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Started By
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re: What's the Best Drinking Toast You've Ever Heard
Posted on 1/7/15 at 8:30 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
Posted on 1/7/15 at 8:30 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
"May we be dead long before the devil finds out"
May we be half way to heaven before the devil knows you're dead?
1
Posted on 1/7/15 at 9:09 pm to northern
The key is to use a witty saying before it becomes a shitty pop-country song theme, preferably before it even becomes a bad bumper sticker sold in Gatlinburg.
Posted on 1/7/15 at 9:23 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
"Do it, and do it well, and if it's a boy, name it after me."
Posted on 1/7/15 at 9:40 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
before it even becomes a bad bumper sticker sold in Gatlinburg.
This.
I have to go there several times a year for work. You have 18 to 36 months before they have destroyed it.
I gave a toast at my roommates wedding. He didn't have a wedding party and had asked me to help park cars (the wedding was at a small house) and then his fiance asked me to give the toast at the reception.
We were roommates for a couple years of undergrad and then a couple of grad school but I didn't know his family (or hers). Thus both families saw me at the wedding helping park cars (in the rain). So when I stood up to give the toast at the reception they all thought I was drunk hired help.
My toast:
"If you steal, may you steal each others hearts;
If you cheat, may you cheat death;
If you lie, may you lie together; and
If you drink, may you drink with ME!!"
Zero response. I sat down and my date (who ended up being my wife) said "let's go."
Posted on 1/7/15 at 10:01 pm to CroakaBait
I'm fricking this monkey you're just holding the head...Cheers.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 7:23 am to TigerFanInSouthland
"to the saints winning the superbowl...and big tits"
Posted on 1/8/15 at 7:37 am to LSUTygerFan
Here's to living long and prosperuos, and not taking home a girl that looks like a rhinoceros.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 7:45 am to Tigerdad2001
To honor... if you can't cum in her, come on her.
Almost forgot the submariners chant...
Submarines once, submarines twice
Holy jumping Jesus Christ
We go up, we go down
We don't even frick around
Aaaooogah, aaooogah, DIVE! DIVE!
Rat shite, fat shite
Dirty little twat
69 assholes tied in a knot
Cocksuckers, motherfrickers
Gobble gobble goo
We are submariners
Who the frick are you?!
That's some goddamn poetry right there.
Almost forgot the submariners chant...
Submarines once, submarines twice
Holy jumping Jesus Christ
We go up, we go down
We don't even frick around
Aaaooogah, aaooogah, DIVE! DIVE!
Rat shite, fat shite
Dirty little twat
69 assholes tied in a knot
Cocksuckers, motherfrickers
Gobble gobble goo
We are submariners
Who the frick are you?!
That's some goddamn poetry right there.
This post was edited on 1/8/15 at 7:53 am
Posted on 1/8/15 at 7:56 am to TigerFanInSouthland
May all your desires be fulfilled except for one, so you'll always have something to strive for.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 7:58 am to terd ferguson
quote:
Gobble gobble goo
Yeah, sounds like a submariner chant.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:01 am to LSUBoo
Don't judge me...
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:02 am to terd ferguson
It's not gay if you're underway.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:06 am to nc14
Can you people really not complete a sentence without following it with "Rawll Tahd"?
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:09 am to TigerFanInSouthland
"How about that drive in? I guess that's why they call it Laplace."
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:10 am to Guava Jelly
It was a commercial, damn. Can you people not complete a post without 
?
?Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:13 am to nc14
Yet it's still your favorite "toast."
It doesn't bother me. I just pity people who tie so much of their identity to a bunch of 20-year-olds playing a game.
It doesn't bother me. I just pity people who tie so much of their identity to a bunch of 20-year-olds playing a game.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:20 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Here's to the girl in the little red shoes,
She'll steal all your money, she'll drink all your booze,
She ain't got a cherry, but that's no sin,
She's still got the box that the cherry came in.
Here, Here.
She'll steal all your money, she'll drink all your booze,
She ain't got a cherry, but that's no sin,
She's still got the box that the cherry came in.
Here, Here.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:42 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Here's to the heat..
Not the heat that burns down shanties,
but the one that excites and brings down panties.
Not the heat that burns down shanties,
but the one that excites and brings down panties.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:46 am to yankeeundercover
It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 8:53 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Here's to staying positive and testing negative
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