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re: Why do arrange marriages have such a low divorce rate?
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:39 am to PeteRose
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:39 am to PeteRose
They probably know going in that it's for the long haul and it's going to be a lot of work. They don't have the fairy tail nonsense clouding everything so they don't try to bail at every bump in the road.
ETA: They never have one of those "This isn't what I signed up for" moments. Because they're well aware of what they're getting into.
ETA: They never have one of those "This isn't what I signed up for" moments. Because they're well aware of what they're getting into.
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 7:42 am
0
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:41 am to PeteRose
My in laws weren’t exactly arranged but were definitely introduced by families(Eastern Orthodox and catholic not Muslim or Hindu). FiL from Lebanon and MiL Lebanese and Brazilian(huge population of Lebanese living in Brazil). FiL only spoke Arabic and some English and she only spoke Portuguese and a little Arabic. They learned English and came to the US and started a successful amusement business in the NE and now in south Florida.
I’d say she definitely has a slightly more traditional female role like many women in their 60s/70s but she was pretty instrumental in the success of the business as well. They’ve always been happy as can be according to my wife and BiL. Two very pragmatic people who have worked EXTREMELY hard (like 16-18 hour days at times growing the business) to better the lives of future generations of their family.
I’d say she definitely has a slightly more traditional female role like many women in their 60s/70s but she was pretty instrumental in the success of the business as well. They’ve always been happy as can be according to my wife and BiL. Two very pragmatic people who have worked EXTREMELY hard (like 16-18 hour days at times growing the business) to better the lives of future generations of their family.
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 7:44 am
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:42 am to PeteRose
I have a Pakistani friend whose parents have an arranged marriage. Said it’s more like a business arrangement between families and divorce would mean complete shunning by their friends and church. Basically ex-communication. They’re Muslim, but live in Atlanta.
The son is fully American and normal AF. Marrying a non-Muslim by choice.
The son is fully American and normal AF. Marrying a non-Muslim by choice.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:43 am to el Gaucho
quote:
It's kinda bs that we don't practice arranged marriages. Pick out some chick with traditional values in my socioeconomic strata? And when she screws up I can tell her paw paw and the family will straighten it out? Hell yeah
We could use a caste system around here too.
OTers at the top (ballers)
Baws in the middle
Soccer Board homos would be the dregs of society
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:45 am to PeteRose
quote:
Why do arrange marriages have such a low divorce
Because it doesn’t count as divorce if they murder you first
Posted on 3/27/18 at 7:52 am to PeteRose
I think aside from the obvious of being scared to leave, it's really just their societal norms.
Those same people may look at US marriages and think, why do these women even marry? They divorce so much it doesn't make sense.
I was just in SE Asia and our Cambodian guide was telling us about their arranged marriages and how he hates them, but it's just the norm so people go along with it.
He also said marriages there are such a competition, they'll invite the whole city to outdo the last wedding they went to. Basically "keeping up with the Joneses". He said families will spend their life savings (or what little they have) on a wedding without thinking twice just for appearance purposes.
Those same people may look at US marriages and think, why do these women even marry? They divorce so much it doesn't make sense.
I was just in SE Asia and our Cambodian guide was telling us about their arranged marriages and how he hates them, but it's just the norm so people go along with it.
He also said marriages there are such a competition, they'll invite the whole city to outdo the last wedding they went to. Basically "keeping up with the Joneses". He said families will spend their life savings (or what little they have) on a wedding without thinking twice just for appearance purposes.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 8:03 am to DavidTheGnome
Not true. I think it is more from two areas (from friends in arranged marriages). 1) They recognize Love is a choice/verb and work on what they need to. 2) There is a lot of honor at stake living up to each of their ends in the marriage. Their own honor, their families, etc.
I also think that in arranged marriages the man and woman take on the more traditional marriage roles which helps.
Hi divorce rates are by and large a by-product of the woman's movement which judging by the statistics really hasn't done anything to make woman more happy or satisfied.
I also think that in arranged marriages the man and woman take on the more traditional marriage roles which helps.
