re: what is the craziest sex story you have had or have heard from a friend?

For me I was drunk in destin and picked up a girl at florabama and had sex at 3 am on the beach while random people were walking by. Then some a-hole grabbed my clothes and scattered them down the beach and I spent 30 minutes walking around naked looking for my clothes and wallet.

Or the time I was in Pcb and picked a girl up at harpoon Harry's and took her to my truck and was hittin it in the back seat and a tow truck guy came up to my window and informed me if I didn't move the truck he would tow me. So I got out butt naked on front beach road in front of hundreds of cars, waved, got up front and moved my truck

You were drunk in Destin and drove like 2.5 hours to the Florabama?

Here's the story with that one:

This chick came to a party (my buddy's gf's roomie) that we had across the parking lot at Azalea Point. She had a skinny waist, but a huge arse, so I decided I wanted to see it. After a few hours of drinking, I told her "Let's go back and frick". She agreed, so we walked to her place and I got ready to do the deed.

I got butt naked in her room, and she was getting undressed. Well, in that short time, she decided that she wanted to show me her lingerie collection. I had no idea it was so extensive. That was all fun and games for about 5 minutes. It was not fun and games 40 minutes later when she was still trying on stuff. I started falling asleep, and she got mad, so she jumped on top of me and we went at it. She had silk sheets, and I kept sliding off of them, so that was another aggravation. I think I was the second dude to be in there, and she was pretty rough. After an hour or two of getting it on, I was hurting pretty badly.

I walked back to my buddy's place around 6am (everyone was still partying), and realized that I was a little worse for wear. She sucked on my ears so hard that my earlobes were purple. My lip was swollen from her sucking and biting on that. I didn't realize how bad the scratches on my back were until I showed my buddies. They were actually bleeding through my white shirt. It looked like I had been in a fight. I skipped school and work the rest of the week because of my war wounds, and still have the scars on my back 10 years later.

Second one:

In HS, I was getting it on with this girl in her car at my dad's house. All of a sudden, her fan decided to eat the fan shroud and sounded like a chainsaw. Whatever, we kept at it. Maybe 5 minutes later, her car overheated and steam was billowing from under the hook. I went and got the hose and started to spray the radiator, and my dad heard the water running and came outside. I was in my boxers and she was naked when that happened. He decided he wanted to be the midas man, and spent 30 minutes fricking with her car after the fiasco.

The same girl had a sex swing in her room, and a couple of weeks later it came out of the ceiling while we were having sex and her mom rushed in after she heard the noise. Evidently sex swings shouldn't be held in place by sheetrock.


Third one:

I dated this chick that was a bipolar sex addict. I actually had to tell her to chill with it after a couple of months because it was cutting into my school/work time. By addict, I mean 5-10 times every day. Well, she decided to come out of her room naked one afternoon and jump on me. Funny thing was that her girl roommate was sitting on the sofa 10ft away. My gf pulled my pants off, and the girl hesitantly watched is go at it for maybe 15 minutes. After that day, she'd watch two or three times a week and flick her bean. Eventually led to a few threesomes, but she was horrible in bed and my gf was phenominal, so I avoided it after maybe 5 times unless I was drunk. This chick had been, and still was, dating someone for 3 years at the time.

Fourth one:

I used to go at it with another gf pretty rough, and one night at a party, I went into my room and drew a target on her arse in permanent marker. After we were done, I made her walk into the kitchen, with about 5 people in there, naked and with the painted target.

5:

I nailed this one chick in my truck after Fred's one night, and she took her ID and money and put them by my shifter. After we were done, I walked her up to her room and didn't realize she forgot the stuff until I was on my way home. I ended up buying a flat of Nat and going to a party, and giving her the ID two days later.

This is the reason I now have to take seizure meds:

After a party at our house one night, I was about to go to sleep, and this chick said she wanted to sleep over. Cool. So we walk into my room, and unbeknownst to me, one of my regular f-buddies was laying in my bed naked. The regular one was much hotter than the newbie. Being the genius that I am, I immediately thought to have a threesome. Well, both of these girls were not down for that. The new chick went in my buddy's bed (same room), and the regular stayed in my bed. I started pounding the regular, and the new one gets annoyed and calls me over. I start going at it with her. Then, the regular gets jealous and makes me go back over there. I was raw dogging them both and the chick starts blowing me and saying how good the other girl tastes, and I should put it in her because tasting the new chick turned her on. Back and forth for a few hours, but I took care of business for both of them. I was very worn out and still pretty damn drunk.

