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Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:05 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Was about 2 miles deep in the woods and had wet shits that I couldnt hold it in. Ended up shitting in the woods and having to use my undershirt to wipe my arse
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:13 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Was running around the LSU lakes at the half way point. Did it behind a live oak trunk but in complete view of the other side of the lake. Luckily it was very early on a Sunday morning so hardly any people were around. Someone's Sunday Advocate was my toilet paper.
MANY times while walking/hiking on trails.
MANY times while walking/hiking on trails.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:20 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Walking to the car after LSU/Oregon in Dallas back in 2011. Too much food and booze hit me about halfway back to the car. Look around and there is no place within reason to shite. SUV has a hitch carrier with 2 ice chests on it strapped down. Hop on top of them and hang my arse over the side and let it fly. Pulled off my underwear to wipe and hung them on the side mirror of the SUV. Glad we left a few minutes early I guess.
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 1:23 pm
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:20 pm to Rossberg02
I was flying baack from London after our annual christmas party and I am still pretty hungover when I get to LHR. I get a quick bite to eat before getting on the plane. Right when we start taxiing I realize I have to go, bad. I get up and run to the bathroom. The FA says the plane "can't move" until I go back to my seat. After I tell her it is going to be a long time, I guess she said frick it because we took off. It was probably an hour into the flight before I made it back to my seat.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:29 pm to TheDeathValley
Some of these are pretty funny but not all that desperate. I've shite outside and behind buildings plenty of times. Socks always come in handy when you need TP.
I will drop my pants and shite in front of a crowd before I shite myself... not that I haven't shat myself before but it was always on accident (sharts mostly).
I will drop my pants and shite in front of a crowd before I shite myself... not that I haven't shat myself before but it was always on accident (sharts mostly).
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:31 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
I'm pretty good at holding it. I think the worst I've done was hang over the side of my fishing boat while bass fishing
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:44 pm to TheDeathValley
quote:
I was flying baack from London after our annual christmas party and I am still pretty hungover when I get to LHR. I get a quick bite to eat before getting on the plane. Right when we start taxiing I realize I have to go, bad. I get up and run to the bathroom. The FA says the plane "can't move" until I go back to my seat. After I tell her it is going to be a long time, I guess she said frick it because we took off. It was probably an hour into the flight before I made it back to my seat.
Similar but it was during our landing. Had a sandwhich with bad lettuce for lunch just before getting on. We are on approach for the landing and I got up. Stewardess tells me I need to sit. I told her it was an emergency and I could either shite in the aisle or in the bathroom, her pick. She told me to go do what I had to.
One of the last ones off the plane. Had to go again in baggage claim. Got lots of knowing looks and some laughs.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:52 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
Just occurred about 30 minutes ago after returning from lunch.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 1:54 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
One morning a few months ago I had just started experiencing symptoms of the flu, but I didn't know it yet. The night before my wife accidentally made dinner a lot spicier than she intended (my stomach really can't handle super spicy stuff). Anyway, I wasn't feeling GREAT in the morning, but it wasn't anything I had to call in sick for. Little did I know about the literal shite-storm that was brewing
I had to go across the causeway first thing in the morning for a meeting and as SOON as I went through the tolls and got on my stomach starts a rumbling. Bad. I had to start debating on whether I wanted to be late and turn around at the first cross-over to go shite somewhere, or just risk it and hold steady. I decided I'm a grown man, I can wait 20 minutes. Fortunately, I made it across the causeway, but it got SO BAD that I was seriously contemplating stopping at a crossover and shitting on the ground or into the lake. I had even started scouting for cops, planning how I could best block the view of the other drivers, etc. I had almost completely resigned myself to the fact that it was just going to happen and started imagining what I would say if a cop pulled up.
So, I stopped at the first gas station, and ran (literally) to the bathroom only to find for some damn reason the men's bathroom door was propped open with 2 crates of soft drinks. Oh well, I was this close to shitting on the causeway, I thought, this is no big deal. I then had an explosive shite similar to Harry from Dumb & Dumber, with plenty of witnesses.
I had to go across the causeway first thing in the morning for a meeting and as SOON as I went through the tolls and got on my stomach starts a rumbling. Bad. I had to start debating on whether I wanted to be late and turn around at the first cross-over to go shite somewhere, or just risk it and hold steady. I decided I'm a grown man, I can wait 20 minutes. Fortunately, I made it across the causeway, but it got SO BAD that I was seriously contemplating stopping at a crossover and shitting on the ground or into the lake. I had even started scouting for cops, planning how I could best block the view of the other drivers, etc. I had almost completely resigned myself to the fact that it was just going to happen and started imagining what I would say if a cop pulled up.
