:25 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:25 pm
Several months ago, after spending a week battling the flu and an upset stomach that came along with the flu, I was ready for something that would stick to my ribs. My MIL was having a little get together at her house in Madisonville and she asked us (my wife and I) to come over. My BIL had just made a big pot of jambalaya and it didn't take me long to dig in. My stomach seemed fine with the solid food while we were there (a couple of hours)that is until the drive back to our home in Covington. I made it as far as the red light by Chick-fil-a on hwy 21, made an emergency stop to use their bathroom, but the place was packed and so was the bathroom. Ended up behind Target because I couldn't hold it any longer.
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 1:49 pm
22
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:28 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
quote:
Ended up behind Target because I couldn't hold any longer.
oh wow, that was you
what did you end up wiping your arse with?
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 12:29 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:29 pm to LaBR4
Grab napkins from chick while rushing out the door
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:31 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Ate a huge breakfast before heading for a hike down a single track trail at the Grand Canyon on a family vacation (I was in college). What I did not realize is that the walking and coffee was going to make me have to go about 30 minutes into the hike downhill.
I ended up ditching the family and turning around, headed back up to the rim to look for a bathroom. I didn't think I was going to make it, so I kept looking for any crevasse or spot to lean against. I got into a seated position a few times with my back up against the rock wall, but every time I chickened out due to tourists walking by (about 12" in front of me).
I ended up shitting meself.
I ended up ditching the family and turning around, headed back up to the rim to look for a bathroom. I didn't think I was going to make it, so I kept looking for any crevasse or spot to lean against. I got into a seated position a few times with my back up against the rock wall, but every time I chickened out due to tourists walking by (about 12" in front of me).
I ended up shitting meself.
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 12:33 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:31 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Not me personally but when one of my best friends was getting married he got the shits right before walking down the isle. He rounded us groomsmen up and told us to walk the bridesmaids as fast as we could. “This is not their fricking wedding so don’t let them take their time”
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 12:34 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:32 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
I bet she was like, damn, he really wanted these napkins
ETA just grabbed them from CFA, gotcha
ETA just grabbed them from CFA, gotcha
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 12:37 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:33 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
quote:
Roadkill Gumbo
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:35 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
when i was racing bikes i had to often get up at 4am so i could get to the location where the race was being held.
one time i woke up late and didnt have time to take my morning shite.
i suited up and was literally lined up with the other cyclists when it hit me and i had to make a beeline for the porta-potty.
for some misplaced reason (probably the $40 in race fees i had just paid) i had to be at the line when the race started so lets just say it was a very sloppy shite and even worse experience on the bicycle for the next 4 hours.
that was a day i'll carry around with me forever.
one time i woke up late and didnt have time to take my morning shite.
i suited up and was literally lined up with the other cyclists when it hit me and i had to make a beeline for the porta-potty.
for some misplaced reason (probably the $40 in race fees i had just paid) i had to be at the line when the race started so lets just say it was a very sloppy shite and even worse experience on the bicycle for the next 4 hours.
that was a day i'll carry around with me forever.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:36 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
quote:
(my wife and I)
You know what to do even if the OT is slipping.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:38 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
One Marsh Gras about 13 years ago I was in traffic with an SUV full of girls...it hit my stomach like a fricking sledge hammer. I begged them to get off the interstate over by the Claiborne exit. There was a intersection with a Popeyes, and two gas stations.
Gas station 1...no customer bathrooms.
Popeyes was open but inside doors were locked.
Gas station 2...same as #1.
I running across the damn street like I’m about to crap myself at any second. I finally go back to the car at the original gas station and another car of friends pulls up bc I have delayed our plans. One of my friends tells me to use the garbage can between the gas pumps...I had no other choice.
I turned to see the Middle Eastern Store clerk staring in disbelief.
Gas station 1...no customer bathrooms.
Popeyes was open but inside doors were locked.
Gas station 2...same as #1.
I running across the damn street like I’m about to crap myself at any second. I finally go back to the car at the original gas station and another car of friends pulls up bc I have delayed our plans. One of my friends tells me to use the garbage can between the gas pumps...I had no other choice.
I turned to see the Middle Eastern Store clerk staring in disbelief.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:39 pm to Rossberg02
quote:
use the garbage can between the gas pumps
quote:
I turned to see the Middle Eastern Store clerk staring in disbelief.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:42 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
At a boat launch getting ready to go fishing...ended up shitting next to a docked party barge.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:44 pm to LaBR4
Lucky for me, the dumpster behind Target was empty, jumped right into the motherfricker and told my wife to stand guard.
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 12:45 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:45 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
One time a bear had run me up a tree and I really had to go
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:47 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Worked at Wal-Mart as a teenager and one day had some issues. Made it halfway through and it hit me BAD on the opposite side of the store from the bathroom. Didn't make it. Got within a few feet of the bathroom and shite myself.
