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Started By
Message
re: Widowed Mother Dating Again
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:31 pm to SaltyNutSnack
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:31 pm to SaltyNutSnack
quote:
My parents were married for 40yrs and a few days later my dad died in his sleep of natural causes. This was 5yrs ago. A few days ago my mother informed me she has a bf. Did any of yall in a similiar situation feel weird when either your mom or dad had a different S.O for the first time? I know she shouldn’t live in grief though.
Trust but verify... start with the premise that you want to be happy for mom.... don't be afraid to quietly protect her interests though.....her happiness and companionship in her older age should be a welcome blessing, as long as she isn't being taken advantage of.
BTW, just so you know, my mom and dad were married for 48 years, and my mom passed away after fighting cancer on Christmas morning of 2012..... My wife and I introduced a wonderful woman to my dad less than a month later who had been married for 39 years and lost her husband to Leukemia 3 weeks after my mom died.....
My dad married that woman 7 months later in 2013 and it has been a wonderful blessing for both of them and for all of us.....
Again, trust but verify...and good luck and wish happiness for your mom!
0
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:31 pm to StrangeBrew
quote:
My FIL passed away in 2010, my wife's aunt died in 2011. My MIL started cruising around the world with my wife's uncle. So my mother in law was now sleeping with her sisters husband. Her excuse was they knew the same people.
In their defense they were in their 80's, so she had a point. ?
A prominent judge in N. La. Married his deceased wife's sister. Their kids were both cousins and stepsiblings.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:37 pm to SaltyNutSnack
My parents are divorced so a different situation, but I wish my mom (no pics, you don't want them) would get a BF. It would make her happy and she'd have less time time to text me all the time to entertain her. Win for everyone.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:39 pm to Jim Rockford
quote:
A prominent judge in N. La. Married his deceased wife's sister. Their kids were both cousins and stepsiblings.
I tell my wife she should call him Stuncle, step dad and uncle. She doesn't see the humor.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:40 pm to TigerFred
Thats a Geaux Tigers?
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:41 pm to SaltyNutSnack
A buddy went through a similar deal. Make sure he is treated no her right and be happy for her.
That deal ain’t about you still doing my make it about you. She likely struggled to get to that point.
My sister is a widow after 30+ years of marriage (her husband hanged himself). She has been dating a super nice guy for a while. Being the a-hole Brother I am a while back she was being a bitch about something and when she left the room I told her boyfriend “now you know why her husband hung himself”. We were laughing our asses off when she came back in.
That deal ain’t about you still doing my make it about you. She likely struggled to get to that point.
My sister is a widow after 30+ years of marriage (her husband hanged himself). She has been dating a super nice guy for a while. Being the a-hole Brother I am a while back she was being a bitch about something and when she left the room I told her boyfriend “now you know why her husband hung himself”. We were laughing our asses off when she came back in.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:59 pm to Sao
quote:
My mom is single at 72. I'll be back in my hometown at some point this year to look after her for the long haul. My siblings are not willing to so, well...
Living in Ruston now looking after my 87 year old dad, and my 83 year old mom. My mom's going blind from macular degeneration, and her hands don't work well because of rheumatoid arthritis. My dad had a stroke in 2016, and just doesn't think as well as he did before. I have had some health challenges of my own, so we been taking turns caring of each other since the end of 2010.
Moving back over to North Louisiana from Dallas seemed like a nightmare for a while, but it's my normal now, and I've enjoyed the time I've been able to spend with them.
I don't have to listen to KRLD in the shower and driving to work for traffic on the 8"s every morning any more either.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:00 pm to chinese58
There are worse places to land than Ruston.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:09 pm to Jim Rockford
Like Ferriday?
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:10 pm to SaltyNutSnack
5 years is a long time to be alone. Try to be supportive.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:11 pm to Bullfrog
Or Colyell or Back Vacherie
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:26 pm to OweO
quote:
My mom started dating someone about 3 weeks after my dad died,
quote:In retrospect, wish you had a do-over?
