re: Weird Things You Misunderstood (Took Literally) as a Kid

I thought the Book of Virtues was the "Book of Bird Shoes"

I thought super heroes could fly because they had capes. Got a cape. Also got stitches.

I also thought the "Neighborhood Watch" signs meant that I was in a shitty ghetto neighborhood and that I had to watch out when going there.

My friend's parents are from India. He grew up in Talladega and on the first day a kid asked him where he came from China. My friend was very confused.

The kid politely told him that he wasn't black or white. Therefore, he had to be "some kind of Chinese". Only three races in the world.

When my 1st wife and her siblings were little they went to the Westbank from Metairie, and their dad pointed out the Superdome. On the way back, he yelled "they moved it, they moved the Superdome". All of them fell for it.

Also, they had family in "the country" and one time while driving out they passed a herd of cattle all gathered under the shade of a tree. The youngest one asked why, to which he answered "they're watching the Saints game"...he got a resounding ohhhhhhh

I thought "end construction" signs were signs protesting the construction.

I thought "jacuzzi" was a nonsense word like "thingamajig" or "whatchamacallit"... Started when my Aunt Corrine told me "my towel was over there by the jacuzzi" (which was covered up at the time and I had no idea what it was)


I thought nuns had flavors based on the colors they wore. We had some Carmelite sisters that lived down the street and they had brown habits... which made sense to me as I thought they were Carmel-like. I was finally corrected when I asked one if she was licorice (white nun wearing black habit). My parents laughed for weeks.


ETA:

I thought if a cul-de-sac had a "no outlet" sign - It meant their was no indoor toilets on that street. Visiting older relatives in rural Pennsylvania may have reinforced that.


Original Black & White The Blob scared the hell outta me. Early childhood in Virginia I wouldn't be caught dead playing in a construction area like my other friends because they would dig holes for the basements first... and everyone knows Blobs start out in holes.

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I thought lick it and stick it was for post office stamps

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When I was 13 I tried to finger a girl but had no idea where the vagina was.

She was not happy.

In my first Tee-ball game, I didn't quite grasp the concept of tagging the runner with the ball to get them out. So, when I fielded the ball, I threw it straight at the base runner.

with a mom involved in theatre, my son experienced his share of clown faces and other stage makeup. when his t-ball team's opponent failed to show, the ref said we would need to play a "makeup game." dude jr. was thrilled because they were going to play a game in clown face.

My son told me that the first time I told him a transformer blew he thought to himself "Holy shite, they are real?"