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Posted on 1/28/22 at 10:55 am to Allyn McKeen
quote:
We were in bed in the dark and suddenly there is a 6 or 7 year old standing next to the bed saying she is scared and wants to get in bed. Julie lifts the covers and her daughter gets in bed. After a while the two of them doze off.
You could have employed ninja sex methods. It can be done, though I found that it's difficult to be silent and undetected while an 8 year old is sleeping in the bed. Wondered sometimes if the mom had a bit of a thing about daring to be caught. Blew me in a walk-in closet once while the daughter was searching through the house calling for mommy.
Posted on 1/28/22 at 11:10 am to charminultra
Hooked up with a girl in Austin in her car after we had a few drinks together. She asks is I wanna go back to her place, so I say sure. She proceeds to call her husband to tell him she’s bringing someone else home and asks me if I mind being filmed.
I had to draw the line right there. Don’t really care to be filmed banging somebody else’s missus
I had to draw the line right there. Don’t really care to be filmed banging somebody else’s missus
Posted on 1/28/22 at 1:15 pm to charminultra
Met a girl in small town Florida..(prolly OT3 at best)….went to a “club” - got drunk, on the way back to my place, she said wanted to show me where she worked- it was a funeral home (!!) soooo yeah, she took me in the morgue and saw where the dead bodies were- i sobered up and lost any desire to f-ck —-she stayed over but we didn’t even make out- it was too weird
Posted on 1/28/22 at 1:20 pm to charminultra
my beagle diarrhea shite all over my and my college Gf while we were banging.. I had to rinse shite out her hair
Posted on 1/28/22 at 1:26 pm to Allyn McKeen
quote:
We were in bed in the dark and suddenly there is a 6 or 7 year old standing next to the bed saying she is scared and wants to get in bed
Very similar to the one I posted about. Except in my case, the chick got up butt-arse naked and took the girl back to her room. I stayed in her bed and when she came back she proceeded to climb on top and ride the heel out of me. That was early on into our relationship and ended up staying together about a year and a half or so
This post was edited on 1/28/22 at 2:34 pm
Posted on 1/28/22 at 1:34 pm to 850SaintsGator
You didn’t want a cold stiff one to take the edge off of the situation?
Posted on 1/28/22 at 1:39 pm to shagnasty 2
quote:
Lots of spit..anyway after I pull out I hear a pfffft and felt something land in my boxers. I twisted to see in the moonlight and its a huge terd. I crab walk to the river and flipped it in. No stains, pulled clothes back up and got another beer.
ETA: Name validates story.
This post was edited on 1/28/22 at 1:41 pm
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:00 pm to BoogaBear
quote:
Where's the dude whose gf wanted him to dirty talk and he said something along the lines of "you like that don't you, you fricking retard"
I can't fricking breathe
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:08 pm to Jumpinjack
quote:
Has to be the most Louisiana thing to discuss.
We know, Alabamians don’t put family business out to the public like this.
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:15 pm to charminultra
got a couple.
Once dated this chick that liked to have anal beads yanked out right as she was cumming. Well, once she shite herself.
Another, my high school sweetheart/girlfriend was a squirter, like really wet the bed when she came. it was fun at first, but that shite got old. Every time she came she literally flooded the whole damn bed. soaked the sheets and mattress. we learned to put a towel down
Once dated this chick that liked to have anal beads yanked out right as she was cumming. Well, once she shite herself.
Another, my high school sweetheart/girlfriend was a squirter, like really wet the bed when she came. it was fun at first, but that shite got old. Every time she came she literally flooded the whole damn bed. soaked the sheets and mattress. we learned to put a towel down
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:42 pm to charminultra
Pulled a pretty hot bartender when living in Germany. Shut the club down and we took the bus to her place. She was kinda quiet, but there was a language barrier, so I figured to stay in my lane. 3 beers in and it's smash time. She was like, a really loud screamer. Obnoxiously loud, but what does a dude think but to beat his chest over a screamer? An hour later and it is round 2, and of course, more hollering and I start yelling with her. Good times, right!
