Worst job interview you’ve ever had (Long but worth the read)

So this is a story I do not like to talk about but I felt the OT would appreciate it. About six years ago, I felt my vocation was to work as a financial consultant, and I went to interview with a firm in New Orleans. The interview was around eleven in the morning, but a buddy of mine had performed a live reinactment of Beowulf in Opelousas the night before, so I had to bust it back to NOLA that morning to make it to the meeting, and I stopped off at Jack in the Box for lunch (horrible decision).

So I show up at the office at around 2 and there’s a panel of about six employees there to interview me. One of the members was my uncles ex wife who I hadn’t seen since I was about 12 years old. I tried to make light of the awkward situation by saying “Financy seeing you here” rather than “Fancy seeing you here” since it was a finance firm, but no one was amused. To make matters worse, she and I bumped heads as we did an awkward hug and kiss on the cheek. An older gentleman then proceeded to let me know that my fly was down also.

I thought the situation could only go uphill from there, but boy was I wrong. I was already suffering from a sore throat among other allergies, and I had numerous voice cracks as the panel interrogated me. I then sneezed into my coat sleeve, and looked down in horror to see green snot all over my sleeve, meaning I had to excuse myself to get a tissue. Additionally, my stomach was on fire from the jack in the box, and I damn near shite my pants. I could not control my bowels any longer, and I accidentally let a silent one out. I looked around the room and saw the looks of disgust on the face of the panel, and I was dismissed from the meeting shortly thereafter. Needless to say, I was not given the job. That day still gives me nightmares.