re: What's your relationship with your dad?

He died in June of 99. The most important
lesson I from him was not to let people take advantage or use you.

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My father is kind, generous, and wise. He is 80 now and I am trying to enjoy spending time with him as much as I can.

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Man, I wish my dad was like this. My dad is the complete opposite. He's stubborn, selfish, and fuss about every damn thing. My dad is the last person I would call if I'm ever in need for anything. I honestly can't think of anything he taught me growing up. My my idea of what a man should be was being the opposite of what he was. He was a good provider and I didn't need for anything, but he didn't foster much else with me or my siblings. He's pretty much the same with his grandkids too. One day when my son was about six years old, I was sitting in another room watching an interaction between the two of them. My dad was sitting on the couch watching tv, my son grabbed a ball and was standing on the opposite side of the coffee table, he said "paw paw" and held the ball up then threw the ball next to him onto the couch. My dad pretty much ignored him. My son walked around the couch and threw the ball across the other side of the table, and he kept doing that for about 5 minutes or so until he realized PawPaw wasn't going to play with him and he left to go to his room.

I've never heard my dad tell me he loved me or was proud of anything I've done in life. I try my best to be and do the opposite with my son.

He was mainly gone when I was a kid....after awhile he moved away and I'd see him once a year. About the time I was old enough to be a drinking buddy he got more involved which is how I largely think of him. Since MY son has been born he's shown alot of interest in being a grandpa...with my wife's support I've kinda let him...reluctantly and cautiously.

That being said I'm thankful to have had my step-dad and grandfather in my life

2. I was never good enough for him. Growing up he had his rules, the problem was no one knew the rules. He didn’t approve of my wife (married 42 years so far), our children and our grandchildren. His loss. He now has dementia but it hasn’t changed his opinion of me. The last time (this past spring) I saw and spoke to him, he told me I was a failure and didn’t matter. For me it was time to go NC.

Definitely #3. He had a terrible early life but worked his arse off to give us everything he did not have. As a kid during the depression his father dragged the whole family around the state finding what little work he could. It was brutal. He was a tough guy because he had to be.

He was not around a lot when we were kids because he was working 7 days a week and he was not wired to show affection.
He rode me and my brothers very hard, because he did not want us to be soft, to the point the I could not wait to GTFO when I was 17 and moved away for good at 23 to spite him.

It wasn’t until it was almost too late that he was able to tell me he was proud of me and he loved me.

He’s been gone 20 years I and now that I’m older I understand better why he was the way he was. He did what he had to.

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Mine was a 4. Best man I've ever known. I will miss him for the rest of my days.

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This…. He left here way too young he was only 60 and was only a few months from ten year anniversary of beating cancer when his heart gave out. It’ll be fifteen years since he passed in February.

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I was never good enough for him. Growing up he had his rules, the problem was no one knew the rules. He didn’t approve of my wife (married 42 years so far), our children and our grandchildren. His loss. He now has dementia but it hasn’t changed his opinion of me. The last time (this past spring) I saw and spoke to him, he told me I was a failure and didn’t matter.

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You know what’s sad… people like your Dad often unknowingly admit things about themselves whenever they insult or accuse other people. I think he meant that last bit for himself, but directed it towards you.

#4 my dad is my best friend

This post makes me sad. So sorry bro. Fam stuff is really hitting me hard right now losing my mom a month ago. This isn’t how it should be.

Dad was killed what will be 30 years ago in January. I was in 5th grade…he was my best friend. He worked away from home a lot trying to make sure I had everything I could ever want, so he wasn’t around a whole bunch but I sure did enjoy my time with him when he was.

Now that I’m older, everyone tells me I’m a lot like him, mannerisms and such. Odd little things I do that he used to do. I don’t remember him doing those things but my mom and grandparents always tell me how the things I do remind them of him. I still miss him and think about him every single day. The stupid cliches people tell you that it will get better or easier over time…bullshite. It never gets better.