We wrap up, she feeds me some brats and it is about time for the 1st AM bus to get going. I go outside to wait for the bus and this old German lady is yelling at me in German. Then a couple more windows open and I am getting my arse chewed by 3 apartments until ultimately the entire building is yelling at me...in German. While I am getting my arse chewed by an apartment building, there is princess in her window blowing kisses. I literally thought this was it, they were going to drag me in and beat my arse. I ran off to hit another bus stop. I thought I was through.
So I developed a screamer complex that I can't shake. Can never deal with a screamer again. I would cover their mouths or use a pillow, trying to shut that shite down.
We wrap up, she feeds me some brats and it is about time for the 1st AM bus to get going. I go outside to wait for the bus and this old German lady is yelling at me in German. Then a couple more windows open and I am getting my arse chewed by 3 apartments until ultimately the entire building is yelling at me...in German. While I am getting my arse chewed by an apartment building, there is princess in her window blowing kisses. I literally thought this was it, they were going to drag me in and beat my arse. I ran off to hit another bus stop. I thought I was through.
So I developed a screamer complex that I can't shake. Can never deal with a screamer again. I would cover their mouths or use a pillow, trying to shut that shite down.
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:48 pm to redneck hippie
quote:
liked to have anal beads yanked out right as she was cumming
Like starting a lawn mower ?
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:49 pm to LordSnow
You have to do it good, lest it stall and you have to start all over again.
Posted on 1/28/22 at 2:56 pm to charminultra
Back in 96' on my way home from offshore I stopped at the curve lounge in InterCoastal City for a beer. There's a few guys in there and one girl at the end of the bar. I told the bartender to get her a drink. He said quietly, nah you don't wanna do that. I said nah frickit get her one.
I go down and talk to her and she's a 3/10 but in pretty good shape. One thing leads to another and we end up back at her camper. As I walk in I hit the light switch and roaches go everywhere so I turn it back off and figure frickit I've been offshore for 14 days I might as well get some pussy.
We find and lay on the bed and start kissing. I pull her shirt up and start sucking her nipple and she starts moaning and a little sweetness hits me. I figure maybe she just had a baby and is still breast feeding. Then I feel something go in my mouth. Not sure WTF it was but it was bitter at this point. I jump up and turn on the light and realize I had sucked the head out of a boil she had on her tit.. I should have listened to the bartender.
I go down and talk to her and she's a 3/10 but in pretty good shape. One thing leads to another and we end up back at her camper. As I walk in I hit the light switch and roaches go everywhere so I turn it back off and figure frickit I've been offshore for 14 days I might as well get some pussy.
We find and lay on the bed and start kissing. I pull her shirt up and start sucking her nipple and she starts moaning and a little sweetness hits me. I figure maybe she just had a baby and is still breast feeding. Then I feel something go in my mouth. Not sure WTF it was but it was bitter at this point. I jump up and turn on the light and realize I had sucked the head out of a boil she had on her tit.. I should have listened to the bartender.
Posted on 1/28/22 at 3:01 pm to Telecaster
Lots of women who need a weeks worth of flagyl. Now lots of men that need it too.
Posted on 1/28/22 at 3:05 pm to JDPndahizzy
realize I had sucked the head out of a boil she had on her tit..
---
THAT'S IT. I'M OUT!!
---
THAT'S IT. I'M OUT!!
This post was edited on 1/28/22 at 3:09 pm
Posted on 1/28/22 at 3:07 pm to ItzMe1972
Hey it happens..
Posted on 1/28/22 at 3:08 pm to BuckyCheese
quote:
worst experience you've had with a girl in bed
Stuck my thumb in her arse and got the worse smell ever.
No shite?
Posted on 1/28/22 at 3:09 pm to JDPndahizzy
quote:
I had sucked the head out of a boil she had on her tit.
If true, this is /thread for me.
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