re: What is the best office prank you either did or saw?

You forgot soccerfag

I’m crying laughing at this!

One of the best "prank" sites out there is from a guy who has been trolling Craigslist posters for years.

DONTEVENREPLY.COM

Example: (sorry about the length, but stick with it)
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Original ad:

Attention all ice skaters and hockey players! Volunteers needed to train children participating in the Special Olympics hockey team. Anyone with adequate skating skill can be used to help teach our athletes to skate. Please call 410-***-**** or respond to the email address above.
Judy

From Me to ************@**********.org

Judy,

I am writing in response to your ad regarding helping children learn to skate.

I was a legend in minor league hockey until my career was cut short by a career ending injury. I still love the game of hockey though and would love to pass on my skills to your wonderful children. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Mike,

I am sorry to hear about your injury. That is very unfortunate. Are you still able to skate? I only ask because we need someone to skate one-on-one with the children.

Judy

From Me to Judy *******:

Oh yes, I am still able to skate. I think you misunderstood me. My career was cut short because I was banned after causing another player to have a career ending injury. It was an unfortunate accident, but the league came down extremely hard on me. It really wasn't fair, if you ask me.

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Yikes! What were the circumstances of the ban/injury, if you don't mind me asking?

From Me to Judy *******:

Not at all. It really wasn't a big deal. The guy was fine, but everyone turned it into this huge ordeal. During a fight, I broke his eye socket, fish-hooked his cheek apart and slashed his achilles tendon with my skate. He also suffered brain damage from blood loss, but that is more the paramedics fault than mine for letting him bleed out for so long. Looks like the only sport he'll be playing now is "shi++ing in a bag" (heh heh). Anyway, the pu$$ies at the commissioner's office considered it "gross misconduct" and "assault" and gave me a lifetime ban. Can you believe that? I thought this was supposed to be hockey!

So like I said, I was a legend in minor league hockey. My nickname used to be "Murderin' Mike" (don't worry, I never actually murdered anyone. It was just a cute nickname). I won more fights than everyone else in the division combined. In fact, I've only ever lost one fight on the ice. But I won the rematch in the parking lot (thank you, tire iron!) I know everything there is to know about fighting and would love to pass on my skills to your kids. If you want them to be the best damn hockey fighters in the special olympics, I am your guy. With my training, the other teams won't stand a chance. The ice will be stained with their blood, teeth, and broken dreams.

I am currently in between jobs so I can dedicate a lot of time to helping out.

Best,

Murderin' Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

What do you think this is? The Special Dlympics are for the mentally handicapped. You know that, right? What you described is brutally violent and has no place in the Special Olympics. Frankly I think you deserve to be in jail. Thank you and goodbye.

From Me to Judy *******:

Whoa there. Don't be so dismissive! Do you even know anything about hockey? It sounds to me like you think hockey is just soccer on ice. Well I've got news for you, Judy, you couldn't be more wrong. In hockey, we don't fake injuries and have to miss half the season due to a pulled vagina muscle. We fight it out like men. Fighting is what hockey is all about. It is a tradition that dates back to the first hockey game ever played. If you want your kids to learn how to play hockey, they are going to have to learn how to fight.

I'll teach your kids how get away with everything without the referee seeing it. I'll show them how to make butt-ending, head checking, slashing and tripping look like an accident. They'll learn how to fight like hockey players. I have a whole set of moves I like to use during fights. My personal favorite is the "bowling ball", where you gouge both of the opponent's eyes and then jam your thumb into the roof of their mouth. I used that during a fight once and the guy actually started convulsing! It struck fear into the heart of the other team and we ended up winning the game.

With my expert training, your team will be the most feared team in the entire special olympics. Please reconsider hiring me.

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

You aren't coming anywhere near these children. Your attitude towards this whole thing is disgusting. Its absolutely disturbing that you find this kind of behavior acceptable. Especially for mentally handicapped children. I don't know what kind of insane league you played in but that is not the level of intensity that's meant for these children.

From Me to Judy *******:

Oh, I get it. You're saying that because these kids are mentally handicapped, that they don't deserve to be treated like regular people? Instead, you want to point out their disabilities and tell them that they will never be able to play hockey like normal people. When I saw in your ad that the kids were mentally challenged, I wasn't fazed. I didn't see kids with disabilities, I saw kids that I could turn into great hockey players. Do you not want them to be able to play hockey like everybody else plays it?

