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re: worst experience you've had with a girl in bed
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:27 pm to billjamin
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:27 pm to billjamin
I'll contribute three stories:
#1 Some girl I hooked up with when I was 18 and she had single mom no daddy drama. Fighting with her mom, I went and picked her up and she came to my house and we smashed most of the night. I went to work the next morning and the girl was texting me as if she was going to stay at my house for a "little while". I came home from work smashed her again, then told her, yea I got to take you home. You aint staying here
- last time I saw her
#2 Drunk as F after Spanish Town and brought a girl home. My virgin friend from Florida was in town for Mardi Gras and staying at my place. Me and this girl start fricking and my friend walks in my room as we are fricking and he's like "john, what are you doing" - me "what the frick does it look like I'm doing..get the frick out." He stays for another 5-10 seconds and leaves..weird as frick
#3 I was taking some type of weightlifting supplement and I was out with my girlfriend (now wife), at the time. We get back to her place and start hooking up, and I couldn't get it up. Easily the most embarrassing feeling I've ever had. I freaked out, because it had never happened to me before
#1 Some girl I hooked up with when I was 18 and she had single mom no daddy drama. Fighting with her mom, I went and picked her up and she came to my house and we smashed most of the night. I went to work the next morning and the girl was texting me as if she was going to stay at my house for a "little while". I came home from work smashed her again, then told her, yea I got to take you home. You aint staying here
- last time I saw her #2 Drunk as F after Spanish Town and brought a girl home. My virgin friend from Florida was in town for Mardi Gras and staying at my place. Me and this girl start fricking and my friend walks in my room as we are fricking and he's like "john, what are you doing" - me "what the frick does it look like I'm doing..get the frick out." He stays for another 5-10 seconds and leaves..weird as frick
#3 I was taking some type of weightlifting supplement and I was out with my girlfriend (now wife), at the time. We get back to her place and start hooking up, and I couldn't get it up. Easily the most embarrassing feeling I've ever had. I freaked out, because it had never happened to me before
This post was edited on 1/27/22 at 8:30 pm
0
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:29 pm to charminultra
With a girl at the sandbar in Mississippi at night, freshman year in college. Skank from Delhi louisiana. We are drunk, we walk off near the bridge by a log and mess around. I have no condoms and don't want a baby. She is drunk and high, she said we can try anal. Lots of spit..anyway after I pull out I hear a pfffft and felt something land in my boxers. I twisted to see in the moonlight and its a huge terd. I crab walk to the river and flipped it in. No stains, pulled clothes back up and got another beer. Got her one too. We still friends to this day.
This post was edited on 1/27/22 at 8:35 pm
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:30 pm to charminultra
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/20/24 at 7:56 pm
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:31 pm to Hergadoogadoo
quote:
Could be true. I had a girlfriend years ago where I found little crumbs of balled up toilet paper in her pussy while I was going down on her. Happened 2 or 3 times with her.
My ex wife would take a piss before bed. I eventually learned not to go down on her.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:32 pm to charminultra
Last one..I think..a beautiful and tall female volleyball player. She was a huge flirt and I had been doing all I could to get her. Finally..she came over and was dtf. I went down and…omg…it was like somebody took two Arby’s roast beef half pounders and 86 the bun. I flipped through that thing like an encyclopedia trying to find something resembling a clit. It was impossible to just poke it in. Once you were in, it was like somebody wrapped a comforter around your pecker but it was like playing plinko getting through the folds.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:36 pm to charminultra
A tampon. She took her pants off, got on the bed and bent over, and I'm just in disbelief. Did she just forget? Does she think I'm just going to pull it out and go to town?
Needless to say, no sex that night and no number exchange.
Needless to say, no sex that night and no number exchange.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:37 pm to RealDawg
quote:
Did we make it this far without a squirter? It’s pee..don’t care what you say.
Brilliance!
Hence: worst experience
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:38 pm to AUbagman
quote:
A tampon. She took her pants off, got on the bed and bent over, and I'm just in disbelief. Did she just forget? Does she think I'm just going to pull it out and go to town?
