re: What do u think about open caskets

My grandmother passed away when I was 11, suddenly, a few hours after my Dad picked me up from there where I went after school many days. This was my first open casket. I hated it. She looked pasty and not at all like herself. I can't get that picture out of my head. I wish it wasn't my last memory. I try to avoid looking in open caskets as much as possible. I've never seen anyone look good. They look pasty and dead. I like to remember them the way they were. I don't want an open casket. If my family needs to see me for some reason, they can do it privately. I want people to remember me living not all dressed up in a box. I want to be buried in pjs.

I'm kind of meh on the open casket thing but people who bring their young children to funerals are trashy and should be flogged

Psychologically open caskets are better. The survivor grief cycle seems to be lessened. This is true for "natural causes" and some expedited cases.

Usually burning, drowning and found days later are good exceptions.

In the natural death of say an older relative, kids should go. At any age. They don't need that kind of shielding from real life. And real death. In fact it's a natural part of the circle of life and you do kids no favors pretending otherwise.

Bringing kids to an open casket suicide or violent deaths of younger people, I give those a "that depends". Kids are constantly growing and maturing and when the natural order of life is turned upside down, I think that adds another layer that outruns maturity to process level, generally.

Growing up in a funeral home family, I probably have been to a thousand or so, starting before kindergarten. The above is based on what I've lived through so no links.

Obviously there are certain situations when an open casket is not feasible, but I don't think I've ever been to one that wasn't open casket. Unless there is a distinction being drawn between the showing and funeral itself.

What I think of open caskets? I think they are not closed.

Ever since my brothers open casket about eight years ago, I won't ever go to another. I had been to several before but that did it for me.

I've always thought open casket funerals will be something that 100 years from now, people will think "they really did that shite?" It just seems outdated and kind of barbaric to me. I know I'm in the minority, btw. That being said, it doesn't offend me or anything. I just think it's weird.

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But is the opinion biased to wanting those embalming fees

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Fair question. No. Bodies start to stink before the family can gather. It can't compare the smell dead deer or any thing. Even kept refrigerated. It's a distinctly distasteful odor.

Now if you can have them buried or cremated in a day, maybe you could skip embalming. But if there is to be a viewing, you want embalming done.

And embalming fluids are not pure like an Egyptian mummy. They are designed to delay decomposition for just a few days and cover any odors so you can remember the person in the best possible way.

As mentioned before, some embalmers are terrible and learned atrocious techniques. But a skilled mortician has a person looking like they are just taking a nap. It's very soothing to the grieving.