Hi divorce rates are by and large a by-product of the woman's movement which judging by the statistics really hasn't done anything to make woman more happy or satisfied.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 8:05 am to PeteRose
If you have a societal pressure built in that forces you to get married to someone you don't even know in the first place then there's an equally strong pressure preventing you from getting divorced. It's just a completely different concept of marriage where love is not expected.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 8:06 am to Revelator
quote:
He continues to frequently visit strip clubs and regularly haa boys night outs with his male Indian relatives.
My wife asked him what his wife thought about it and if he was worried she would divorce him for said actions.
He said there was no chance and that divorce was culturally shunned and almost never sought by Indian women.
Sounds awesome IMO
Posted on 3/27/18 at 8:06 am to PeteRose
Threat of death by stoning.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 8:08 am to deltaland
I wonder how much extra the strippers charge you if you're Indian 
Posted on 3/27/18 at 8:54 am to Scruffy
(no message)
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 9:07 am
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:03 am to PeteRose
When you remove the expectation of actually liking your spouse, you see no need to divorce.
That and your Dad chopping off a body part
That and your Dad chopping off a body part
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:19 am to PeteRose
You are pretty dumb if you don’t know why Asian arranged marriages hardly ever end in divorce. I’ll help you out. It’s not that mom and dad are such great match makers. It that the girl knows if she leaves she’ll at best be beaten and scarred for life or possibly even killed. Basically girls in Asian culture are taught from an early age that they are little better than property. She belongs to a man.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:26 am to Tiger Ryno
quote:
Because they value the family structure.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:07 am to PeteRose
Traveled to India quite a bit and in the newspapers there are entire sections of want ads for marriage. Basically gives a description of the family, what business they are in, etc... I made a comment to an Indian colleague of mine and told him I didn't realize they had newspaper ads for this stuff. He said this is very common and explained how they go about this stuff and why it works.
Basically India has a bunch of classes (castes). People in each class tend to have similar values... education, work, etc.. Very rare to see an arranged marriage between castes. Someone poor wouldn't have much in common with someone well off so the marriage would struggle because they and their families would have different values altogether. Just imagine some coonass that hunts and fishes in bare feet marrying someone in NY high society through an arranged marriage. It's an extreme but shows the difference in values.
Also, within castes there are differences as well. Some are lawyers, some are doctors, some are hotel owners, etc... professionals. Even within the caste itself, arranged marriages typically stick to similar professions. So, 2 families that are in the medical field are more likely to have an arranged marriage than a family in the medical profession and a family that generally practices law. So, there is a lot more in common with arranged marriages than meets the eye.
They don't put a premium so much on looks because looks fade as they say. Values are your values. Similar situation wherever arranged marriages take place. Done wihin economic classes.
Basically India has a bunch of classes (castes). People in each class tend to have similar values... education, work, etc.. Very rare to see an arranged marriage between castes. Someone poor wouldn't have much in common with someone well off so the marriage would struggle because they and their families would have different values altogether. Just imagine some coonass that hunts and fishes in bare feet marrying someone in NY high society through an arranged marriage. It's an extreme but shows the difference in values.
Also, within castes there are differences as well. Some are lawyers, some are doctors, some are hotel owners, etc... professionals. Even within the caste itself, arranged marriages typically stick to similar professions. So, 2 families that are in the medical field are more likely to have an arranged marriage than a family in the medical profession and a family that generally practices law. So, there is a lot more in common with arranged marriages than meets the eye.
They don't put a premium so much on looks because looks fade as they say. Values are your values. Similar situation wherever arranged marriages take place. Done wihin economic classes.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:15 am to PeteRose
A friend of mine married an Indian girl over the strenuous objections of her parents, who were both university professors. They never stopped trying to break up the marriage, and after three years, they succeeded. She subsequently married an Indian guy. Whether arranged or not, I don't know. Family influence is a powerful thing, especially in some cultures.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:33 am to PeteRose
Social pressure
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:43 am to PeteRose
No choice....no voice. No voice....no problems! That shite’s weak and disgusting in my eyes though.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:53 am to PeteRose
Because the women like having heads.
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