You’re supposed to treat it like a mower pull starter.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:46 pm to Earthquake 88
quote:
. I still give that girl shite for raping me.
you can't rape the willing 
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:49 pm to shagnasty 2
quote:
With a girl at the sandbar in Mississippi at night, freshman year in college. Skank from Delhi louisiana. We are drunk, we walk off near the bridge by a log and mess around. I have no condoms and don't want a baby. She is drunk and high, she said we can try anal. Lots of spit..anyway after I pull out I hear a pfffft and felt something land in my boxers. I twisted to see in the moonlight and its a huge terd. I crab walk to the river and flipped it in. No stains, pulled clothes back up and got another beer. Got her one too. We still friends to this day.
quote:
shagnasty 2
You created this account in 2013 just to post this story 9 years later when the opportunity arose. That is amazing dedication. Upvote.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:49 pm to Fletch1985
IYKYK
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:50 pm to charminultra
I met a chick from Oregon at The Station several years ago and brought her back to my apartment. I tried to go down on her but she wouldn't let me. I didn't think much of it at the time, but proceeded to plow. I remember she wanted me to bite her neck and put my hand around her throat like I was choking her. Anyway I handled my business and when I went to clean up I noticed all the blood. Guess she was on the rag and didn't tell me. That was my first time smashing a chick on her period, but certainly not the last.
But that wasn't the gross thing. The situation reminded me of when I was in college, and I walked into the room and my buddy was going down on this big fat chick and he had blood all over his face. I almost threw up. When I asked him about it later, he said that where he's from they call that "earning your red wings."
I do remember hooking up with a chick at the Mullet Toss and fricking her in the arse, and there was a lot of lube involved and I remember it was sloshing all around and brown liquid all over the place, but I was so fricked up I didn't care
But that wasn't the gross thing. The situation reminded me of when I was in college, and I walked into the room and my buddy was going down on this big fat chick and he had blood all over his face. I almost threw up. When I asked him about it later, he said that where he's from they call that "earning your red wings."
I do remember hooking up with a chick at the Mullet Toss and fricking her in the arse, and there was a lot of lube involved and I remember it was sloshing all around and brown liquid all over the place, but I was so fricked up I didn't care
This post was edited on 1/27/22 at 8:52 pm
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:54 pm to moontigr
Y'all frickers will go down on anything. I'm not putting mouth to south until she has been properly vetted and is dating material.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:55 pm to charminultra
I told your mom I wouldn't talk about it.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:56 pm to Tuscaloosa
Ha! I got locked out of my original account and had to create another one.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 8:59 pm to billjamin
quote:
You’re supposed to treat it like a mower pull starter
Not me, but my buddy did this with some anal beeds. I saw the blood stains to confirm. The dirty whore had to go to the hospital.
Posted on 1/27/22 at 9:02 pm to SECSolomonGrundy
I can honestly say after nine pages, this thread delivers. Cheers OT! 
Posted on 1/27/22 at 9:04 pm to SlapahoeTribe
quote:
The next day I get a phone call from psycho boyfriend … a cop … and this guy threatened me and started telling me about how he followed her to my place and whatnot.
I’ve had this happen but the guy wasn’t a cop. Just a f’n psycho. I also had an instance where the guy was best friends with my probation officer AT THE TIME I was on probation. I just knew he was going cook up a case on me with my probation officer but he never even mentioned it to me. He kept it professional.
This post was edited on 1/27/22 at 9:10 pm
Posted on 1/27/22 at 9:09 pm to SECSolomonGrundy
quote:
Not me, but my buddy did this with some anal beeds. I saw the blood stains to confirm. The dirty whore had to go to the hospital.
So your buddy let you keep the beads after you got out of the hospital? That’s cool
Curious what story you told the nurses/ doctors?
Posted on 1/27/22 at 9:10 pm to BoogaBear
quote:
Where's the dude whose gf wanted him to dirty talk and he said something along the lines of "you like that don't you, you fricking retard"
I’m just hoping this is true, cause it’s hilarious
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