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Started By
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re: What’s your best dad joke?
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:07 am to fastlane
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:07 am to fastlane
What did the momma ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.
What to do when you get swallowed by an elephant?
Run around inside until you get pooped out.
How did the duck pay for his drink?
Put it on his bill.
Fasten your sheet belt.
What to do when you get swallowed by an elephant?
Run around inside until you get pooped out.
How did the duck pay for his drink?
Put it on his bill.
0
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:08 am to Darth_Vader
What is Darth Vaders wife’s name?
Ella…
Ella…
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:08 am to fastlane
How do you make Holy Water?
Boil the hell out of it.
Why couldn’t the beaver get back home? He couldn’t find the dam door
Boil the hell out of it.
Why couldn’t the beaver get back home? He couldn’t find the dam door
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:17 am to fastlane
Why is Santa smarter than Tiger Woods?
Santa knew to stop at three “Ho’s”,
Santa knew to stop at three “Ho’s”,
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:23 am to fastlane
Where does a woman with one leg work?
IHOP
IHOP
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:26 am to TigerLunatik
I told someone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. I was raisin awareness
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:28 am to fastlane
What does a dog say when they are sick?
BAAAARRRRFFFF
BAAAARRRRFFFF
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:35 am to fastlane
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Zero
They would rather sit in the dark and cry.
Zero
They would rather sit in the dark and cry.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:46 am to BeefSupreme
Why did the guacamole taste funny?
It was made with hahavacado
It was made with hahavacado
Posted on 1/21/24 at 11:47 am to 225rumpshaker
What's the best way to take someone's coat?
You jacket
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
You jacket
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:02 pm to fastlane
A doting father asks his supervisor to give his son a chance at the job opening so the supervisor tells him to have his son come in the next day.
The father is allowed to sit in the interview with the young hopeful and the supervisor.
Supervisor says, I only have 3 questions for you and if you get them correct you've got the job.
Question 1: What is 3 feet in inches? The young man quickly responds, 36 inches.
Question 2: What weighs more, a pound of lead or a pound of feathers? The young man quickly responds, they both weigh the same- one pound. Very good, the supervisor says as the father anxiously is focused on his son.
The supervisor says, I only have one more question. Answer it correctly and you have got the job!
Question 3: What is 9 times 6? The young man thinks for a few seconds, scratches his head as he closes his eyes and trys to come up with an answer. Suddenly he blurts out, it's 54!
The father immediately jumps up and shouts, Please give him another chance sir.
The father is allowed to sit in the interview with the young hopeful and the supervisor.
Supervisor says, I only have 3 questions for you and if you get them correct you've got the job.
Question 1: What is 3 feet in inches? The young man quickly responds, 36 inches.
Question 2: What weighs more, a pound of lead or a pound of feathers? The young man quickly responds, they both weigh the same- one pound. Very good, the supervisor says as the father anxiously is focused on his son.
The supervisor says, I only have one more question. Answer it correctly and you have got the job!
Question 3: What is 9 times 6? The young man thinks for a few seconds, scratches his head as he closes his eyes and trys to come up with an answer. Suddenly he blurts out, it's 54!
The father immediately jumps up and shouts, Please give him another chance sir.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:03 pm to fastlane
I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse!
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:06 pm to fastlane
When does a Dad Joke become a daddy?
When he cums.
When he cums.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:07 pm to DarthRebel
Why can't Chinese couples have a Caucasian child?
Two wongs, do not make a white.
Two wongs, do not make a white.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:08 pm to DarthRebel
What is the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One is a super hero and one is a command.
One is a super hero and one is a command.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:10 pm to fastlane
So Mickey Mouse took Minnie Mouse to divorce court.
A few minutes in the judge asks Mickey to stand and tells him “Mr. Mouse, now I do understand that you find your wife a bit, well, different and eccentric, but that’s no reason for me to grant you a divorce here in my court.. I’m afraid I’m just going to have to order marriage counseling for the two of you today.”
Mickey replies “No Your Honor, you took what I said all wrong…I said the reason I want a divorce is because Minnie is fricking Goofy!”
A few minutes in the judge asks Mickey to stand and tells him “Mr. Mouse, now I do understand that you find your wife a bit, well, different and eccentric, but that’s no reason for me to grant you a divorce here in my court.. I’m afraid I’m just going to have to order marriage counseling for the two of you today.”
Mickey replies “No Your Honor, you took what I said all wrong…I said the reason I want a divorce is because Minnie is fricking Goofy!”
This post was edited on 1/21/24 at 12:11 pm
Posted on 1/21/24 at 12:39 pm to Crimson1st
Guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables around his neck. Bartender says “I’ll serve you but don’t try and start anything”
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:09 pm to yakster
quote:
What is Darth Vaders wife’s name?
Ella…
Now that’s a dad joke!
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:10 pm to fastlane
What’s easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman
A woman
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:12 pm to fastlane
How do you know when Alice In Chains is hungry?
They Come To Sniff the Roaster.
They Come To Sniff the Roaster.
This post was edited on 1/21/24 at 2:26 pm
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