I just walked out and went home.
I just walked out and went home.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:49 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
1) Was about halfway through a run and couldn't hold it so I darted into some bushes and took a huge shite
2) Once had to go so bad that I stopped at a gas station. Both men's and women's bathroom was out of order. Didn't care, went into men's anyways, took the tape off of the toilet, and proceeded to blow that thing up. I couldn't flush because the toilet was broken, so I just walked out like nothing happened.
2) Once had to go so bad that I stopped at a gas station. Both men's and women's bathroom was out of order. Didn't care, went into men's anyways, took the tape off of the toilet, and proceeded to blow that thing up. I couldn't flush because the toilet was broken, so I just walked out like nothing happened.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:52 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
I took a shite between two Humvee's in the motor pool one time before heading out on a convoy.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:52 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
I had got giardia from lake water getting in to an open beer. I was on my way to work (I drive from laffy to br) and thought I could hold it when I got on to the basin bridge. I made it to the whiskey bay exit, hit a deer on the exit ramp, and shite all over my shirt and the center stripe of the road. Had to go shower at anytime fitness before work and buy some cheap clothes at wal mart. I tried to find the deer but I guess i didn't kill it.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:52 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
In HS I had to crap in the middle of a football game. I don't if there's a more embarassing "I have to shite" moment than sprinting 100 yards to the fieldhouse, chin strap buckled, with both home and away sides staring at your arse wondering if you'll make it.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 12:56 pm to bigrob385series
Oh wow.
Mine's not really great, but it is desperate.
We were heading to the beach and it hit me hard. There was a gas station and I thought I was fine. Pulled in and told my wife what was going on. I walk into the gas station and the men's bathroom was covered in disgusting shite. Its on the walls, its on the floor. Everywhere.
The women's bathroom is out of order. I say something to the clerk, and its apparent he knows, he just doesnt want to clean it up. Points me to a Subway that shares the building.
By this time, its pretty serious. My wife sees me come out and opens the door to ask me what is wrong. She knows what is wrong.
Subway door has hand written sign - No Public Restrooms. Im assuming that there is a problem with people coming from next door. I walk in and head to the restroom. They say no public restroom. I say I will buy something. They said I needed to buy something first. There is no time.
I signal my wife and tell her to get a sandwich or something, I have to go to the bathroom. I make it and I hear my wife being refused service. The Subway owner (Indian guy) says he is calling the police. At this point, I have sweet relief. My wife is trying to buy a sandwich. Guy is going crazy. I get finished, I try to diffuse situation and say we will purchase sandwiches but no go - he's refusing us service and has locked the door and called the police.
My wife is pissed. My then toddler daughter is scared. Im a little uncomfortable. Police arrive. Indian Subway guy tells him that I used bathroom before paying and there are no public bathrooms. Another police officer pulls up. He walks my wife, daughter and I out and we tell him what happened. We go into the gas station, show the police the mess - the whole nine yards.
In the end, the police in this small town apologize for the inconvenience, but inform me that the Subway in the gas station in New Augusta, Mississippi has banned me and my family for life.
Mine's not really great, but it is desperate.
We were heading to the beach and it hit me hard. There was a gas station and I thought I was fine. Pulled in and told my wife what was going on. I walk into the gas station and the men's bathroom was covered in disgusting shite. Its on the walls, its on the floor. Everywhere.
The women's bathroom is out of order. I say something to the clerk, and its apparent he knows, he just doesnt want to clean it up. Points me to a Subway that shares the building.
By this time, its pretty serious. My wife sees me come out and opens the door to ask me what is wrong. She knows what is wrong.
Subway door has hand written sign - No Public Restrooms. Im assuming that there is a problem with people coming from next door. I walk in and head to the restroom. They say no public restroom. I say I will buy something. They said I needed to buy something first. There is no time.
I signal my wife and tell her to get a sandwich or something, I have to go to the bathroom. I make it and I hear my wife being refused service. The Subway owner (Indian guy) says he is calling the police. At this point, I have sweet relief. My wife is trying to buy a sandwich. Guy is going crazy. I get finished, I try to diffuse situation and say we will purchase sandwiches but no go - he's refusing us service and has locked the door and called the police.
My wife is pissed. My then toddler daughter is scared. Im a little uncomfortable. Police arrive. Indian Subway guy tells him that I used bathroom before paying and there are no public bathrooms. Another police officer pulls up. He walks my wife, daughter and I out and we tell him what happened. We go into the gas station, show the police the mess - the whole nine yards.
In the end, the police in this small town apologize for the inconvenience, but inform me that the Subway in the gas station in New Augusta, Mississippi has banned me and my family for life.
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