I thought that was way too soon, but I didn't tell her.
quote:Wouldn't that be “knock down, crawl out” moments?
my mom is married to that guy now, but him and I didn't jive. We had some "knock down, drag out" moments,
Y’all should have done a reality show.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:33 pm to SaltyNutSnack
If he’s a dick or you otherwise want him gone, Start hanging out in the reg and calling him daddy. Your mom will love you for trying to make it work.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:33 pm to SaltyNutSnack
Bruh
Your mom needs some dong. Chill out
Your mom needs some dong. Chill out
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:47 pm to Jcorye1
quote:Wait, what are the other options?
frick calling the dude anything but his first name though.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:53 pm to SaltyNutSnack
quote:
My parents were married for 40yrs and a few days later my dad died in his sleep of natural causes. This was 5yrs ago. A few days ago my mother informed me she has a bf. Did any of yall in a similiar situation feel weird when either your mom or dad had a different S.O for the first time? I know she shouldn’t live in grief though.
My mom was widowed and my sis was just widowed after 30+ years of marriage. I went thru the death of my fiance.
I know it is an odd adjustment to seeing your mom with someone new but if he makes her happy then i would be glad. No one knows the hell a person goes thru when losing a spouse.
If I were you i would try to befriend the guy one to one. If you two can establish a good relationship beyond just the time you spend with your mom and him, then it can be so valuable.
That way you get to know him better. Your mom will be relieved to see the most important guys in her life getting along.
If he is truly a good guy then it will make you feel so much better and will have the comfort of knowing your mom is being loved, cared for and most of all, happy.
This post was edited on 4/11/18 at 10:13 pm
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:17 pm to Sao
quote:
Let her be happy... unless you want her living full time with you in the future.
Excellent response
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:12 pm to SaltyNutSnack
quote:I am coming up on my wife's first anniversary of her death and also getting to close to what would have been our 40th wedding anniversary. If you love your mom and I assume that you do, then be happy for her and allow her to enjoy the remainder of her life. Believe me, she still loves your dad and always will love him before and above any other.
SaltyNutSnack
I can also tell you that as weird as it feels for you, it feels just as weird for her. She will struggle with thoughts of cheating on your dad and then worry about you and your siblings feelings, the feelings of other family and friends. She will seem happy at times, but will be struggling inside with the raw emotion of it all.
Other than the lost of a child, the loss of a spouse especially one from a good marriage is just plain fricking brutal. There are no answers to the questions that fill your mom's head or the loss in her heart. My advice is to support her. Five years is a long time for her to suffer in grief.
I wish you guys luck in the journey
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:45 pm to SaltyNutSnack
I understand your pain. My father passed 4 years ago. My mom started dating someone a year and half ago. It was very weird. I didnt like it, but I also wanted my mom to be happy. So I swallowed my pride and supporred her. He was an ok guy. I told him straight up youre not my dad and never will be. Your mom called you Chris, so im gonna call you Chris.
Unfortunately they ended up breaking up a few months ago. Apparently he was insecure. He felt that my mom talked about my dad too much. He doesnt like that. (So screw him) For context, this guy dated my mom in high school. She cheated on him, and then proceeded to break up with him. The guy who she left him for was my dad. The rest was history
Unfortunately they ended up breaking up a few months ago. Apparently he was insecure. He felt that my mom talked about my dad too much. He doesnt like that. (So screw him) For context, this guy dated my mom in high school. She cheated on him, and then proceeded to break up with him. The guy who she left him for was my dad. The rest was history
Posted on 4/12/18 at 12:04 am to SaltyNutSnack
After I divorced I lived with my dad for about a month. My mom had been dead like 6 years. Dad started dating about the time my ex wife and I split. While it wasn’t “uncomfortable” per se watching dad date, it was a little weird when the two of us would be together amongst guy friends (either his Or mine) and someone else in the group would make a comment about someone he’d been banging.
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