So, I stopped at the first gas station, and ran (literally) to the bathroom only to find for some damn reason the men's bathroom door was propped open with 2 crates of soft drinks. Oh well, I was this close to shitting on the causeway, I thought, this is no big deal. I then had an explosive shite similar to Harry from Dumb & Dumber, with plenty of witnesses.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 2:01 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
My most desperate time occurred when I went to Mexico with several friends a few years back. Obviously, all we did was drink 24/7 for a week and eat like shite. On the second to last day, we picked up a brochure that offered swimming with whale sharks out in the open ocean, and we decided that that would be a great way to end the trip.
Well, some shady white van swung by the resort the next morning, and we all excitedly hopped in. We were told that the ride to the launch/dock would be about an hour and that multiple tour groups funnelled through the same place. Within 3 minutes of leaving the resort, I started suffering from Stage IV bubble guts. The ride was absolutely miserable, and fortunately I was wise enough not to trust a fart.
Just before we pulled up to the dock, we were informed that there was only one toilet that would be shared by more than 50 people. Nightmare scenario. I was determined to be the first fricker to get in there and lay down the law. As soon as the bus doors opened, I sprinted/hobbled/clenched my way to restroom, slammed the door shut, and unleashed the demons. The product of a week's worth of binge drinking is not something that I'm proud of...
It was not until I had finished wiping that I noticed the multiple signs posted on the bathroom walls that said, "Do not flush paper! Throw used toilet paper in the trash!" I looked down between my legs, and there was no way I was sorting through that mixture of sewage and poo paper.
All I could do was pray. I pulled down the flush handle, and the water, of course, immediately backed up to the lid to the point of spilling over. Welp. Nothing I could do. I washed my hands hurriedly and walked out to a line of at least 15 people.
I muttered to myself in fake shock, "Someone clogged the toilet before I got there" and booked it to the wet suit fitting room.
I then got on the boat feeling much better and had one hell of a ride!
Well, some shady white van swung by the resort the next morning, and we all excitedly hopped in. We were told that the ride to the launch/dock would be about an hour and that multiple tour groups funnelled through the same place. Within 3 minutes of leaving the resort, I started suffering from Stage IV bubble guts. The ride was absolutely miserable, and fortunately I was wise enough not to trust a fart.
Just before we pulled up to the dock, we were informed that there was only one toilet that would be shared by more than 50 people. Nightmare scenario. I was determined to be the first fricker to get in there and lay down the law. As soon as the bus doors opened, I sprinted/hobbled/clenched my way to restroom, slammed the door shut, and unleashed the demons. The product of a week's worth of binge drinking is not something that I'm proud of...
It was not until I had finished wiping that I noticed the multiple signs posted on the bathroom walls that said, "Do not flush paper! Throw used toilet paper in the trash!" I looked down between my legs, and there was no way I was sorting through that mixture of sewage and poo paper.
All I could do was pray. I pulled down the flush handle, and the water, of course, immediately backed up to the lid to the point of spilling over. Welp. Nothing I could do. I washed my hands hurriedly and walked out to a line of at least 15 people.
I muttered to myself in fake shock, "Someone clogged the toilet before I got there" and booked it to the wet suit fitting room.
I then got on the boat feeling much better and had one hell of a ride!
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 2:15 pm
Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:54 pm to Roadkill Gumbo
I was in the middle of Walmart when it hit me so I went to the front bathroom and only had one toilet and somebody was on it. So, I ran all the way to the back bathroom hauling arse and once again only one bathroom with somebody sitting on it. I said frick it and went in the women's bathroom with a lady washing her hands and I blew it up and told the lady it was a emergency and all the bathrooms were busy. She said oh my God and walked out. I didn't care what happened afterwards but I be damn if I was going to shite in my pants.
My former supervisor told me when he was working in downtown New Orleans it hit him like a ton of bricks and every door in the building had the pad where you had to press the code buttons. He got off the elevator on another floor and and found the bathroom and got happy. When he went to open the door he realized it had the pad on the door to press the buttons to enter and he said he knew it was too late and exploded in his pants.
My former supervisor told me when he was working in downtown New Orleans it hit him like a ton of bricks and every door in the building had the pad where you had to press the code buttons. He got off the elevator on another floor and and found the bathroom and got happy. When he went to open the door he realized it had the pad on the door to press the buttons to enter and he said he knew it was too late and exploded in his pants.
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