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Started By
Message
re: Widowed Mother Dating Again
Posted on 4/12/18 at 12:28 am to SaltyNutSnack
Posted on 4/12/18 at 12:28 am to SaltyNutSnack
My dad died 3 years ago on Sunday. Coincidentally his birthday is (was?) Saturday. He had ALZ for the last 12 + years of his life and encouraged my mom to find someone else before he died - rough ending.
She had a few relationships and was incredibly naive. She had not been with any other man since the age of 18 (she is now 65) so I can't really blame her. She wanted to find what she had with my dad again so much she just saw the best in people. 1 in particular was a total scumbag and she didn't believe me when I told her until he literally went Schitzo on her.
My advice would be to Google the hell out of the dude and make sure he's not a psychopath. Sounds pretty harsh but I learned the hard way. I wish she would find someone and hoping when she meets the right person it will make me happy to know she's happy. In the meantime, I am every potential suitors worst nightmare. :-)
She had a few relationships and was incredibly naive. She had not been with any other man since the age of 18 (she is now 65) so I can't really blame her. She wanted to find what she had with my dad again so much she just saw the best in people. 1 in particular was a total scumbag and she didn't believe me when I told her until he literally went Schitzo on her.
My advice would be to Google the hell out of the dude and make sure he's not a psychopath. Sounds pretty harsh but I learned the hard way. I wish she would find someone and hoping when she meets the right person it will make me happy to know she's happy. In the meantime, I am every potential suitors worst nightmare. :-)
1
Posted on 4/12/18 at 12:53 am to SaltyNutSnack
Abel Keogh has a blog and written few books on the subject. Although pointed towards widows or women dating a widower, he has interesting points
Posted on 4/12/18 at 5:40 am to letsflamingle
Give your mom credit for waiting 5 years AFTER your dad passed away. My first wife starting dating before we were divorced!!!
Her life is a living hell now and I’m happier than I have ever been. Karma is a bitch .
I know... Dear Diary
Her life is a living hell now and I’m happier than I have ever been. Karma is a bitch .
I know... Dear Diary
Posted on 4/12/18 at 6:12 am to Jcorye1
quote:
I can see where it'd be odd, but I'd also want my parent to be happy.
frick calling the dude anything but his first name though.
Yeah all of this
Posted on 4/12/18 at 6:39 am to GRTiger
(no message)
Posted on 4/12/18 at 7:38 am to SaltyNutSnack
Listen. I know I’m not your dad. But I hope I can be your friend.
Posted on 4/12/18 at 7:45 am to SaltyNutSnack
Just make sure to speak with your Mother and get the IRA beneficiaries right.
Posted on 4/12/18 at 7:45 am to SaltyNutSnack
I hear in spiders the widow usually eats the husband
Posted on 4/12/18 at 7:51 am to SaltyNutSnack
Been there. Glad she found some happiness. My mom married her first boyfriend after my dad died. He brings nothing to the table financially. Woman that age should have know to shop around a little first.
Posted on 4/12/18 at 7:55 am to SaltyNutSnack
You better have "the talk" with her about the inheritance aspect. I lost my dad in 2009 and by La Law my sister and I as well as my mom split the property. Well since Mom still lived there...I wanted to do the right thing and donate my portion of the property back to her in lieu of just "usfrunct" (sp??) "use of". I talked my sister into doing the same...and later I read where widows were getting remarried etc and later the original children were left out of the picture....I made sure that would not be the case with my mom with "the talk". Luckily she believed my Dad was her soulmate and would never get involved with another man. To this day she still wears her wedding band and Dad passed in 2009.
Posted on 4/12/18 at 8:02 am to SaltyNutSnack
My grandmother used to say that if she died first she wanted my granddaddy to remarry. It's a sign that he was happy. If he didn't it means he was miserable and couldn't wait to be single again.
Posted on 4/12/18 at 8:12 am to SaltyNutSnack
Went thru this. I had no problem with it. My mom seemed to be more uncomfortable with it than I was. People are not loners by nature. They need friends. Many times, these types of relationships develop due to both being in similar situations. Let your mom be happy, and be genuinely happy for her.
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