I always wash myself after banging new chicks so as to protect myself from diseases. I went to do that, and took a shower instead. I was so exhausted, I puked in the shower. When I was drying off, I slipped and knocked myself out on the toilet. I was unconscoius for about 30 minutes, and had to crawl back to my room naked because I broke my back in the fall. That hit on the head knockedmy head in a way that I had a few seizures, and will have to take meds for the rest of my life. If I could take that night back, I would


*Plenty more just as good, but those are the first ones that come to mind

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That hit on the head knockedmy head in a way that I had a few seizures, and will have to take meds for the rest of my life. If I could take that night back, I would

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Wow man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your story and your symptoms sound exactly like a brain tumor. A lot of times people don't have any symptoms until a bump on the head aggravates it and makes the tumor swell. I would get an mri as soon as possible and hope that it's still operable before it gets worse.

A brain tumor would explain the seizures and the delusions of grandeur.

Can we change the title to trashiest sex story?

Y'all are some nasty motherfrickers.

I once woke up in the middle of the night on a friend’s couch in college after a party in Austin getting dry humped by a complete weirdo stranger. So i pushed her off me and went and woke up my buddies, we walked back in the room and she was bent over on the ground on all 4’s grabbing the coffee table acting like she was getting drilled (but nobody was there). So then we finally woke her up and snapped her out of it after much trying. Once she finally came back to life, she pulled down her pants and pissed all over the floor.

I went and slept on the floor in my friends room and we just left that girl in the living room. We had to drop her off at her friend’s apt the next morning.

One of my friends wanted to take a vacation on his two week R+R after being in deployed for six months. We ended up on a cruise in November, which usually is slim pickings. for two or three days we kept seeing these two OT6s at the pool by themselves. One night we are playing blackjack and these two chicks walk up behind us. We get up to go to one of the bars on the ship and they ask if they can come with us.

After many drinks one of girls goes back to the room with one of my friends and the other comes out to the back of the ship with me. She decides that it would be a thrill to have sex on the deck of the ship and I oblige. This tryst continues for two more days.

One day we get off in Cozumel and go to an all inclusive beach club. I'm laying in this hammock drinking and I see this same chick playing in the water with another guy. The guy goes to the bathroom and she immediately runs to me and asks what I'm doing tonight. I ask who that is and she says my husband. I tried to cut her off at that point but he saw her talking to me and kicked her out of their room and cut off her card for the rest of the week. She never wore a ring and it was probably the most awkward situation I've ever experienced.

The other girl that my friend was with also was with her boyfriend, who as it turns out paid for all of them to go on the cruise with inheritance money from the death of his grandmother.

My Sophomore year at Ole Miss I was pledging Pike and used to get really tore up. We ended up back at an apartment complex for a late nighter. There was another late night going on with some sorority chicks. I went up stairs and starting yell, I want some P and they yelled back at me to get out. So I started throwing their stuff off the porch as far as I could.

Next thing I was like fast forwarded to a point in time, not knowing how much time had passed. I just woke up or actually came to my senses. I was walking next to a hot chick at a totally different apartment complex. I was thinking "Who the heck is this babe? And where are we going? Are we heading to her place or what? God I hope so!"

About that time a hot rod looking Buick Regal pulled up on the street in from of the parting lot we were waling through and a guy yelled out the window at the girl and asked "What the Hell are doing?" To which the girl replied, "You had some fun, now I am going to have some fun!" I remember thanking God about that time. Then he asked her to just come over for a minute. She told me to stay right there and she would be right back. She walked up to the car and he grabbed her and rolled up her arm all the way the top, in essence locking her to his car and he floored it. She sped off yelling my name. I ran as fast as I could but he never stop until he was out of sight.

In a strange twist of fate I meet her out at bar almost a year later and she told me that her arm was bruised to the bone a couple of weeks and that she was with him still. Closed the deal.

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This chick came to a party (my buddy's gf's roomie) that we had across the parking lot at Azalea Point. She had a skinny waist, but a huge arse, so I decided I wanted to see it. After a few hours of drinking, I told her "Let's go back and frick". She agreed

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Stopped reading right here.

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Skinner

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Mutherfricker!