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Give me a freaking break. You know that isn't what I meant. Don't pull that card on me. You expect me to believe that a violent psychopath like you genuinely wants to help the mentally challenged play hockey? Yeah, right! You don't give a damn about these children.

From Me to Judy *******:

Judy,

I am starting to think that you are the problem with this team, not the kids. You do not have the right attitude to be working with these kids. If you want to tell these kids that they shouldn't learn hockey the right way because they are mentally challenged, then that is just sad. It is a shame that you are taking away the joy of competitive sports from these kids. Competitive sports are great for kids - it keeps them from turning to drugs and violence in the streets.

Can I please talk to your supervisor? I would like to take your position and suggest that you be fired. You clearly do not have the right attitude to be helping mentally challenged kids.

Sincerely looking forward to taking your job,

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Sure - her number is 1-800-GOTO-HELL

Sincerely done talking to you,

Judy

quote:

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Gravitiger

I don't think that particular post is real.

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You may be missing the point here.

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CEO's office

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she

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Oof

Was offshore on a rig and some new guy came up to us asking where the moon pool pump was. Apparently one of the subsea engineers told him to find it and bring it back. We gave him a couple of suggestions.

No telling how many people he asked and how hard he looked. It was pretty funny.

note…If you don’t know offshore rigs this story will not make any sense to you.

quote:

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One of the best "prank" sites out there is from a guy who has been trolling Craigslist posters for years.

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I discovered that website over a decade ago and man did I get some laughs out of it.

That damn hockey one was one of the best.

It was the late-90s. I worked at a law firm in Baton Rouge. We had over 100 lawyers and about the same number of support staff. At that time, Baton Rouge had several phone books: a residential book, a business white pages, a yellow pages, etc. Each was more than an inch thick. The phone books were replaced on a regular basis.



An associate regularly failed to heed office procedure and log off when he left the office. A teachable moment present itself. On Thursday, a new shipment of phonebooks arrived. We learned that he had an out-of-state deposition the next day, Friday. After he left the office that Thursday evening, an officewide email was sent from his computer requesting the old phone books for recycling for his daughter's school. He asked for everyone to help out his daughter and bring their old phonebooks and stack them in his office.

There were well over 500 phone books in his office when he returned on Monday. He could not walk into his office.

When someone gets up and doesn’t lock their computer- change the language to Chinese. It won’t convert over until it’s restarted the next day.

Takes a lot to set the stage for this one - I'll cut it short.. use imagination.
Happened at NASA decades ago - guy (call him Mike) hires in with super high IQ and an ego to match - was always trying to 'get ahead' asap. Worked closely with me for a while. I was known for routine practical jokes. Call me Moe.

One day I went to the rest room & took the only remaining stall. Had been there a few minutes when the door opened and the lights went out (I deserved it - had done the same thing a few times myself) I didn't think a thing of it - got out - washed my hands and turned the lights out as I left.

Some time later Mike comes by my desk and starts laughing about "getting me" - I had no idea what he was talking about or else I could not have pulled off the "wtf are you talking about" appearance.

So he told me what he'd 'done to me' - and at that instant I knew I had him set up. I told him that when I went to the restroom I noticed both stalls occupied and so I went to the next floor down. He left with the statement "wonder who that poor sob was?"

I went to his immediate supervisor (a good friend of mine - call him Thad) and told him of the situation and to make the most of it.

Later that day our Project manager called Thad but Mike answered the phone and handed it to Thad. It was a short call with just a few ' yes sir' responses, but when the Manager hung up, Thad kept up a 'conversation' - with "Don't think that was any of our guys" and "OK = I'll ask around and let you know" then hung up.

Then he turn to Mike and told him that the project manager and his NASA counterpart were in the rest room getting ready for a big meeting in Bldg 1.

And someone came in and turned off the lights - the proj mgr got shite all over his suit and the NASA counterpart stumbled in the dark getting out of the stall. The whole leadership is pissed off that this kind of crap was going on and they just might cancel our contract if we don't take care of the situation pronto.

Mike immediately told Thad = "That sounds like something Moe would do"

About an hour later an obviously distraught Mike came to me and admitted to the whole thing - said he had been crying for an hour - was going to see our Project Mgr and confess - then offer his resignation"

I began laughing and finally told him the whole thing had been set up to 'get him' - He became not so haughty for the next few years, but his original egotism finally came back to him.

sorry for the length - but it was my best practical joke ever and I never pass up a time to tell it. It's a lot better among folks who know all the players.