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Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:24 pm to fareplay
When interviewing use the STAR method for your responses if asked a question. I use crazy stories from the past, but have caught their attention real fast for describing something.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:24 pm to Eightballjacket
quote:
Knock knock jokes are always winners.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your future manager. Now GTFO of my office, plebe.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:25 pm to fareplay
Nervously laugh and say I'm so stupid. Gets em every time.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:26 pm to fareplay
What would you say if we hired someone with no shirt on?
"He must have had a hell of a pair of pants on"
"He must have had a hell of a pair of pants on"
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:28 pm to fareplay
tell them when you were a baby you were breastfed by your father...your mom wouldn't do it...she told you she only liked you as a friend...
Works every time. Very disarming and they'll know you're adaptable.
Works every time. Very disarming and they'll know you're adaptable.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:28 pm to fareplay
Rip a fart / shart.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:28 pm to fareplay
That's a good question. I've never really had a go to joke. I normally find something during the interview process to crack a joke at. I've always done well during interviews. I've never interviewed for a job that I didn't get honestly. Boy was they fooled! I've had plenty... I know how to shite talk my way into and out of just about anything. Fourtunate to have the gift of gab in certain situations.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:29 pm to fareplay
quote:
What is your go to joke during an interview?
I ask about their spaghetti policy.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:29 pm to fareplay
Hey do you know how a monkey would get down those stairs?
.....by sliding down the banana-ster!
.....by sliding down the banana-ster!
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:37 pm to LucasP
quote:
Do y'all drug test?
Employer: "We do."
You: "I can't work here..."
Posted on 1/5/18 at 1:58 pm to fareplay
“Drug test? Sure! What kinds of drugs do you want to test on me?”
2nd option: “Convicted? No.”
2nd option: “Convicted? No.”
This post was edited on 1/5/18 at 2:03 pm
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:08 pm to fareplay
There once was a man from nantucket
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:09 pm to fareplay
Serious response here...
Q "What would you say is one of your weaknesses that need improving?"
A "Answering these kinds of questions."
Just don't say it deadpan and it's golden. Every Single Time.
Q "What would you say is one of your weaknesses that need improving?"
A "Answering these kinds of questions."
Just don't say it deadpan and it's golden. Every Single Time.
This post was edited on 1/5/18 at 2:10 pm
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:11 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
Ask. If you check under the desk and make sure there isn't a Matt Lauer button before you proceed
If I was being interviewed by male(s), I think this could be a hit. Shake their hands and do like a peer over the desk and say “y’all don’t have a Matt Lauer button back there, huh?” I’m laughing my arse off just imagining it.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:18 pm to fareplay
A jew a Catholic priest and a hiring manager walk into a bar.
the jew says these prices are too high
the priest complains every one in here is too old
the HR manager says I'm a retarded and this is the only job i can get and Im too fat for this dress
kills every single time
the jew says these prices are too high
the priest complains every one in here is too old
the HR manager says I'm a retarded and this is the only job i can get and Im too fat for this dress
kills every single time
This post was edited on 1/5/18 at 2:19 pm
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:39 pm to fareplay
I don’t remember exactly how it goes, but it ends with,
“After the Florida fan finished fricking the goat with its head stuck in the fence, the Florida fan asks the Aggie if he wants some. The Aggie replies, “hell yes” and sticks his head in the fence.”
“After the Florida fan finished fricking the goat with its head stuck in the fence, the Florida fan asks the Aggie if he wants some. The Aggie replies, “hell yes” and sticks his head in the fence.”
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:42 pm to fareplay
A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30. He is persuaded to have a medical exam first. "Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor. "Okay," says the medic, "let me see your sex organs." So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:43 pm to pjab
quote:
“After the Florida fan finished fricking the goat with its head stuck in the fence, the Florida fan asks the Aggie if he wants some. The Aggie replies, “hell yes” and sticks his head in the fence.”
A LSU fan is hosting a tailgate and invite a bunch of other figs for the gaysex
Posted on 1/5/18 at 2:43 pm to fr33manator
I started laughing at that point too. 
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